Tags: Reverted 2017 source edit |
|
Line 89: |
Line 89: |
| == The length of the lede of the article == | | == The length of the lede of the article == |
| Asking this first for confirmation before I trim it. A simple question really: is the lede meant to be so long? It seem excessively detailed with several lengthy paragraphs with several long sentences. It reads like a mini essay that also repeats much of the plot, continuity and note sections of the article. Surely it can be cut down, perhaps to even half its current length? [[User:Snivystorm|<font face="Georgia"><font color="#1E90FF">''Snivy''</font></font>]]<font face="Arial"><font color="dodgerblue"> </font> [[User talk:Snivystorm|<small style="border-style: initial; border-color: initial; "><font face="Cambria"><font color="Grey">✦ ''The coolest Pokemon ever'' ✦</font></font></small>]]</font> 19:30, 10 December 2023 (UTC) | | Asking this first for confirmation before I trim it. A simple question really: is the lede meant to be so long? It seem excessively detailed with several lengthy paragraphs with several long sentences. It reads like a mini essay that also repeats much of the plot, continuity and note sections of the article. Surely it can be cut down, perhaps to even half its current length? [[User:Snivystorm|<font face="Georgia"><font color="#1E90FF">''Snivy''</font></font>]]<font face="Arial"><font color="dodgerblue"> </font> [[User talk:Snivystorm|<small style="border-style: initial; border-color: initial; "><font face="Cambria"><font color="Grey">✦ ''The coolest Pokemon ever'' ✦</font></font></small>]]</font> 19:30, 10 December 2023 (UTC) |
|
| |
| == What if I'd written this. ==
| |
|
| |
| Here's which I'd do if I'd Written this:
| |
|
| |
| 1. Martha Jones returns.
| |
|
| |
| 2. Some Shoboban kidnap Francine Jones and Sylvia Noble for wronging the Doctor such as slapping him, prejrudycing him, and for lying to Donna. And also Yaz for her betrayal on The Power of the Doctor. And Tegan for betraying the Doctor on 'Resurreciton of the Daleks' by abandoning him. And Peri for doubting the 6th Doctor and causing Lytton's death and helping Davros's Necros Daleks with her greed and conceit. And also Mickey for his prejurdyce on 'Rose' and 'Boom Town'. Seekign to execute ehr. And reveal they;d slain many who wronged the Doctor and many he protected such as blowing up the Indian Space Agency for nearly slaying dinosaurs (Dinosaurs on a Spaceship), banishing thsoe who wrong the 10th Doctor to the Midnight Entity's world on Midnight, casuign Queen Victoria's death for her betrayal on Tooth and Claw as wella s how she forge Torchwood thus resurrecting the Dalek and Cyberman Empires, how they fed General Finch and his accomplices to their own dinosaurs for their Operation Golden Age, how they sterilized Amy Pond for betraying the Doctor by doubting him (Victory of the Daleks) and his ganger copy as well as blaming him for the Entity (the TARDIS game), how they arrange for Dan's death to punish Clara for betraying him on Kill the Moon and Dark Water, hwo they arrange for Bill's Cyber-Converison to punish ehr for refusing to trust and help Missy, killed the Brig for slayign Sylurians and beginning the Time War, cause Lucie Miller's death for ebtraying the 8th Doctor by leaving him, and kill Adma's mum to punish hum for betraying the 9th Doctor. They can claim the Docotr declare it so. But ti turns out the Toymaker was to blame, conspriing with a leading member who use propaganda in a way to justify power. And eventually the Toymaker betrays the leader once his use was done for he rbought the Doctor to him.
| |
|
| |
| Steven and Dodo return. And they recognise the Toymaker.
| |
|
| |
| The Toymaker obviously does the puppet act mocking the 14th Doctor for his conceit. But also does it to some companions and Kade for their betrayals, rubbing it in. And Donna for prejurdyicng aleisns uch as saying 'sapce man'.
| |
|
| |
| Rose appears, her psychic link to Donna. And encourages Donna to go on. And Donna heeds, her lvoe for ehr famiyl keeping ehr form fallign tot he Toymaker's goading of sucicie. she'd say 'It's zeor about me'.
| |
|
| |
| When the Toymaker does the puppet show, he can mock hopw the Doctor cause the deaths. How? Coz he refsue to prevent Rassilon, UNIT, the Brig, Omega, Morbious, Tectaun, Davros, the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Sontarans, the Ravagers, the Weeping Angels, and the Rani from being born. But Donna points out compassion is zero cowardice and how the Doctor be as the mosnters, simialr to the 4th Dcotor's motive for sparing Daleks. The Toymaker mocks compassion and love as weaknesses. The 14th Doctor reacts by declaring him wrong, righteously sicken anyone dares to mock love and compassion, and challenges him to defend the honour of virtues.
| |
|
| |
| Rose can see the challenge and cheer how the 14th Doctor sound more as a Doctor. And admit the 5th, War, and 13th ones be proud if they were there. And show them clapping and cheering to encoruage him on.
| |
|
| |
| Ace and Steven try to rugby tackle the Toymaker. But the Toymaker teleports, causing them to colldie. And when they try bazookas, he causes them to get BANG-flags and to punch them with boxing goves.
| |
|
| |
| The Toymaker dresses Tegan, Sylvia, and Francine as chickens moicking their cowardice.
| |
|
| |
| Tish can slap the Toymaker. But he reacts with such a big grin and trick her into shooting, seekign to make her shoto Martha. But MArtha doges being quick.
| |
|
| |
| The Toymaker can dress Donna, Yaz and Kade as Nazis, mocking them for their hypocrisy.
| |
|
| |
| When the companions go to comfrot the 14th Doctor, Tegan and Ace as well as Martha and Yaz can confess they elt their Docotr downa dn refuse to do it again.
| |
|
| |
| Rose can appear to the 14th Doctor.
| |
|
| |
| MArtha can feel something moving, hinting his bi-generation.
| |
|
| |
| Rose can reveal she knew about it. And mock the Toymaker; how his actions backfire with two Doctors./ And call his defeat karma. Death be the easy escape; something he zero deeservesa fter all the lifes he's toy with.
| |
|
| |
| Chariots of the Fire theme play for the two Doctor's victory. Some bits doping in slow motion. Fits the happy occasion.
| |
|
| |
| When the 15th Doctor speaks about events hurting the 14th, he can mention Rassilon and Tectaun using him as wella s how the 9th, 10th, and 11th prejurdyce the war one, and how the 9th one nearly doom worlds by killing Rose's humansie Dalek.
| |
|
| |
| Rose can reveal the past Doctors bi-generade as well. And Yaz reunites with her 13th Doctor. And we see a retire War Doctor, younger somehwere. And more.
| |
|
| |
| The Fifteenth Doctor can wear a kilt from the game to the ending. Hinting the actor's Scottish ancestry. And something in kente, hintign the actor's African ancestry.
| |