Honeymoon Horrors (short story): Difference between revisions

{{Infobox Story

|writer        = [[David Llewellyn]]

|release date  = [[13 October (releases)|13 October]] [[2011 (releases)|2011]]

The Doctor's next recommendation is the [[Gardens of Zul-Thep]] on [[9 July]] [[3104]], where they are attacked by giant killer bees attracted by the [[jam]] they brought for their [[picnic]]. Rory sends the Doctor a voice-mail urgently asking him to pick them up.  

Their next destination is [[1881]] [[Arizona]], but [[Wyatt Earp]] turns out to be "nothing like the films", and tries to shoot Rory. There are also large numbers of aliens hanging about. Amy sends the Doctor a [[telegram]] asking him to come stop the aliens and the randier cowboys, and also to bring some [[Salvon]] for Rory, who's had a "[[cactus accident]]".

Their next stop is a beach on [[Drago 14]] where their beach day is ruined by [[acid-spitting land squid]]s who melt Rory's [[Terry Pratchett]] book and also give him an acid burn on his thumb. Rory is further put out when a visit to a bookshop yields no replacement, as Pratchett's book has been out of print for "almost four hundred years" and, in point of fact, the shop no longer sells print books at all. However, in a travel agent's next to a shop that sells [[acid-proof towel]]s, Amy finds [[Play Among the Stars, and Come Aboard the Thrasymachus|a brochure]] for [[Solaris World Holiday]]'s long, romantic cruises on the ''[[Thrasymachus]]''. The two become set on the idea, especially as the picture of the "Mr and Mrs P from Earth" giving a testimonial for the Honeymoon Special are in fact themselves, suggesting it is a foregone conclusion that they'll go on the cruise at a slightly earlier point in time.  

However, another brochure of which take little note, ''[[Welcome, traveller, to Sardicktown]]'' advertises their real destination: [[Sardicktown]], a city whose tagline is "Enjoy your visit! But don't linger too long." and where notable sights range from [[Garglespike]]'s [[Miss Garglespike's World of Pins|collectio of pins]] to the [[Duckchester Tanneries]] whose tanners "can strip the hide off a giant [[Camoose]] in less than five minutes", the [[Scratchington Fish Market]], [[Doctor|Dr]] [[Henry Fizzog]]'s [[Dr Henry Fizzog's Museum of the Macabre|Museum of the Macabre]], and of course [[Sardick Towers]], which is not even open to the public but which "you can see from most streets if you crane your neck". It includes a peculiar number of dire warnings about the weather and the savagery of large flying fish.

* [[Kazran Sardick]]  

== References ==

* Exhibits in [[Dr Henry Fizzog's Museum of the Macabre]] include the [[mummy]] of [[King]] [[Zadok|Zadok the Gory]], the larvae of a "giant [[Gastropod]]", and "a wide variety of torture and executional implements from across the galaxy".  

* Appointmsnts with [[Kazran Sardick]] should be registered with the [[Assistant Deputy Sub-Manager of Administrative Assistance]] at "the offices of [[Sardick, Sardick & Sons]]", [[91 Throttleby Lane]].  

* Prior to becoming the ''Thrasymachus''<nowiki>'s</nowiki> onboard [[chef]], [[Gourmandroid X7]] starred in the "hit TV shows" ''[[Robochef]]'' and ''[[Robochef's Software Nightmares]]''. Gourmandroid is an expert at "stunningly authentic food substitutes".  

* The ''Thrasymachus'' makes fly-by of [[Halley's Comet]] twice every week.  

* [[Globo the Clonee-Clown's World of Fun]] boasts "the largest ball bit ever constructed, with a volume of over four cubic kilometers".  

* [[Garglespike|Miss Garglespike]] and [[Zadok|Zadok the Gory]] were later [[List of DWU concepts not owned by the BBC|licensed]] by [[David Llewellyn]] for ''[[The Bloodletters (novel)|The Bloodletters]]'', with Garglespike serving as the main antagonist.