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{{quote|It's [[Lying|possible]] they may have been [[radiation|anti-radiation]] [[glove]]s. But you see, I am not a [[mountain goat]], and I prefer walking to ''any'' day! And I hate climbing.|[[The Book of Rassilon]] (2013)}}{{quote|Everything we were told was [[Canon|a lie]]. We, the [[The Timeless Children (TV story)|whole existence of our species]], we are all in a bottle. One day, the bottle will break; the [[Sylvester McCoy|seventh]] [[head]] will speak; [[Doctor Who (TV story)|the Eye will Open]] and stand in [[the Hybrid|the ruins of Gallifrey]]; and [[The Silence|Silence will fall]].|[[Tussan's cat]] (1962)}}{{Infobox User
Hi! I'm [[User:Scrooge MacDuck]].  
|image              = The_Evolution_Episode_Mammoth.jpg
|aka                = <small>[[Aristide Twain]]<br>Scrooge MacBadger<br>The Oncoming [[France|Frog]]<br>The [[Rep]]-robate</small>
|name                = <small>Administrator</small><br>S<small>crooge</small> M<small>ac</small>D<small>uck</small>
|age                = <small>'''Born:'''<br>{{CURRENTDATE}},<br>[[Trenzalore]]<br>'''Died:'''<br> 22 April 2011,<br>[[Gallifrey]]</small>
|affiliation          = <small>[[The Enemy]]<br>[[Tardis (The Zygon Isolation)|Tardis Data Wiki]]<br>[[w:c:scrooge-mcduck:Scrooge McDuck Wiki|$crooge McDuck Wiki]]</small>
|origin              = [[Dark Times|The Dark Times]]
|fav season          =
|fav episode        = [[TV]]: ''[[Joke|The Terrible Zodin]]''
|fav vid            =
|languages          = English<br>French
}}
{{real world}}
"'''Scrooge MacDuck'''", or sometimes "'''Scrooge MacBadger'''", was the chosen alias of '''Aristide Twain''', a [[Renegade Time Lord|Renegade Fandom Lord]]. Originally the Wikimaster of the [[w:c:scrooge-mcduck:Scrooge McDuck Wiki (website)|$crooge McDuck Wiki]], MacDuck was also a fan of the extended [[Doctor Who universe|''Doctor Who'' universe]]. They backed [[the Enemy]] in the [[War in Heaven]], although they did not condone all of its actions (especially its decision to manifest as [[Dalek|a bunch of pepperports]] at the [[Last Great Time War|eleventh hour]]).  


Despite MacDuck's persistent belief that they were trapped inside a [[confession dial]] whose [[Azbantium]] walls would only shatter when every [[Tardis:Redlinks|redlink]] turned to [[gold]] and the last [[Tardis:Stub templates|stub template]] was [[Extermination|exterminated]], many accounts showed that they could actually be contacted by residents of the outside universe through a [[User_talk:Scrooge MacDuck|user talk page]].
I'm one of this Wiki's [[Tardis:Administrators|team of Administrators]], and a long-term contributor to the encyclopaedia itself. Don't hesitate to reach out on [[User talk:Scrooge MacDuck|my talk page]] if there's anything with which you need help — or if you just want to say hello!


In [[2020]], MacDuck became a [[Tardis:Valid sources|Caretaker]] of the [[Tardis (The Zygon Isolation)|Tardis Data Core]] Wiki, being a digital [[encyclopedia]] at the [[end of the universe]]. This prompted them to redraft their user-page, which they wrote in the third person due to [[Joke|a host]] of [[Twice Upon a Time (TV story)|"many… pressing…]] [[wikipedia:Metafiction|reasons]]".
Of course, a Tardis Wiki Admin is not all I am: for example, I'm a very silly person. If you want details, it is possible that despite my best efforts, you might find some useful information in the following document.


== Profile ==
<div class=tech>
=== Species ===
<center><font size=6>'''''“Who In The World Is Scrooge MacDuck?”'''''</font><br><font size=4>'''A Transcript.'''</font></center>
In at least one of their [[regeneration]]s, Scrooge MacDuck was occasionally speculated to be a [[Dalek]] ([[REF]]: ''[https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/User:Scrooge_MacDuck?oldid=3053251 Old Revision]'') or one of the [[original Mammoths]]. ([[REF]]: ''[https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/User:Scrooge_MacDuck?oldid=3053251 Current Revision]'') Their user icon depicted a pair of [[w:c:scrooge-mcduck:Terra-Firmians|Terra-Firmians]], a species of underground semi[[humanoid]]s native to a different universe than [[N-Space]]; this duality sparked widespread speculation{{fact}}  that Scrooge was actually a false identity maintained by two individuals acting in conjunfction. ([[REF]]: ''[https://scrooge-mcduck.fandom.com/wiki/Terra-Firmians Terra-Firmians]'') In truth, however, most scholars{{who}} agreed that Scrooge MacDuck was either a [[posthuman|post-]][[human]] of some kind or a rogue [[artificial intelligence]] accidentally embedded in Wikia's core software matrix.
Transcript starts
=== Identity ===
''Early evening. Footsteps hurry along on wet cobblestones; a cloaked figure, fleeing in the shadows.''
Scrooge MacDuck was often claimed by [[Truth|disreputable parties]] to be the same individual as [[Aristide Twain]], a [[writer]], [[artist]] and [[blog]]ger who alleged that he came from [[France]]. Unsupported rumours claimed that Twain had [http://aristidetwain.tumblr.com an official Tumblr blog] and [https://twitter.com/AristideTwain Twitter profile], although Twain always maintained that these were slanders put about by the [[Shobogan|Shabogans]].
: <font size=5>“</font><font size="2">Hey!</font> <font size=4>Hey, you!</font> <font size=5>Stop right ''there''!”</font>
''The footsteps stop for a moment — then start again, faster — but suddenly, a bright spotlight streams down from a window, catching the figure by surprise. Defeated, the entity throws the cloak aside, revealing a strange superposition of absurd images: [https://aristidetwain.neocities.org/ a skeleton with glasses and a top hat] — an Earthling with long blond hair, leaning on an elegant cane, their features hidden, Magritte-style, behind a hovering [[The Book of the Enemy|book]] a [https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/8f2f1ff2-8163-460e-8fc1-648ac153080e/thumbnail/width/400/height/400 pair of colourful, rocklike creatures] from an old comic book — a hint of other shapes too, some too frightful to consider.''


Twain's [[gender identity]] was a matter of considerable scholarly controversy. Although official reports in [[the Matrix]] most often depicted Twain as principally [[male crewmember|male]], fragmentary evidence in the [[fossil|fossil record]] suggested that their [[pronoun]]s were actually somewhat more diverse, displaying inarguable okayness with "They/Them" as well as "He/Him".
''Perhaps unsurprisingly, nowhere among them is a cartoon duck to be found.''
{{quote|"People assume that [[gender]] is a strict binary of male to female, but actually — from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint — it's more like a big ball of queerily-quibbly... gendery-wondery... stuff."|[[Dr Oho]], probably}}
=== As a writer ===
[[File:Auteur.jpg|thumb|left|[[Godparent (rank)|Godfather]] [[Auteur]] claimed not to have been in [[Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)|a story edited by Twain]], instead alleging that ''he'' had edited the story of Twain.]]Some accounts suggested that the Wiki user Scrooge MacDuck was a re[[loom]]ed form of the same [[Aristide Twain]] who created the non-DWU-related fictional franchise ''[[The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids (series)|The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids]]'' and later served in an advisory capacity on two [[Tardis:Valid sources|valid sources]], [[WC]]: ''[[Shadows of Doubt (webcast)|Shadows of Doubt]]'' and [[PROSE]]: ''[[Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)|Auteur's Abecedarium]]''.


This [[conspiracy theory]] was originally advanced by [[LINDA]] [[detective]]s in the [[2060s]], and gained widespread popularity in the [[City of the Saved]], where neither Scrooge MacDuck/Aristide Twain the Wiki user nor Aristide Twain the writer could be found — although many who knew either Twain in life were known to gravitate around a mysterious figured known as [[Grandfather Halfling|Grandfather Invalid]].  
''The figure smirks, {{w|The Third Man|Orson-Welles-like}}.''


The conspiracy theory that Grandfather Invalid, Twain the Author, and Twain the Editor were one and the same was known in the relevant circles as the [[Cartmel Masterplan|Caramel Masterplan]]. In the 3D movies where he was played by [[Christopher Lee]], Twain was purported to be the same individual as [[Auteur|Godfather Auteur]] and to have invented [[Tardis (The Zygon Isolation)|the Tardis Wiki]] in his [[backyard]], but these movies were widely considered to be [[canon|non-canonical]].
: <font size=3>“''There'' you are. Alright, then, who sent you?”</font>
=== Editing style ===
As an editor of the Tardis Data Core Wiki, and even before obtaining [[Tardis:Administrators|adminship]], Scrooge MacDuck could often be found lurking on the Forums prior to their [https://tardis.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000082913 cyberconversion] by the [[Cyberon]]s. MacDuck often weighed in on matters of policy or inclusion debates. Although much concerned with the facts and due process, MacDuck could generally be relied upon to argue for inclusion rather than exclusion, if there was indeed room within policy for that argument to be made in good faith.
{{quote|There is nothing you can do to stop the catharsis of spurious non-canonicity.|[[The Valeyard|The Validyard]]}}


However, he was also a diligent editor of the actual body of the Wiki, with a [[User:Scrooge_MacDuck/Created_Pages|large number of created pages on record]]. Twain once described themselves as "fascinated" by the furthest boundaries of ''Doctor Who''-ness and the oddest odds-and-ends that are to be found, just as much as by the great televised masterpieces; as such, while you could certainly find them [http://tardis.fandom.com/wiki|Orphan_55_(TV_story)?diff=next&oldid=2832685 adding synopses to recent ''Doctor Who'' episodes' pages] and suchlike, he was more often engaged in coverage of less prominent, but, in their view, equally important, works — for the simple reason that there were fewer other people who'd do it if they didn't, whereas you could generally trust the, in his words, "amazing community" of Tardis to yield fantastic TV story pages very quickly.
''“Who sent me what?''


One thing to note about Twain's editing style is that when they covered something, they generally covered it ''thoroughly''. Twas another man than he who would leave a page like [[Doctor Why's TARDIS]] a stub or a redlink, if he set his mind to boosting coverage of ''[[Hallo My Dalek]]'' — no matter if it didn't exactly seem like a priority as a whole.
: <font size=3>“Never mind the witticism — let's start with a simpler question. What's your name?</font>


===Contacting Scrooge MacDuck===
''“Simple? No, no, I shouldn't think so. But let's try it anyway. In [[TARDIS Wiki (in-universe)|this dimension]] I'm known as [[User:Scrooge MacDuck#Aliases of Scrooge MacDuck|Scrooge MacDuck]], or simply [[User:Scrooge MacDuck#Aliases of Scrooge MacDuck|Scrooge]]. That's M''a''cDuck with the A spelled out; not ''Mc''Duck. No relation to the cartoon duck.”''
Scrooge MacDuck was usually "pretty quick" to reply to messages; he invited users old and new to "feel free to ask me anything on my talk page"; they could expect an answer within a week or so (probably less, but one could never know when a horribly busy week might kick in). MacDuc was always happy to talk things out in case of editing disagreements, or to explain policy to new users who didn't quite grasp its many subtlety and idiosyncrasies.


== Biography ==
: <font size=3>“I see. Any other names we should know about?”</font>
{{quote|I’ve lived a long Wiki-life… and I have seen a few things. I walked away from the Last Great [[10,000 Dawns (series)|Dawns War]]. I marked the passing of [[User:Amorkuz|Amorkuz]]. I saw the birth of the [[Doctor Who? (comic series)|''Doctor Who?'' coverage project]], and I watched as time ran out for ''[[Doctor Who: Lockdown!#The Fan Gallery|The Fan Gallery]]'', moment by moment, until nothing remained. No pages, no links. Just [[w:c:lockdown:The Lockdown Fan Gallery|another Wiki]]! I walked in [[Forum:Panopticon archives|forum archives]] where the laws of [[Tardis:Valid sources|validity]] were governed by the [[Canon|Word]] of the [[Rassilon|Madman]]! And I watched [[Special:Forum]] freeze, and [[Tardis:User rights nominations/Archive#Borisashton|nominations]] burn! I have [[The Doctor in popular culture and mythology|seen things]] you wouldn’t believe! I have [https://tardis.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000732357 lost things] you will never ''understand''!|Scrooge MacDuck in "The Threads of Akhaten"}}
=== Notable editing ===
Scrooge MacDuck was credited with the overhauling of the [[Dalek]] and [[Thousand Year War]] pages with more information from [[The Daleks (comic series)|the TV Century 21 ''The Daleks'' comic series]], and boosting coverage of the [[Dalek annual]]s, with the creation of such pages as ''[[Inside a Skaro Saucer]]'' and ''[[The Dalek Dictionary]]'' (which "took a while"). As part of the same effort, MacDuck was instrumental to the merges that allowed the inception of the pages [[Dalek Prime]] and [[Black Dalek Leader]].


MacDuck also pioneered improved coverage of the contents of [[Tim Quinn]] and [[Dicky Howett]]'s ''[[The Doctor Who Fun Book]]'' and its fellows — not only filling out the "non-DWU" category tree by some margin, but also identifying a few ''non''-parodical, full-length comic stories (most notably ''[[The Test of Time (comic story)|The Test of Time]]'') which had thus far been overlooked on our Wiki, despite being duly documented at the likes of ''Altered Vistas''.
''“In the Lands of Discord, there are those who call me Scrooge MacBadger. That's [[Rep (The Taking of Planet 5)|Rep.]] [[User:Scrooge MacDuck#Aliases of Scrooge MacDuck|Scrooge MacBadger]], to be exact. And when the mood strikes me to offend the Muses, I credit the results to [[Aristide Twain]].”''


MacDuck was also engaged, as late as {{CURRENTDATE}}, in the creation of pages for all episodes of ''[[The Fan Show]]'' and about the characters & concepts who appeared in the skits it contained, from [[Estellebalhoonarkedo|Lady Estellebalhoonarkedo]] to [[Terry (The Old Doctor Who Monsters' Home)|Terry the Cyberman]] to [[Steven's ball of wibby wobby timey wimey stuff]].
: <font size=3>“Those names are extremely tawdry and you ought to be ashamed. ''Aristide'', what's that, French?”</font>


=== Sandboxes ===
''“Well, Greek, etymologically speaking, but that's the French spelling, certainly. You see, I am, in fact, French. …And I'm not sorry either.”''
Over his millennia of activity on the human Internet, Scrooge MacDuck created [[pocket dimension]]s over which he held [[god]]like [[power]].


These included:
: <font size=3>“I probably should ask about the gender situation…”</font>
# '''[[User:Scrooge_MacDuck/Sandbox_Alpha]]'''<br>  (<small>'''Currently occupied by''': rewritten [[Creation of the Daleks]] page</small>)
# '''[[User:Scrooge_MacDuck/Sandbox_Beta]]'''<br>  (<small>'''Currently occupied by''': policy draft</small>)
# '''[[User:Scrooge_MacDuck/Sandbox_Gamma]]'''<br>  (<small>'''Currently occupied by:''' proposed incarnations of the Doctor navbox, propsoed redux of Master stories navbox</small>)
# '''[[User:Scrooge_MacDuck/Sandbox_Delta]]'''<br> (<small>'''Currently occupied by:''' revamped [[Dr. Who (Dr. Who and the Daleks)]]</small>)
# '''[[User:Scrooge MacDuck/Sandbox Epsilon]]'''<br> (<small>'''Currently occupied by:''' dated Dalek timeline</small>)
[[Category:Users]]


Also notable was a [[Matrix data slice]] known as [[User:Scrooge MacDuck/The Lost Closing Post|"the Lost Closing Post"]], being a reconstitution of the Closing Post to the historic thread which ruled [[TV]]: ''[[The Curse of Fatal Death (TV story)|The Curse of Fatal Death]]'' valid, and which had been lost to a technical incident some time after implementation.
''“Oh, masculine, essentially.”''


=== Far future ===
: <font size=3>“…I'm going to regret asking, but — ‘essentially’?”</font>
{{main|Far future}}
 
A few trillion years into the future of the time frame most accounts dealt with, MacDuck was planning to create Panopticon threads proposing a series of change to the Wiki's policies, which could only be done on the Wiki through community discussions.  
''“Let us say that I can go for the occasional [[singular they]], and keep it at that.”''
* The [[Tardis:Guide to images|restriction on images over 100 kilo-octets large]] made sense when the Wiki started, but in this day and age, I think it's become downright archaic for most intents and purposes. MacDuck did not not argue that the Wiki should start uploading high-def 10 Mo image at every corner, but being something like 600 ko should no longer be a "delete-on-sight"-type offence.
 
* If [[The Power of the Daleks (TV story)|animated recons]] and [[Macra|"special editions" with added CGI]] of TV stories are considered valid sources for screenshots, it was, in MacDuck's own word, "frankly unfair" that colourised reprints of comics were still exiled to BTS sections.
: <font size=3>“Yes, let's. So, Mr Twain, or whoever you are — what is it you… do?</font>
* [[The Master]] should be split into different pages for each new body. MacDuck justified himself thusly:
 
{{quote|No, we sometimes don't know what order these bodies go into exactly, or by what exact mechanism the Master went from one to the other. And? We don't know when and how the Doctor regenerates into [[Curator (The Day of the Doctor)|the Curator]], that never bothered us. If anything, these uncertainties seem to pose more difficulties with trying to write a single, linear biography of the Master than they would with separate pages.|"The Book of the Master" (2613)}}
''“I make Wikis,” they reply nonchalantly. “Or I contribute to them, as the case may be. In this case I'm an [[Tardis:Administrators|Administrator]] of this place; not the oldest, not the youngest, either. I tinker, I discuss matters in [[Forum:The Cloisters|the Forum]], I write and I redraft pages. [[User talk:Scrooge MacDuck|My talk page is always open]] if you've got a question. That goes for you, too, by the way, Mr High-And-Mighty Ambiguous Metafictional Gimmick. You didn't have to track me down to whatever half-baked pseudo-fiction framing device you call this…”''
* [[Tardis:Valid sources]] should have a clause that allows for a specific community discussion to let a story with no licensed DW elements at all in, so as to accommodate those stories which started out as not officially DW-related, but which were always meant as DW-''adjacent'' and have since seen their concepts and characters become parts of ''Doctor Who''. Prime candidates would be:
 
** BBV's ''Cyberon'' <small>(the protagonist [[Lauren Anderson]] and the villains [[Cyberon|the Cyberons]] both already have pages on the Wiki — and to boot, it started production as a ''DW'' spin-off even if they'd lost their license by the time they finished things up)</small>
: <font size=3>“Where's the fun in that?” asks the Gimmick. “Admin, then. Just on Tardis?”</font>
** Paul Magrs' ''Phoenix Court'' books <small>(the first appearance of [[Iris Wildthyme]], [[Forum:Iris Wildthyme: should she stay or should she go?|all of whose further appearances have been ruled DWU]], and explicitly shown in ''[[The Blue Angel (novel)|The Blue Angel]]'' to still be valid history for this DWU Iris)</smalL>.  
 
* [[Tardis:No personal attacks]] should be dependent on the supposed victim's opinion: if the accused editor claims they meant no offence, ''and none was taken'', there shouldn't need to be any sanctions.
''“Hardly! I run the [[w:c:Jenny_Everywhere_Wiki|Jenny Everywhere Wiki]], as well, and there are more besides, though nowhere I'm very active anymore nowadays.”''
== Behind the scenes ==
 
In case anybody was wondering, this page's framing device fails Rule 2 and 4 of [[T:VS]] and should not be considered a [[T:VS|valid in-universe source]] on the Data Core Wiki.  
: <font size=3>“But that's not all you do, is it? You mentioned some writing…”</font>
 
''“Ah, yes. Yes, I'm something of a storyteller. Mainly, I write [[The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids (series)|The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids]] with [[Lupan Evezan]] — you might have heard of it, although you probably haven't… And then, there's my [[Doctor Who universe|DWU]] work. (Small multiverse, isn't it?) I've written prose and audio stories for [[Faction Paradox (series)|Faction Paradox]] and [[P.R.O.B.E. (series)|P.R.O.B.E.]].”''
 
: <font size=3>“Well I do hope you don't [[Tardis:Don't wikify your own material|self-promote in the main namespace]].”</font>
 
''“Do not cite [[T:WIKIFY OWN]] to me, Gimmick. I was there when it was written. In any case, my few DWU endeavours to date are just the start: soon, there'll be —”''
 
: <font size=3>“Shush. [[Tardis:Spoiler policy|Behave]].”</font>
 
''“…You're no fun.”''
 
: <font size=3>“You started it.”</font>
 
''“Did not.”''
 
: <font size=3>“Yes you did, you wrote this entire faux-interview.”</font>
 
''“That's right, shatter the fourth wall completely, why don't you. And all for a reheated joke from an overexposed sitcom. You know what? I'm leaving. See you never.”''
 
: <font size=3>“Wait! Er — leaving? Leaving where?”</font>
 
''“My entire existence doesn't revolve around the Wiki, you know. I do have a life out there in the four-dimensional realm. And even on the Interwebs, there are other places I might be found. I'm on [https://aristidetwain.tumblr.com/ Tumblr], I'm [https://discord.gg/doctorwho on Discord], I'm on the [https://factionparadox.boards.net/ Faction Paradox Forum] — even in the depths of [https://twitter.com/AristideTwain websites which have gone through Xtremely inadvisable rebrands]. Face it, there's no getting rid of me.”''
 
''The figure takes a bow, tips his top hat, and snaps his fingers, summoning what looks like [[w:c:jennyeverywhere:Fog Ship|a small, solid cloud with a dome-shaped hatch and a steering wheel]]. Before the Ambiguous Metafictional Gimmick can react, the Administrator hops aboard the ship and punches some coordinates into the control panel; with a flash of purplish light, they both vanish, leaving the Gimmick to contemplate its fate.''
 
: <font size=3>“W-wait,” it belatedly realises.</font> <font size=4>“If no one's around to write me into existence,</font><font size=5> don't I just —”</font>
 
Transcript ends
 
</div>
[[Category:Users]]
[[Category:Users]]

Latest revision as of 01:02, 9 March 2024

Hi! I'm User:Scrooge MacDuck.

I'm one of this Wiki's team of Administrators, and a long-term contributor to the encyclopaedia itself. Don't hesitate to reach out on my talk page if there's anything with which you need help — or if you just want to say hello!

Of course, a Tardis Wiki Admin is not all I am: for example, I'm a very silly person. If you want details, it is possible that despite my best efforts, you might find some useful information in the following document.

“Who In The World Is Scrooge MacDuck?”
A Transcript.
Transcript starts

Early evening. Footsteps hurry along on wet cobblestones; a cloaked figure, fleeing in the shadows.

Hey! Hey, you! Stop right there!”

The footsteps stop for a moment — then start again, faster — but suddenly, a bright spotlight streams down from a window, catching the figure by surprise. Defeated, the entity throws the cloak aside, revealing a strange superposition of absurd images: a skeleton with glasses and a top hat — an Earthling with long blond hair, leaning on an elegant cane, their features hidden, Magritte-style, behind a hovering book — a pair of colourful, rocklike creatures from an old comic book — a hint of other shapes too, some too frightful to consider.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, nowhere among them is a cartoon duck to be found.

The figure smirks, Orson-Welles-like.

There you are. Alright, then, who sent you?”

“Who sent me what?”

“Never mind the witticism — let's start with a simpler question. What's your name?

“Simple? No, no, I shouldn't think so. But let's try it anyway. In this dimension I'm known as Scrooge MacDuck, or simply Scrooge. That's MacDuck with the A spelled out; not McDuck. No relation to the cartoon duck.”

“I see. Any other names we should know about?”

“In the Lands of Discord, there are those who call me Scrooge MacBadger. That's Rep. Scrooge MacBadger, to be exact. And when the mood strikes me to offend the Muses, I credit the results to Aristide Twain.”

“Those names are extremely tawdry and you ought to be ashamed. Aristide, what's that, French?”

“Well, Greek, etymologically speaking, but that's the French spelling, certainly. You see, I am, in fact, French. …And I'm not sorry either.”

“I probably should ask about the gender situation…”

“Oh, masculine, essentially.”

“…I'm going to regret asking, but — ‘essentially’?”

“Let us say that I can go for the occasional singular they, and keep it at that.”

“Yes, let's. So, Mr Twain, or whoever you are — what is it you… do?

“I make Wikis,” they reply nonchalantly. “Or I contribute to them, as the case may be. In this case I'm an Administrator of this place; not the oldest, not the youngest, either. I tinker, I discuss matters in the Forum, I write and I redraft pages. My talk page is always open if you've got a question. That goes for you, too, by the way, Mr High-And-Mighty Ambiguous Metafictional Gimmick. You didn't have to track me down to whatever half-baked pseudo-fiction framing device you call this…”

“Where's the fun in that?” asks the Gimmick. “Admin, then. Just on Tardis?”

“Hardly! I run the Jenny Everywhere Wiki, as well, and there are more besides, though nowhere I'm very active anymore nowadays.”

“But that's not all you do, is it? You mentioned some writing…”

“Ah, yes. Yes, I'm something of a storyteller. Mainly, I write The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids with Lupan Evezan — you might have heard of it, although you probably haven't… And then, there's my DWU work. (Small multiverse, isn't it?) I've written prose and audio stories for Faction Paradox and P.R.O.B.E..”

“Well I do hope you don't self-promote in the main namespace.”

“Do not cite T:WIKIFY OWN to me, Gimmick. I was there when it was written. In any case, my few DWU endeavours to date are just the start: soon, there'll be —”

“Shush. Behave.”

“…You're no fun.”

“You started it.”

“Did not.”

“Yes you did, you wrote this entire faux-interview.”

“That's right, shatter the fourth wall completely, why don't you. And all for a reheated joke from an overexposed sitcom. You know what? I'm leaving. See you never.”

“Wait! Er — leaving? Leaving where?”

“My entire existence doesn't revolve around the Wiki, you know. I do have a life out there in the four-dimensional realm. And even on the Interwebs, there are other places I might be found. I'm on Tumblr, I'm on Discord, I'm on the Faction Paradox Forum — even in the depths of websites which have gone through Xtremely inadvisable rebrands. Face it, there's no getting rid of me.”

The figure takes a bow, tips his top hat, and snaps his fingers, summoning what looks like a small, solid cloud with a dome-shaped hatch and a steering wheel. Before the Ambiguous Metafictional Gimmick can react, the Administrator hops aboard the ship and punches some coordinates into the control panel; with a flash of purplish light, they both vanish, leaving the Gimmick to contemplate its fate.

“W-wait,” it belatedly realises. “If no one's around to write me into existence, don't I just —”
Transcript ends