Never Mind the Buzzcocks: Doctor Who Special

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The Doctor Who special of Never Mind The Buzzcocks was a special edition of the BBC pop music comedy panel show that began in 1996. It was first broadcast on 16 December 2009.

Celebrities

Opening

Tennant entered by popping up from under the desk as smoke was blasted around his chair and the TARDIS materialisation/dematerialisation sound was heard. He joked about adding in the rematerialisation effect later and after welcoming the audience to the show and introducing the guests, invited the teams to start play "before I fall back through a wormhole in time and space and turn back into Sylvester McCoy."

First round

The first round was "Connections" - first between Coldplay and McFly (which Tennant said was what Busted had regenerated into) and then between Kate Bush (her singing, Tennant joked, was "the only known sound in the universe that repels Cybermen and makes Dal..." before he stopped) and Robbie Williams (who Tennant said "needs Take That more than a Dalek needs a bungalow.")

  • While trying to come up with answers, Tate mistakenly thought that Tennant being the host gave the show a supernatural theme and had to be corrected into saying "sci-fi." Jupitus told her, "There is another clue from a previous job just to your left..." She and others turned to see the TARDIS present, and Tate joked she hadn't heard it materialise.
  • The answers turned out to be that both Coldplay and McFly had had their music transmitted through space (which Jupitus' team got correct) and that Bush and Williams believed aliens actually exist (which Fielding's team got correct.) When explaining the first answer, Tennant explained, "The answer is both of them had their music beamed across the solar system to the International Space Station. It was annoying for the astronauts, as they'd actually requested more oxygen canisters. McFly's song contained the lyrics, 'There's nothing on Earth that could save us when I fell in love with Uranus,' which, as it happens, was a line removed from the pilot episode of Torchwood...Barrowman!" He shook his fist and growled, and also jokingly blamed Barrowman for a thong being sent to McFly bassist and backup singer Dougie Poynter that read "Turn your erection in my direction". At the end of the round, he also joked that the most terrifying beast(s) he'd faced as the Tenth Doctor were the Sugababes since they regenerated every time one thought they'd been killed.
  • When Whiley - a Whovian herself - and Tate both said they'd rather answer questions on Doctor Who than on music, Tennant cued the Doctor Who theme and started up a mini-competition. Whiley correctly remembered that the Doctor has two hearts and that Davros created the Daleks, but Tate, despite being a companion, was unable to remember what TARDIS stood for, leading Whiley to remark that she and not Tate should have been an assistant/companion (to a chorus of "Ohs" from the crowd.) Tate rebutted that she was supposed to be slightly dim as Donna and then revealed - to Tennant's horror and the crowd's surprise - that she had had to learn that the Doctor was not called "Doctor Who" - and even that she thought the Doctor was "Mister Who who was a doctor."

Intros round

  • As an added Doctor Who twist in the rules, the teams were each allowed to ask for help from the TARDIS. When Whiley asked for help while trying to guess Don't Go, an Ood emerged and performed the intro. (Tate asked for help while trying to guess The Final Countdown by Europe and a band emerged to play the intro.)
  • Tennant ribbed Barrowman once again when he said of Muse's frontman, "Matt Bellamy has been plagued recently by a flurry of letters from fans claiming they would commit suicide unless he sleeps with them. Barrowman!"
  • While wondering where within the TARDIS the band had come from, Jupitus asked Tennant if they had come from the TARDIS's sex room and if the Doctor had had intercourse, to which Tennant replied that the Doctor has had children (daughter Jenny in TV: The Doctor's Daughter and granddaughter Susan Foreman.) Jupitus then gave his impression of what a Dalek might sound like while making love.
  • Tennant also made a Doctor Who production-related joke playing off The Final Countdown being about the destruction of Earth and humanity heading for Venus - "Venus isn't so bad. I've been to many planets in the solar system and you'd be surprised how many of them look like quarries in Wales."

Identity parade

Both teams were asked to pick out people from "Doctor"-themed/named bands. When Fielding's team was asked to find Dr. Feelgood bassist John B. Sparks, they found that No. 5 in their identity parade was a Dalek (as Tennant said, "I feel like we've met before.") Both Fielding and Cullum momentarily thought Davros was about to emerge.

Next lines

  • Cribbins successfully filled in the blanks on the Doctor Who knock-knock joke and also remembered the Daleks' "Exterminate! Exterminate!"
  • The last few "next lines" for Tate, Fielding and Callum were punch lines to "Doctor, Doctor" jokes:

Outcome

The game was declared to be a 12-12 draw.

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