Roland Rat: The Series Series 1, Episode Two (TV story)
The second episode[nb 1] of the first series of Roland Rat: The Series produced by the BBC,[1][2] sometimes mistakenly identified as the third,[3] was broadcast on 13 September 1986.[1][2][4] The episode was notable for being a crossover with Doctor Who; it starred Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor presenting continuity announcements for the in-universe series, as the series was shown to be a show-within-a-show.
Plot
The Sixth Doctor disdainfully introduces an episode of BBC3's Roland Rat: The Series, and then proceeds to inanely cry out "Yeeeaaah!" — Roland Rat's catchphrase.
Entering the Ratcave, Roland Rat enquires to Maureen if there have been any telephone calls. Maureen answers in the positive, but when asked if she had written it down, it is revealed that she only wrote the number of telephone calls down, not the actual substance of the calls.
Kevin the Gerbil enters and asks if Roland has the ratings for the previous episode. Roland asks Maureen to hand him the very important blue envelope, but it is revealed that she has deposited it in the rubbish bin. It is revealed that 7438000 people were watching. It is further revealed that Kevin has, in fact, read out the BBC's telephone number, and that the actual number of people watching was 20 million. This fact is celebrated by all present, until Roland realises that 20 million viewers is actually a very small number, proclaiming that "even EastEnders got more than that!". Maureen says that she never misses an episode of EastEnders, to which Roland tells her to shut up. D'Arcy De Farcey says that "the whole world is obsessed with soap operas", at which Roland decides that they are now a soap opera.
D'Arcy De Farcey, who is booed by the crowd as he walks on stage, then proceeds to introduce Roland Rat (whom he wrongly calls Raynard), and Roland comes on stage. He welcomes them to the Ratcave, and a train goes overhead, as they are underneath King's Cross station. He then says what's going to happen later on in the show, and introduces their cooking slot, presented by Maureen.
Maureen begins to introduce the slot, but is interrupted by D'Arcy De Farcey, who wants to promote his new book, D'Arcy De Farcey's Secrets of the World's Greatest Chefs. He manages to sell several copies, before it is revealed that the book is in fact, completely blank. Maureen believes that it is entirely blank because they're secrets. Maureen says that what she is cooking is a surprise, then is surprised by a custard pie in the face from Ron Rat, aimed at Errol the Hamster.
Roland Rat then proceeds to introduce Curiosity Killed the Cat, who play their song Misfit.
Kevin then informs Roland that there are more ratings, and that four out of five people in China watch the show. A supposed "special message of thanks and support" in Chinese, as arranged by Kevin, goes up on the screen. It is then revealed that they have accidentally ordered Chinese takeaway.
Iris and Freddy, Roland's parents, sit on a bench in a park. Iris and Freddie then complain about Roland Rat going "Yeeeeaaah!" all the time. Iris wonders where he gets it from, then realises that Freddy does it as well. Freddy then protests that he does not, in fact go "Yeeeaaah!" but instead "Yay". Iris then wonders why Roland Rat is a superstar, because he doesn't dance or sing or juggle or anything else that could conceivably be construed as things that a superstar would do. She then goes on to conclude that Roland is a superstar because he goes "Yeeeaaah!", and that Freddy too can be a superstar if he goes "Yeeeaaah!". He attempts to go "Yeeeaaah!" but fails, and Iris tells him disappointedly that he isn't a superstar.
Roland Rat, back in the Ratcave, concludes that his parents are slightly embarrassing, and says that it's time for the new soap opera. Acting as their Official soap adviser is Wendy Richards from EastEnders, who knows all about soap through working in a laundrette, whom Roland interviews.
The new soap opera, RatEnders, starts. Roland Rat asks Glenys the Guinea Pig to try and speak with a cockney accent, which she fails to do. In character, she then tells Roland that he is a mean and dreadful husband, as he is always looking at other guinea pigs. He, again in-character, replies that he is very cruel and ruthless, but fails to confirm that he looks at other guinea pigs.
more to be added
After the episode finishes, the Doctor is awoken by the prodding of a pole. He recaps the audience on what they had been watching, and then excitedly tells them to switch over to BBC1 to watch Doctor Who, which he refers to as "the series". Ron Rat jumps up, calling Doctor Who "rubbish" — an act for which the Doctor attempts to murder Ron, using a ray-gun he just happens to have on his person. Fortunately for Ron, the Doctor is a lousy shot.
Cast
- Sixth Doctor - Colin Baker
- Maureen - Anna Karen
- D'Arcy De Farcey - James Saxon
- Curiosity Killed the Cat - themselves
- Wendy Richard - herself
- Voice of Roland Rat, Ron Rat, Kevin the Gerbil, Errol the Hamster, Little Reggie, Fergie the Ferret, Glenis the Guinea Pig, Colin the Flea, Iris and Freddy - David Claridge [source needed]
Crew
- Puppeteers - Louise Gold, Anne Prior, Leslie Herbert, Maggie Danylewycz, Darryl Worbey, John Blundall
- Writer - David Claridge, Colin Bostock-Smith, John Cangoon, Sean Carton, David Tomlinson
- Director - Marcus Mortimer
- Producer - Marcus Mortimer
- Music - Matt Aitken, Mike Stock, Pete Waterman
- Cameraman - Dave Grey
- Sound Recordist - Doug Mawson
- Film Editor - Nick Hutchings
- Properties Buyer - Bob Warans
- Graphic Design - Iain Greenway, Simon Everson
- Vision Effects Designer - Malcolm James
- Camera Supervisor - Spencer Payne
- Technical Co-ordinators - Jeff Jeffery, Terry Wild
- Vision Mixer - Angela Beveridge
- VT Editors - Peter Bird, Mykola Pawlock
- Make-up designer - Cecile Hay-Arthur
- Costume designer - Ken Trew
- Production assistant - Claire Sharp
- Assistant floor manager - Simon Spencer
- Sound - Bob Foley, Len Shorey
- Lighting - Henry Barber, Graham Aimmington
- Production manager - Nick Fiveash
- Designer - Grenville Horner, Donal Woods
- Executive producer - Michael Hurll
References
- The Doctor compares the Dalek, Cybermen, and even "Wogan from the planet Shepherd's Bush" and green slimy things to Roland Rat: The Series.
- According to Kevin the Gerbil, there are 4,684,356,738 people in the world.
- D'Arcy De Farcey considers Roland Rat to be "a legend in his own lifetime", and one of the most caring, sensitive performers he knows, apart from Bob Monkhouse.
- Wendy Richards believes that the secret to a good soap opera is having someone like her in it.
- Roland Rat never misses an episode of EastEnders.
- Fergie the Ferret cannot stand a cheap opening title sequence.
Notes
- The story was broadcast in conjunction with The Trial of a Time Lord, with the Doctor wearing his stripy waistcoat and yellow star-speckled necktie from Terror of the Vervoids.
- RatEnders is a parody of EastEnders.
Continuity
- This story is not the first to depict the Doctor Who series existing in-universe, having been depicted in in many sources released both before and after this episode.
Footnotes
Notes
- ↑ Documentation of the series is scarce online, with the appearance of the Sixth Doctor not even being noted on many television listing pages. This Wiki has instead found that the performance of Curiosity Killed The Cat within this episode is attributed to episode 2 by several sources, so the Wiki has identified the episode as such.
Sources
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Category:Stories that crossover with non-DWU series Category:1986 television stories Category:Sixth Doctor television stories Category:Stories about Doctor Who
