So You're Caught in a Rocket Attack
From Tardis Wiki, the free Doctor Who reference
So You're Caught in a Rocket Attack is a pamphlet that the Fourth Doctor read on the planetoid Barclow while caught in a Chelonian rocket attack.
It advised concealing oneself away from tall structures, and provided a diaggramme for a position to crouch in. Small print at the end of the pamphlet absolved the publisher of any liability for loss of life or property, and advised that the techniques enumerated therein were ineffective against heat-seeking missiles. (MA: The Well-Mannered War)