A World of Pure Unimagination (short story)

A World of Pure Unimagination was the first short story in the Everywhere's Extraordinary Escapades series, published exclusively on the The Cheshire House website on 31 March 2024, written by Xavier Llewellyn and edited by Aristide Twain^[1].

The story was based upon the infamous Willy's Chocolate Experience event in Glasgow, itself based upon the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It additionally incorporated various elements of the Doctor Who universe, such as Gevity, the Unravel, and the "Hyperspace Tyrants", the latter two of which were licensed from Jamie H Cowan and Aristide Twain, respectively.

Plot[[edit] | [edit source]]

Jenny Everywhere spends a day in the Third Universe, helping to mitigate the damage of the Unravel, during which she meets a pair of Pinguis - Bibendum and Puff Tremayne - on a snowy planet. Jenny gives the pair a device to help them get off the planet, and is now in the mood for chocolate.

After this, Jenny shifts out of her current body and into the body of the Jenny Everywhere of another universe, as the universe resembled that of a film she'd watched as a child. After a moment of disorientation, Jenny notices that she's in a more Victorian and wet location than the expected, "ambiguously Germanic" town.

Jenny runs for shelter from the rain, taking refuge inside the nearest newsagent's, within which she finds a newspaper which shows her that she's in Glasgow on 24 February 2024. Further down on the front page, she notices an article: "WILLY MCDUFF'S CHOCOLATE FACTORY OPENS ITS DOORS". After reading through the article, memorising the location of the factory and noticing the lack of any image of the factory, she waits for the rain to subside and sets off for the factory, going down the high street towards the River Clyde, before following South Street.

Within ten minutes, she reaches her destination, realising that she's arrived at a warehouse, as opposed to a magical factory. Nethertheless, she enters, noticing that the interior looks as unimpressive as the exterior. Inside the factory are multiple families, with their children all smiling.

Jenny walks over to an individual who, after looking up from his smartphone, introduces himself as Simon, a Wonkidoodle, and informs her that admission costs thirty—five pounds per person. She pays, and is given a paper bracelet to wear on her wrist.

After a short while, Willy McDuff arrives and introduces the crowd his chocolate factory, describing himself as "your number one guide to the Garden of Enchantment". This amuses Jenny, who hadn't been expecting to encounter a "cheap knock—off". McDuff continues his introduction, with Jenny noticing that the "spiel" didn't seem to have anything to do with chocolate or sweets of any kind.

McDuff continues to talk as the group pass through the gates, asking if they'd come prepared, with the children enjoying this while the parents appeared unimpressed. As they walk through the garden, a Wonkidoodle pretends to trip over a patch of flowers, sending glass marbles flying.

After some time, the group encounters a woman dressed in a dark, hooded robe who emerges from behind a mirror, who McDuff identifies as "The Unknown!", noting that he and the Wonkidoodles refer to her as such as they don't know her name, before explaining that the Unknown is "an evil chocolate—maker who lives in the walls".

The Unknown waves her gloved hand and freezes McDuff in position, before asking the children to help her to steal all of McDuff's recipes, so that they could run the company together, promising them all the sweets they could desire, forever. The group, including Jenny, shout "No!", before rushing towards the Unknown as the entity unfroze McDuff and vanished.

Jenny questions McDuff on what's going on and, after receiving no helpful response, splits off to investigate. She finds a pair of Wonkidoodles at a table with a set of lab equipment, with Courtesy expressing to Janine her desire to leave. Jenny approaches, and asks what's up with McDuff and the Unknown, with the pair asking Jenny to come with them. After some encouragement, she ultimately agrees and follows the pair outside.

Outside, Courtesy explains to Jenny that the event was orchestrated by the Illuminati, surprising Jenny. Courtesy goes on to explain that she and Janine suspect that the Illuminati are trying to brainwash kids, that McDuff seemed to have been brainwashed, and that they believe the Unknown is just a kid. After hearing this, Jenny decides that they need to get the kids out of the warehouse immediately.

Jenny re-enters the factory, demanding that McDuff step away from the children and punching him, with him keeling over and the parents instinctively grasping their children. Jenny gets Janine to drag McDuff out, at which time Courtesy gave small handfuls of jelly beans to the children. Making her way towards the entrance with the crowd, Jenny took the money—box from Simon in order to refund the attendees of the event, at which moment Janine tells Jenny that she won't believe who's at the door: Karen Gillan.

In almost no time, Karen pushes open the door, asking if she can help, with Jenny instructing Karen to call the police, before asking Janine why Karen's there. Janine informs Jenny that Karen had apparently heard of the event on Twitter and wanted to attend, with Janine believing that Karen just genuinely wanted to help them out.

After everyone files out of the building, Jenny pulls a smartphone out of her pockets, hacks into NASA, and begins broadcasting an SOS, which she hopes will hit a multiversal nexus and spread it to other universes, as well as the Infinite if they're "incredibly lucky", noting that although the local Illuminati may be "the home—grown, garden variety", she probably wouldn't be able to take on the "Interdimensional Illuminati". After Janine expresses confusion, Jenny simply tells her "I'll explain later".

Noting that she wasn't sure where the Wonkidoodle who'd been with McDuff had gone, as well as the abilities displayed earlier by the Unknown, Jenny remarks that this isn't over. Her stomach growls, derailing her train of thought, with her asking "Before anything else — does anyone have any fucking chocolate?".