The Inquisitor (short story)
The Inquisitor was the 24th The Blogs of Doom short story, published in 2019 in Doctor Who Magazine 542. Like other features in the series, it narrated events in the life of a minor Doctor Who TV character before and after their involvement in the Doctor's life.
In this case, the subject of writer Jonathan Morris's attention was Darkel, known only as "The Inquisitor" from The Trial of a Time Lord.
Summary[[edit] | [edit source]]
Complaining why she only has a silver pencil and not a gavel, why her seat makes it almost impossible to see the Matrix screen, and about her headpiece, the Inquisitor is informed the prosecutor and defendant are already in the court sitting in the dark. "Well, turn the lights on, let's get it over with!"
Note one: The Valeyard requests that the judicial enquiry should become a trial, with the Doctor forfeiting his life if found guilty, but it's most irregular so the Inquisitor refuses. He points out, though, that it will not be "the trial... of a Time Lord" and she tells him it's an "independent enquiry into the conduct of a Time Lord." The Doctor suggests it becomes a cheese and wine party, but the Inquisitor reminds him he's on trial for his life...
Note two: Viewing the evidence is becoming intolerable due to constant interruptions. The Valeyard adds gratuitous "epistopic breaks" at moments of tension. As such, the Inquisitor wishes she could view the evidence without interruptions, possibly with additional sequences not included in the origianl submission, as it would be a far more satisfying experience, but at the current pace will probably take weeks if not months to get through the whole thing.
Note three: The Inquisitor is concerned that portions of the Matrix evidence have been redacted on order of the High Council, as she cannot conduct a proper and searching enquiry without full access to the evidence. She's also concerned that only one word was excised from the sentence "The Sleepers found their way into the ------, the biggest net of information in the universe, the Time Lords' data bank on Gallifrey."
Note four: Once again the Inquisitor has to reprimand both the Doctor and Valeyard for their outbursts and banter. She reminds the Doctor to address the prosecuting council by his proper title, and not as "the lanyard."
Note five: The Doctor again questions the veracity of the Matrix, saying "that's not me!" The Valeyard says "Oh yes it is," and the Doctor says "Oh no it isn't!" and the Inquisitor intervenes before they start consulting the jury.
Note six: The Doctor presents evidence from his future, which the Inquisitor doesn't quite understand as it means he will know everything that is going to happen when he has that adventure. While he won't narrate the whole thing, he does set the scene, and she kindly asks him to shut up.
Note seven: It turns out the Matrix was tampered with, and the trial/independent enquiry was set up by the High Council to scapegoat the Doctor, while the Valeyard is really a future incarnation trying to steal the Doctor's future incarnations. The Inquisitor dismisses all charges and needs to go lie down in a dark room for an hour or so.
Characters[[edit] | [edit source]]
Worldbuilding[[edit] | [edit source]]
- With all the technology at their disposal, the Inquisitor is annoyed she has to take notes by hand.
- The Valeyard accidentally calls the Inquisitor "your hotness," before quickly correcting to "your honour."
- The Doctor accuses the Matrix of giving him "an extra chin" while the Valeyard claims the Doctor's hair is a perm.
Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]
- The story pokes fun at many elements of the serial, including set design, length, and writing.
- The Inquisitor notes the mistaken belief that 'Valeyard' is a real word meaning 'Doctor of Law,' but it isn't.
Continuity[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Highlights of the Doctor's trial are recounted. (TV: The Trial of a Time Lord)
