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+{{ImageLinkShortStory}}
-{{Infobox Story
+{{Infobox Story SMW
-|image          =
+|image          = The Doctor's Guide to 2012.jpg
-|doctor         =
+|doctor         = Eleventh Doctor
 |companions     =
 |writer         =
 |artist         =
-|release date   = [[13 January (releases)|13 January]] [[2011 (releases)|2011]]
+|release date   = 13 January 2011
-|cover date     = [[29 December (releases)|29 December]] [[2011 (releases)|2011]] - [[4 January (releases)|4 January]] [[2012 (releases)|2012]]
+|cover date     = 29 December 2011 - 4 January 2012
 |publication    = [[DWA 249]]
+|publisher      = Immediate Media Company
+|citation series = ''[[Doctor Who Adventures]]''
+|series         = ''[[Doctor Who Adventures]]'' [[category:Doctor Who Adventures prose fiction|prose fiction]]
 }}
-'''''The Doctor's Guide to 2012''''' is a meta-fictional short story printed in [[DWA 249]]. The story is presented as an in-universe, month-by-month rundown from the [[Eleventh Doctor]] of events of the, from the reader's perspective, the upcoming year.
+'''''The Doctor's Guide to 2012''''' is a meta-fictional short story printed in [[DWA 249]]. The story is presented as an in-universe, month-by-month rundown from the [[Eleventh Doctor]] of events of the, from the reader's perspective, [[2012|upcoming year]].
 == Summary ==
-=== January ===
+In [[January]], [[Earth]] is set to be invaded by [[tiny horse]]s from outer space - so tiny, in fact, that nobody other than the Doctor would notice them. The creatures would return home happy after the Doctor gave them some tiny [[sugar]] lumps.
-''Wow! [[2012]]! Look at it there, all shiny and new. And [[cold]]! Shiny and new and cold and full of '''[[tiny horse]]s from outer space.''' Yes, [[January]] sees [[Earth]] invaded by horses so tiddly that no one notices. Except me, of course. I give them some tiny [[sugar]] lumps and they go home very happy.''
-=== February ===
+The usually-rubbish month of [[February]] would be "absolutely brilliant" because, for reasons [[scientist]] cannot explain, the entire month smells faintly of [[blackcurrant]], except in [[Doncaster]], where everything goes a lovely shade of [[Orange (colour)|orange]].
-''Bah! [[February]] is a rubbish month! Except in 2012, when it is absolutely BRILLIANT! For reasons [[scientist]]s are unable to explain, the whole month [[smell]]s faintly of '''[[blackcurrant]]''', except in [[Doncaster]], where everything goes a lovely shade of [[Orange (colour)|orange]].''
-=== March ===
+In [[March]], a [[meteor (The Doctor's Guide to 2012)|meteor]] in the exact shape of [[Dermot O'Leary (in-universe)|Dermot O'Leary]]'s face comes dangerously close to Earth. It burns up in the [[atmosphere]] until it is no bigger than a [[pea]] that looks just like [[Davina McCall (in-universe)|Davina McCall]].
-''A [[meteor]] in the exact shape of '''[[Dermot O'Leary (in-universe)|Dermot O'Leary]]'s [[face]]''' comes dangerously close to Earth in [[March]], but burns up in the atmosphere until it is no bigger than a [[pea]] that looks just like [[Davina McCall]]. Spooky!
+[[April]] looks to be the most uneventful month in recorded history, until a Talking [[dog|talking dog]] predicts the end of the world in [[May]].
+May would instead turn out to be a normal month, apart from the talking dogs, which are "suddenly everywhere".
+[[11 June]] saw a huge [[Dalek]] invasion fleet land at the [[CERN]] [[nuclear]] [[laboratory]] in [[Switzerland]]. Before the Doctor could turn up to "give them what for", the scientists there accidentally create a [[black hole]] swallows up all the Daleks, as well as half of [[France]]. "Told you so", says a passing dog.
+[[July]] is when the [[2012 Olympics|Olympics]] take place, with lots of people doing "runny, jumpy, throwy things" despite not even being chased by monsters. It would at least turn out to be good practice for escaping an outbreak of [[Man-eating toaster|man-eating toasters]] at the end of the month.
+The big [[fashion]] craze in [[August]] is clothes made out of [[fish]], after [[Lady Gaga]] accidentally spills a [[tuna sandwich]] all down her front. Otherwise, [[bow tie]]s are still cool, just like in every other year.
+In [[September]], something "so brilliantly amazing" and "amazingly brilliant" happens that the Doctor does not want to tell the reader, as their [[head]] would "literally explode".
+In [[October]], a whole [[week]] goes missing thanks to a [[Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey|timey-wimey]] catastrophe involving the [[Silence]] and an [[angry badger]]. The lost week is later found in [[North Wales]], where the [[Man (The Doctor's Guide to 2012)|one man]] who lived through it describes it as "[[rain]]y".
+The Doctor warns readers not to go [[swimming]] in [[November]], unless they want to get eaten by "great big [[Alien sea monster (The Doctor's Guide to 2012)|alien sea monsters]], who have come to Earth for a relaxing [[holiday]], and humans just happen to look exactly like their favourite [[Marmite]]-flavoured [[chewing gum]].
+In [[December]], the Doctor wishes the reader a "[[Merry Christmas]]", and remarks how it's easy to get the years mixed up when you are a [[Time Lord]], before talking about how, earlier that day, he wrote a guide to 2012, only to realise he had accidentally written the whole thing about [[2013]] instead.
+== Worldbuilding ==
 ''to be added''
-== Worldbuilding ==
+== Notes ==
+''to be added''
+== Continuity ==
 ''to be added''
 {{DWA Prose}}
+{{TitleSort}}
 [[Category:2011 short stories]]
 [[Category:Doctor Who Adventures prose fiction]]
 [[Category:2011 short stories]]