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{{Infobox Object
{{retitle|''Roland Rat: The Series Series 1, Episode Two'' (TV story)}}
|name         = ''Doctor Who''
{{real world}}
|image         = Osgood's desktop.jpg
{{ImageLink|Untitled 1986 TV story}}
|type          = [[Science fiction]]/[[drama]] [[television]] series
{{Infobox Story SMW
|origin        = [[England]]
|name                 = ''Roland Rat: The Series''
|made by      =  
|image                 = Roland Rat continuity announcement.jpg
|first        = Remembrance of the Daleks (TV story)
|season number        = Series 1 (Roland Rat: The Series)
|appearances  = {{Il|[[TV]]: ''[[In the Forest of the Night (TV story)|In the Forest of the Night]]''|[[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]''|[[PROSE]]: ''[[The Terror of the Umpty Ums (short story)|The Terror of the Umpty Ums]]''|[[PROSE]]: ''[[Verity (short story)|Verity]]''}}
|series episode number = 2
|main character        = [[Roland Rat]]
|featuring            = [[Sixth Doctor]], [[Ron Rat]]
|setting              = [[The Ratcave]], [[King's Cross station]], [[1986]]
|writer                = David Claridge, Colin Bostock-Smith, John Cangoon, Sean Carton, David Tomlinson
|director              = [[Marcus Mortimer]]
|producer              = [[Marcus Mortimer]]
|broadcast date        = 13 September 1986
|format                = 1x25 minute episode
|genre                = Comedy
|fullvid              =
|series                = [[Roland Rat: The Series (series)|''Roland Rat'': ''The Series'']]
}}
}}
{{Dab page|Doctor Who (disambiguation)}}
The '''second episode'''{{note|Documentation of the series is scarce online, with the appearance of the Sixth Doctor not even being noted on many television listing pages. This Wiki has instead found that the performance of [[Curiosity Killed The Cat]] within this episode is attributed to episode 2 by several sources, so the Wiki has identified the episode as such.}} of the [[Series 1 (Roland Rat: The Series)|first series]] of [[Roland Rat: The Series (series)|''Roland Rat'': ''The Series'']] produced by the [[BBC]],<ref name="bbcgenome">[https://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/schedules/service_bbc_one_london/1986-09-13 Programme Index 13/09/1986 on genome.ch.bbc.co.uk]</ref><ref name="TVDB">[https://www.thetvdb.com/series/roland-rat-the-series/allseasons/official ''Roland Rat: The Series - Aired Order'' on TVDB]</ref> sometimes mistakenly identified as the third,<ref name="Qsulis">[http://www.qsulis.org.uk/Website_Louise_Gold/Roland_Rat.htm ''Roland Rat'' on Qsulis]</ref> was broadcast on [[13 September (releases)|13 September]] [[1986 (releases)|1986]].<ref name="bbcgenome" /><ref name="TVDB" /><ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20211005034053/https://millenniumeffect.co.uk/index.php/from-the-vaults-colin-baker-era/ ''From the Vaults: Colin Baker Era'' on millenniumeffect.co.uk]</ref> The episode was notable for being a [[crossover]] with ''[[Doctor Who (TV series)|Doctor Who]]''; it starred [[Colin Baker]] as the [[Sixth Doctor]] presenting continuity announcements for the [[Roland Rat: The Series|in-universe series]], as the series was shown to be a show-within-a-show.
'''''Doctor Who''''' was a [[BBC]] [[science fiction]]/[[drama]] [[TV series (Remembrance of the Daleks)|series]] that premiered in late [[1963]].  


The series oriented around the adventures of the eponymous time traveller, commonly referred to as "the Doctor".
==Plot==
The [[Sixth Doctor]] disdainfully introduces an episode of [[BBC3]]'s ''[[Roland Rat: The Series]]'', and then proceeds to inanely cry out "Yeeeaaah!" — Roland Rat's catchphrase.


== History ==
Entering [[the Ratcave]], [[Roland Rat]] enquires to [[Maureen (Roland Rat: The Series)|Maureen]] if there have been any [[telephone]] calls. Maureen answers in the positive, but when asked if she had written it down, it is revealed that she only wrote the number of telephone calls down, not the actual substance of the calls.


=== Development ===
[[Kevin the Gerbil]] enters and asks if Roland has the [[ratings]] for [[Roland Rat: The Series Series 1 Episode 1|the previous episode]]. Roland asks Maureen to hand him the very important [[blue]] [[envelope]], but it is revealed that she has deposited it in the [[Bin|rubbish bin]]. It is revealed that [[7438000]] people were watching. It is further revealed that Kevin has, in fact, read out the [[BBC (in-universe)|BBC]]'s [[telephone number]], and that the actual number of people watching was [[20000000 (number)|20 million]]. This fact is celebrated by all present, until Roland realises that 20 million viewers is actually a very small number, proclaiming that "even [[EastEnders]] got more than that!". Maureen says that she never misses an episode of EastEnders, to which Roland tells her to shut up. [[D'Arcy De Farcey]] says that "the whole world is obsessed with [[Soap opera|soap operas]]", at which Roland decides that they are now a soap opera.
After becoming too well recognised [[The Doctor in Earth history|in Earth history]], [[the Doctor]] presumably had retconned themselves into [[The Doctor in popular culture and mythology#On Earth|popular culture]]; ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Afterword (short story)|Afterword]]'') subsequently, on the [[26 March|26th of March]], [[1963]], [[Winston Churchill]] sent a letter a [[Newman (Stop, Thief!)|Mr Newman]], to pitch the concept of a show about Churchill's old friend, the Doctor. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Stop, Thief! (short story)|Stop, Thief!]]'')


A young woman, [[Verity (Verity)|Verity]], went to the [[BBC]], and became the [[producer]] of the show, despite the protests of the "[[Men Who Knew What To Do]]". By standing her ground against their blatant [[sexism]], she helped the ''Doctor Who'' series flourish with her creative ideas. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Verity (short story)|Verity]]'')
D'Arcy De Farcey, who is [[boo|booed]] by [[Audience (Roland Rat: The Series)|the crowd]] as he walks on stage, then proceeds to introduce Roland Rat (whom he wrongly calls Raynard), and Roland comes on stage. He welcomes them to [[the Ratcave]], and a [[train]] goes overhead, as they are underneath [[King's Cross station]]. He then says what's going to happen later on in the show, and introduces [[Cooking with a moron|their cooking slot]], presented by Maureen.  


=== In the 20th century ===
[[File:Secrets of the World's Greatest Chefs.jpg|thumb|D'Arcy De Farcy's book.]]
[[File:Remembrance Who.jpg|thumb|The series on [[Mrs Smith]]'s television. ([[TV]]: ''[[Remembrance of the Daleks (TV story)|Remembrance of the Daleks]]'')]]
Maureen begins to introduce the slot, but is interrupted by D'Arcy De Farcey, who wants to promote his new book, [[D'Arcy De Farcey's Secrets of the World's Greatest Chefs]]. He manages to sell several copies, before it is revealed that the book is in fact, completely blank. Maureen believes that it is entirely blank because they're secrets. Maureen says that what she is cooking is a surprise, then is surprised by a [[custard pie]] in the face from [[Ron Rat]], aimed at [[Errol the Hamster]].
A BBC science fiction series beginning ''Doc-'' was first broadcast on [[BBC television|television]] at 5:15 [[PM|pm]] on [[Saturday]] [[30 November|30th of November]], 1963. ([[TV]]: ''[[Remembrance of the Daleks (TV story)|Remembrance of the Daleks]]'', [[PROSE]]: ''[[Who Killed Kennedy (novel)|Who Killed Kennedy]]'')


One serial would receive a [[Target Books (Bafflement and Devotion)|novelisation]], called "''[[Doctor Who in an Exciting Adventure with the Daleks]]''", which contradicted another novelisation. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Bafflement and Devotion (short story)|Bafflement and Devotion]]'')
Roland Rat then proceeds to introduce [[Curiosity Killed the Cat (in-universe)|Curiosity Killed the Cat]], who play their song [[Misfit]].  


In [[1974]], an episode of the series aired, portraying the regeneration of [[Third Doctor]] into his next incarnation, the [[Fourth Doctor]]. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Fanboys (short story)|Fanboys]]'')
Kevin then informs Roland that there are more ratings, and that [[4 (number)|four]] out of [[5 (number)|five]] people in [[China]] watch the show. A supposed "special message of thanks and support" in Chinese, as arranged by Kevin, goes up on the screen. It is then revealed that they have accidentally ordered [[Chinese (food)|Chinese takeaway]].


In [[1978]], [[Iris Wildthyme#Jane Fonda Iris|Iris Wildthyme]] was sent by [[The Ministry (Femme Fatale)|the Ministry]] to investigate [[Geoff Love]] as the Ministry suspected of secreting in subliminal messages into his reworkings of TV sci-fi themes. Iris helped Geoff develop the [[Doctor Who theme (Bafflement and Devotion)|''Doctor Who'' theme]] while proving that the Ministry was indeed correct with their suspicions. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Bafflement and Devotion (short story)|Bafflement and Devotion]]'')
[[Iris Rat|Iris]] and [[Freddy Rat|Freddy]], Roland's parents, sit on [[Bench (Roland Rat: The Series Series One Episode Two)|a bench]] in [[Park (Roland Rat the Series Series One Episode Two)|a park]]. Iris and Freddie then complain about Roland Rat going "Yeeeeaaah!" all the time. Iris wonders where he gets it from, then realises that Freddy does it as well. Freddy then protests that he does not, in fact go "Yeeeaaah!" but instead "Yay". Iris then wonders why Roland Rat is a [[superstar]], because he doesn't dance or sing or juggle or anything else that could conceivably be construed as things that a superstar would do. She then goes on to conclude that Roland is a superstar because he goes "Yeeeaaah!", and that Freddy too can be a superstar if he goes "Yeeeaaah!". He attempts to go "Yeeeaaah!" but fails, and Iris tells him disappointedly that he isn't a superstar.


Prior to [[1981]], serials known as ''[[The Seeds of Doom]]'', ''[[State of Decay]]'', ''[[Planet of the Spiders]]'', and and unnamed serial aired,  the latter of which depicted the Fourth Doctor's regeneration into the [[Fifth Doctor]], who was set to return in the following season. By this time, the [[Wirrn]], [[Zarbi]], [[Sontaran]]s, [[Krynoid]]s, [[Zygon]]s, [[Mechanoid]]s, [[Yeti]], and the [[Brain]] of [[Morbius]] all had been featured in the show, serving the role of the villains.
Roland Rat, back in the Ratcave, concludes that his parents are slightly embarrassing, and says that it's time for the new soap opera. Acting as their [[Official soap adviser]] is [[Wendy Richard (in-universe)|Wendy Richard]] from [[EastEnders]], who knows all about soap through working in a laundrette, whom Roland interviews.  


In early 1981, [[David Taylor (Imaginary Boys)|David]] and [[Chris (Fanboys)|Chris]] were major fans of the series. They obsessed over the series, and when they went to [[Darlington]] on a semi-regular basis, they would treated by their parents, who took them into [[WHSmith]]'s to buy [[Target Books (Bafflement and Devotion)|Target novelisations]] of ''Doctor Who'' stories. On one such occasion, they bought copies of ''[[State of Decay (book)|State of Decay]]'' and ''[[Planet of the Spiders (book)|Planet of the Spiders]]''. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Fanboys (short story)|Fanboys]]'')
[[File:RatEnders title card.jpg|thumb|RatEnders.]]
The new soap opera, [[RatEnders]], starts. Roland Rat asks [[Glenys the Guinea Pig]] to try and speak with a cockney accent, which she fails to do. In character, she then tells Roland that he is a mean and dreadful husband, as he is always looking at other guinea pigs. He, again in-character, replies that he is very cruel and ruthless, but fails to confirm that he looks at other guinea pigs, saying instead that other guinea pigs look at him because he is so handsome. He then tells Glenys to have a drink on the house, which [[Little Reggie]] misinterprets, and sprays drinks all over everyone. Errol then enters, asking if he's in it. Roland replies that he is, because they ''have'' to have customers. Errol notes that there aren't many in at the moment, to which Roland replies that they can't afford the extras, and that Errol will have to play a grumpy old man. Errol is worried that he won't be able to play a grumpy old man, at which Roland replies that he has great faith in Errol's acting abilities, and tells him that he'll have to have a [[cockney]] accent, which Errol tries and fails to do. Maureen, playing [[Glenda Jackson]], notes that she can do a good cockney accent, at which the others object that she can't act. She says she can, and that she could play one of Roland's girlfriends, at which Roland objects, saying she isn't pretty enough, and says that she can play the beermat. Little Reggie, at Roland's behest, then sprays her with beer. Kevin then objects to playing a pregnant woman, at which Roland notes that somebody has to be pregnant, and [[Colin the Flea]] assures Kevin that he thinks that he's very attractive. Errol notes that it's very boring, and asks if anything ever happens in the soap opera, at which Roland notes that nothing ever happens in any of the others. Roland tells Glenys to have another nag at him, which she does. She tells him that she's fed up of him looking at other women, at which Roland, in-character objects that he doesn't even know any other women, at which several young women enter the pub. Glenys, still in-character, tells Dirty Roland that she is leaving him. Errol, somewhat bored, leaves as well. Kevin partially in-character, says that he'd better go off to have his baby. Little Reggie then sprays the young girls, and RatEnders ends.


In the late [[1990s]], an unspecified incarnation of the character was portrayed by [[Paul McGann (Hospitality)|Paul McGann]] in the [[Doctor Who TV movie|''Doctor Who'' TV movie]]. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Hospitality (short story)|Hospitality]]'')
Roland asks Wendy Richard what she thought of his acting ability, and, when she gives it a "0", he threatens her, so she changes it to a "10". Roland then says that it's the end of the show, thanks Richards, and the audience cheers.  


=== In the 21st century ===
After the credits, Roland notes that it was a brilliant show, and that RatEnders was a great idea of his. He imagines that the ratings will have gone right up, at which D'Arcy De Farcy reveals that, according to the [[preliminary audience reaction]], everybody but one viewer had switched off, at which the solitary viewer switches off. Roland Rat notes that the reason RatEnders was a failure was due to everyone's bad acting. Kevin the Gerbil is then carried out by some [[paramedic]]s, who believe that he is actually having a [[baby]].
Around the early [[2000s]], [[Paul Magrs (Bafflement and Devotion)|Paul Magrs]] wrote in a short [[Prose piece (Bafflement and Devotion)|piece of prose]] about his books and inspritations. In this piece, he stated that the [[Second Doctor|second]] and [[Fourth Doctor|fourth]] incarnations of the Doctor resembled [[Patrick Troughton (Bafflement and Devotion)|Patrick Troughton]] and [[Tom Baker (Bafflement and Devotion)|Tom Baker]], respectively. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Bafflement and Devotion (short story)|Bafflement and Devotion]]'')


By the [[21st century]], [[Cybermen]], [[Weeping Angel]]s, [[Sontaran]]s and [[Slitheen family|Slitheen]] had appeared. [[David Karpagnon]], an [[orphan]] with [[dissociative personality disorder]], watched the show around this time. The Doctor helped him with his problems from inside his head. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[The Terror of the Umpty Ums (short story)|The Terror of the Umpty Ums]]'')
[[File:Sixth Doctor is prodded with a pole.jpg|thumb|The Sixth Doctor is rudely awakened.]]
After the episode finishes, the Doctor is [[sleep|awoken]] by the prodding of a [[pole]]. He recaps the audience on what they had been watching, and then excitedly tells them to switch over to [[BBC television|BBC1]] to watch ''[[Doctor Who (N-Space)|Doctor Who]]'', which he refers to as "''the'' series". [[Ron Rat]] jumps up, calling ''Doctor Who'' "rubbish" — an act for which the Doctor attempts to murder Ron, using a ray-gun he just happens to have on his person. Fortunately for Ron, the Doctor is a lousy shot.


[[File:Doctor Who bus.jpg|thumb|A poster on a [[double decker bus]] in [[2014]]. ([[TV]]: ''[[In the Forest of the Night (TV story)|In the Forest of the Night]]'')|left]]
== Cast==
In [[November]] [[2014]], ([[PROSE]]: "[[The Time Lord Letters (novel)|Assessing the Risk]]") when the [[Earth]] became overgrown with [[tree]]s, a [[double decker bus]] had an [[advertisement]] on its side, depicting [[The Doctor's TARDIS|the TARDIS]] and individuals closely resembling the [[Twelfth Doctor]] and [[Clara Oswald]]. An unknown source rated the show four stars out of five commenting "A-MAZE-ING ENTERTAINMENT!". ([[TV]]: ''[[In the Forest of the Night (TV story)|In the Forest of the Night]]'')
*[[Sixth Doctor]] - [[Colin Baker]]
*[[Maureen (Roland Rat: The Series)|Maureen]] - [[Anna Karen]]
*[[D'Arcy De Farcey]] - [[James Saxon]]
*[[Ben Volpeliere-Pierrot (in-universe)|Ben Volpeliere-Pierrot]] - [[Ben Volpeliere-Pierrot|himself]]
*[[Julian Godfrey Brookhouse (in-universe)|Julian Godfrey Brookhouse]] - [[Julian Godfrey Brookhouse|himself]]
*[[Nick Thorpe (in-universe)|Nick Thorpe]] - [[Nick Thorpe|himself]]
*[[Migi Drummond (in-universe)|Migi Drummond]] - [[Migi Drummond|himself]]
*[[Wendy Richard (in-universe)|Wendy Richard]] - [[Wendy Richard|herself]]
*Voice of [[Roland Rat]], [[Ron Rat]], [[Kevin the Gerbil]], [[Errol the Hamster]], [[Little Reggie]], [[Fergie the Ferret]], [[Glenis the Guinea Pig]], [[Colin the Flea]], [[Iris Rat|Iris]] and [[Freddy Rat|Freddy]] - [[David Claridge]] {{fact}}


Around [[October]] of [[2015]], the [[Doctor Who Series 9|ninth series]] of the show was broadcast on [[BBC One#In the DWU|BBC One]], starring another unspecified incarnation, who travelled with a companion called [[Clara#Legacy|Clara]]; the [[Twelfth Doctor|twelfth incarnation]] of the Doctor bore a great similarity to this fictional depiction, and the same could be said about [[Clara Oswald]]. ([[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'')
==Crew==
*[[Puppeteer]]s - [[Louise Gold]], [[Anne Prior]], [[Leslie Herbert]], [[Maggie Danylewycz]], [[Darryl Worbey]], [[John Blundall]]
*[[Writer]] - [[David Claridge]], [[Colin Bostock-Smith]], [[John Cangoon]], [[Sean Carton]], [[David Tomlinson]]
*[[Director]] - [[Marcus Mortimer]] {{fact}}
*[[Producer]] - [[Marcus Mortimer]] {{fact}}
*[[Music]] - [[Matt Aitken]], [[Mike Stock]], [[Pete Waterman]]
*[[Cameraman]] - [[Dave Grey]]
*[[Sound recordist]] - [[Doug Mawson]]
*[[Film editor]] - [[Nick Hutchings]]
*[[Properties buyer]] - [[Bob Warans]]
*[[Graphic design]] - [[Iain Greenway]], [[Simon Everson]]
*[[Vision effects designer]] - [[Malcolm James]]
*[[Camera supervisor]] - [[Spencer Payne]]
*[[Technical co-ordinator|Technical Co-ordinators]] - [[Jeff Jeffery]], [[Terry Wild]]
*[[Vision mixer|Vision Mixer]] - [[Angela Beveridge]]
*[[Videotape editor|VT Editors]] - [[Peter Bird]], [[Mykola Pawlock]]
*[[Make-up designer]] - [[Cecile Hay-Arthur]]
*[[Costume designer]] - [[Ken Trew]]
*[[Production assistant]] - [[Claire Sharp]]
*[[Assistant floor manager]] - [[Simon Spencer]]
*[[Sound department|Sound]] - [[Bob Foley]], [[Len Shorey]]
*[[Lighting]] - [[Henry Barber]], [[Graham Aimmington]]
*[[Production manager]] - [[Nick Fiveash]]
*[[Designer]] - [[Grenville Horner]], [[Donal Woods]]
*[[Executive producer]] - [[Michael Hurll]]


[[File:Osgood's desktop.jpg|thumb|Osgood's desktop. ([[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'')]]
==References==
By [[2020]], the show had 12 series and 167 episodes that were available on [[BBC iPlayer]]. The [[Doctor Who Series 9|ninth series]] appeared to include episodes such as ''[[The Magician's Apprentice]]'', ''[[The Witch's Familiar]]'', ''[[Under the Lake]]'', ''[[Before the Flood]]'', ''[[The Girl Who Died]]'', ''[[The Woman Who Lived]]'', ''[[The Zygon Invasion]]'', ''[[The Zygon Inversion]]'', ''[[Sleep No More]]'', ''[[Face the Raven]]'', and ''[[Heaven Sent]]''. There also existed at some point an episode titled ''[[The Day of the Doctor]]''.
*The Doctor compares the [[Dalek]], [[Cybermen]], and even "[[Terry Wogan (Roland Rat: The Series)|Wogan]] from the planet [[Shepherd's Bush (planet)|Shepherd's Bush]]" and [[green slimy things]] to ''Roland Rat: The Series''.
*According to [[Kevin the Gerbil]], there are [[4684356738 (number)|4,684,356,738]] people in the world.
*[[D'Arcy De Farcey]] considers [[Roland Rat]] to be "a legend in his own lifetime", and one of the most caring, sensitive [[performer]]s he knows, apart from [[Bob Monkhouse]].
*[[Wendy Richard (in-universe)|Wendy Richard]] believes that the secret to a good [[soap opera]] is having someone like her in it.
*Roland Rat never misses an episode of [[EastEnders]].  
*[[Fergie the Ferret]] cannot stand a cheap [[opening title sequence]].
*According to several individuals, nothing ever happens in EastEnders.


On [[10 May]], 2020, the two [[Osgood]]s conversed over [[Zoom]]. Afterwards, one of the duo went onto [[BBC iPlayer]] after ending the chat, scrolling past several episodes of ''Doctor Who'' from series nine, until she decided to watch ''The Zygon Invasion''. ([[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'')
==Notes==
* The story was broadcast in conjunction with ''[[The Trial of a Time Lord (TV story)|The Trial of a Time Lord]]'', with the Doctor wearing his stripy waistcoat and yellow star-speckled necktie from ''[[Terror of the Vervoids (TV story)|Terror of the Vervoids]]''.
*The entirety of the episode takes place in a then-fictional [[BBC Three (in-universe)|BBC Three]], despite the series actually airing on BBC One.  
*[[RatEnders]] is a parody of [[EastEnders]].


By [[2020]], the Doctor was portrayed by a [[Jodie Whittaker (The Zygon Isolation)|female actress]]. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[The Terror of the Umpty Ums (short story)|The Terror of the Umpty Ums]]'', [[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'')
==Continuity==
*This story is not the first to depict the ''Doctor Who'' series [[Doctor Who (in-universe)|existing in-universe]], having been depicted in [[Doctor Who (in-universe)/Appearances|in many sources]] released both before and after this episode.


== Characters ==
==Footnotes==
=== The Doctor ===
===Notes===
While appearing to simply be a fictional character to the general populace of Britain, ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Afterword (short story)|Afterword]]'', ''[[Fanboys (short story)|Fanboys]]'', ''[[Hospitality (short story)|Hospitality]]'', ''[[The Terror of the Umpty Ums (short story)|The Terror of the Umpty Ums]]'') there were individuals who knew that the Doctor was real, ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Bafflement and Devotion (short story)|Bafflement and Devotion]]'', [[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'', et al) although this feat wasn't exactly ''difficult''. ([[COMIC]]: ''[[Action in Exile (comic story)|Action in Exile]]'', [[TV]]: ''[[Rose (TV story)|Rose]]'', ''[[Love & Monsters (TV story)|Love & Monsters]]'', et al)
{{Notelist}}


The Doctor was also referred to as "Doctor Who", ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Hospitality (short story)|Hospitality]]'') and had at least seven known incarnations. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Fanboys (short story)|Fanboys]]'', ''[[Hospitality (short story)|Hospitality]]'', [[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'')
===Sources===
{{reflist}}
{{DWU Doctor Who stories}}


=== Clara ===
[[:Category:Stories that crossover with non-DWU series]]
The only named companion was Clara, a young, brunette woman. She appeared in the ninth series of the show, ([[WC]]: ''[[The Zygon Isolation (webcast)|The Zygon Isolation]]'') and bore a remarkable similarity to [[Clara Oswald]]. ([[TV]]: ''[[The Bells of Saint John (TV story)|The Bells of Saint John]]'', et al)
[[:Category:1986 television stories]]
 
[[:Category:Sixth Doctor television stories]]
== Alternate accounts ==
[[:Category:Stories about Doctor Who]]
While many accounts support the Doctor having a near identical fictional counterpart, other sources, while similar in nature, show distinguishable accounts.
 
{{Main|The Time Surgeon}}
A couple of accounts show that there was an [[comic book]] series, ''[[Time Surgeon]]'', about the titular [[The Time Surgeon|Time Surgeon]] and his companion [[Kara (Invasion of the Mindmorphs)|Kara]], who travel in a flat pack [[wardrobe]]; ([[COMIC]]: ''[[The Fourth Wall (comic story)|The Fourth Wall]]'', ''[[Invasion of the Mindmorphs (comic story)|Invasion of the Mindmorphs]]'') curiously, while the Doctor is shown to be aware of the series based around his own adventures in time and space, ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Bafflement and Devotion (short story)|Bafflement and Devotion]]'', [[TV]]: ''[[In the Forest of the Night (TV story)|In the Forest of the Night]]'') the Twelfth Doctor is baffled by the existence of ''Time Surgeon''. ([[COMIC]]: ''[[The Fourth Wall (comic story)|The Fourth Wall]]'', ''[[Invasion of the Mindmorphs (comic story)|Invasion of the Mindmorphs]]'')
 
{{Main|Doctor X}}
Without interaction from the Doctor, a series known as ''[[Doctor X]]'' was first aired in around the same time as ''Doctor Who''. The series centred around the titular character. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[In Search of Doctor X (short story)|In Search of Doctor X]]'')
 
{{Main|Professor X}}
Established by around a dozen of accounts, another series with an extremely similar title to ''Doctor X'', ''[[Professor X]]'' was aired on BBC One at the '''''exact same time and date''''' as ''Doctor Who'', creating two very irreconcilable accounts of the series about the Doctor. ([[AUDIO]]: ''[[An Unearthly Woman (audio story)|An Unearthly Woman]]'', [[PROSE]]: ''[[No Future (novel)|No Future]]'', et al.)

Latest revision as of 22:16, 25 February 2024

RealWorld.png

The second episode[nb 1] of the first series of Roland Rat: The Series produced by the BBC,[1][2] sometimes mistakenly identified as the third,[3] was broadcast on 13 September 1986.[1][2][4] The episode was notable for being a crossover with Doctor Who; it starred Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor presenting continuity announcements for the in-universe series, as the series was shown to be a show-within-a-show.

Plot[[edit] | [edit source]]

The Sixth Doctor disdainfully introduces an episode of BBC3's Roland Rat: The Series, and then proceeds to inanely cry out "Yeeeaaah!" — Roland Rat's catchphrase.

Entering the Ratcave, Roland Rat enquires to Maureen if there have been any telephone calls. Maureen answers in the positive, but when asked if she had written it down, it is revealed that she only wrote the number of telephone calls down, not the actual substance of the calls.

Kevin the Gerbil enters and asks if Roland has the ratings for the previous episode. Roland asks Maureen to hand him the very important blue envelope, but it is revealed that she has deposited it in the rubbish bin. It is revealed that 7438000 people were watching. It is further revealed that Kevin has, in fact, read out the BBC's telephone number, and that the actual number of people watching was 20 million. This fact is celebrated by all present, until Roland realises that 20 million viewers is actually a very small number, proclaiming that "even EastEnders got more than that!". Maureen says that she never misses an episode of EastEnders, to which Roland tells her to shut up. D'Arcy De Farcey says that "the whole world is obsessed with soap operas", at which Roland decides that they are now a soap opera.

D'Arcy De Farcey, who is booed by the crowd as he walks on stage, then proceeds to introduce Roland Rat (whom he wrongly calls Raynard), and Roland comes on stage. He welcomes them to the Ratcave, and a train goes overhead, as they are underneath King's Cross station. He then says what's going to happen later on in the show, and introduces their cooking slot, presented by Maureen.

D'Arcy De Farcy's book.

Maureen begins to introduce the slot, but is interrupted by D'Arcy De Farcey, who wants to promote his new book, D'Arcy De Farcey's Secrets of the World's Greatest Chefs. He manages to sell several copies, before it is revealed that the book is in fact, completely blank. Maureen believes that it is entirely blank because they're secrets. Maureen says that what she is cooking is a surprise, then is surprised by a custard pie in the face from Ron Rat, aimed at Errol the Hamster.

Roland Rat then proceeds to introduce Curiosity Killed the Cat, who play their song Misfit.

Kevin then informs Roland that there are more ratings, and that four out of five people in China watch the show. A supposed "special message of thanks and support" in Chinese, as arranged by Kevin, goes up on the screen. It is then revealed that they have accidentally ordered Chinese takeaway.

Iris and Freddy, Roland's parents, sit on a bench in a park. Iris and Freddie then complain about Roland Rat going "Yeeeeaaah!" all the time. Iris wonders where he gets it from, then realises that Freddy does it as well. Freddy then protests that he does not, in fact go "Yeeeaaah!" but instead "Yay". Iris then wonders why Roland Rat is a superstar, because he doesn't dance or sing or juggle or anything else that could conceivably be construed as things that a superstar would do. She then goes on to conclude that Roland is a superstar because he goes "Yeeeaaah!", and that Freddy too can be a superstar if he goes "Yeeeaaah!". He attempts to go "Yeeeaaah!" but fails, and Iris tells him disappointedly that he isn't a superstar.

Roland Rat, back in the Ratcave, concludes that his parents are slightly embarrassing, and says that it's time for the new soap opera. Acting as their Official soap adviser is Wendy Richard from EastEnders, who knows all about soap through working in a laundrette, whom Roland interviews.

RatEnders.

The new soap opera, RatEnders, starts. Roland Rat asks Glenys the Guinea Pig to try and speak with a cockney accent, which she fails to do. In character, she then tells Roland that he is a mean and dreadful husband, as he is always looking at other guinea pigs. He, again in-character, replies that he is very cruel and ruthless, but fails to confirm that he looks at other guinea pigs, saying instead that other guinea pigs look at him because he is so handsome. He then tells Glenys to have a drink on the house, which Little Reggie misinterprets, and sprays drinks all over everyone. Errol then enters, asking if he's in it. Roland replies that he is, because they have to have customers. Errol notes that there aren't many in at the moment, to which Roland replies that they can't afford the extras, and that Errol will have to play a grumpy old man. Errol is worried that he won't be able to play a grumpy old man, at which Roland replies that he has great faith in Errol's acting abilities, and tells him that he'll have to have a cockney accent, which Errol tries and fails to do. Maureen, playing Glenda Jackson, notes that she can do a good cockney accent, at which the others object that she can't act. She says she can, and that she could play one of Roland's girlfriends, at which Roland objects, saying she isn't pretty enough, and says that she can play the beermat. Little Reggie, at Roland's behest, then sprays her with beer. Kevin then objects to playing a pregnant woman, at which Roland notes that somebody has to be pregnant, and Colin the Flea assures Kevin that he thinks that he's very attractive. Errol notes that it's very boring, and asks if anything ever happens in the soap opera, at which Roland notes that nothing ever happens in any of the others. Roland tells Glenys to have another nag at him, which she does. She tells him that she's fed up of him looking at other women, at which Roland, in-character objects that he doesn't even know any other women, at which several young women enter the pub. Glenys, still in-character, tells Dirty Roland that she is leaving him. Errol, somewhat bored, leaves as well. Kevin partially in-character, says that he'd better go off to have his baby. Little Reggie then sprays the young girls, and RatEnders ends.

Roland asks Wendy Richard what she thought of his acting ability, and, when she gives it a "0", he threatens her, so she changes it to a "10". Roland then says that it's the end of the show, thanks Richards, and the audience cheers.

After the credits, Roland notes that it was a brilliant show, and that RatEnders was a great idea of his. He imagines that the ratings will have gone right up, at which D'Arcy De Farcy reveals that, according to the preliminary audience reaction, everybody but one viewer had switched off, at which the solitary viewer switches off. Roland Rat notes that the reason RatEnders was a failure was due to everyone's bad acting. Kevin the Gerbil is then carried out by some paramedics, who believe that he is actually having a baby.

The Sixth Doctor is rudely awakened.

After the episode finishes, the Doctor is awoken by the prodding of a pole. He recaps the audience on what they had been watching, and then excitedly tells them to switch over to BBC1 to watch Doctor Who, which he refers to as "the series". Ron Rat jumps up, calling Doctor Who "rubbish" — an act for which the Doctor attempts to murder Ron, using a ray-gun he just happens to have on his person. Fortunately for Ron, the Doctor is a lousy shot.

Cast[[edit] | [edit source]]

Crew[[edit] | [edit source]]

References[[edit] | [edit source]]

Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]

Continuity[[edit] | [edit source]]

Footnotes[[edit] | [edit source]]

Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]

  1. ↑ Documentation of the series is scarce online, with the appearance of the Sixth Doctor not even being noted on many television listing pages. This Wiki has instead found that the performance of Curiosity Killed The Cat within this episode is attributed to episode 2 by several sources, so the Wiki has identified the episode as such.

Sources[[edit] | [edit source]]

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Programme Index 13/09/1986 on genome.ch.bbc.co.uk
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 Roland Rat: The Series - Aired Order on TVDB
  3. ↑ Roland Rat on Qsulis
  4. ↑ From the Vaults: Colin Baker Era on millenniumeffect.co.uk
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