An Assassin's Lot

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"An Assassin's Lot" was a song of the Sixth Doctor's making that he sang in character as Merryweather to Sally and Evelyn Smythe. (AUDIO: Doctor Who and the Pirates)

Lyrics

When a sailor is a-sailing on the ocean, (On the ocean)
Not getting in the way of pirate plans, (Pirate plans)
We wouldn't even entertain the notion ('Tain the notion)
Of slaughtering the sailor and his clans. (And his clans)
But when he stands between us and some treasure... (And some treasure)
Then homicidal duties to be done. (To be done)
We would like to leave the sailor at his leisure... (At his leisure)
But a killer's lot is not a happy one.
Ooooooooh...
When homicidal duties to be done, (To be done)
An assassin's lot is not a happy one (Happy one)
When the honest Jackie Tar is up the rigging- (Up the rigging)
Or munching on his salmagundi feast ('Gundi feast)
We would like to leave him to his rum-a'swigging (Rum-a'swigging)
Not force him to the ranks of the deceased. (The deceased)
But when his hold is full of gold and jewellery, (Gold and jewellery)
With coins and gems and spices by the ton- (By the ton)
Then sadly we must exercise some cruelty. ('Cise some cruelty)
An assassin's lot is not a happy one.
Ooooooooh...
When homicidal duties to be done, (To be done)
An assassin's lot is not a happy one (Happy one)

Behind the scenes

"An Assassin's Lot" is an adaptation of the song "When a Felon's Not Engaged in his Employment (A Policeman's Lot)" from The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan.