Not Guilty (short story): Difference between revisions

|release date= [[22 August (releases)|22 August]] [[2019 (releases)|2019]]

'''''Not Guilty''''' was a parodical short story published in [[DWM 542]], written in the style of a television script. Thirty-three years after the infamous story arc's broadcast, it explored the ill reputation of ''[[Season 23|The Trial of a Time Lord]]'' through the fictional framework of the story itself, depicted as a sentient entity, being on trial with none other than [[the Valeyard]] as prosecutor.  

A massive 1980's house emanates a beam of light that pulls ''[[The Trial of a Time Lord (Not Guilty)|The Trial of a Time Lord]]'' inside, where it is faced with a jury of ''Doctor Who'' fans. As soon as it appears, all the fans duck behind their sofas, just in time for the appearance of a man clad in black leather — [[the Valeyard]]. After noting that the trial is held by order of ''[[Doctor Who Magazine]]'', he states the charge: that the story is in fact not very popular. ''The Trial of a TIme Lord'' immediately pleads "not guilty"; the Valeyard maintains that its popularity is not a matter of plea but a statement of fact. [[Darkel|The Inquisitor]] interrupts their row, explaining that the purpose of the trial is to examine whether this charge is justified. The Inquisitor's attempt to appoint a [[DWM Writer (Not Guilty)|DWM Writer]] to represent the Story is overruled by ''The Trial of a Time Lord'', which decides to defend itself in its own voice. This upsets the DWM Writer, although she decides to stay anyway to take notes and thus be able to print the transcript of the trial in ''Doctor Who Magazine''.  

The Valeyard barely has time to begin a speech when he is interrupted by the irate ''The Trial of a Time Lord'', who insists that the Valeyard (and, indeed, its entire audience) have had over three decades to pore over its alleged flaws, and that now is finally time for the defence. Indeed, it launches into a passionate defence of the stories' various premises, from the concept of involving the [[Sixth Doctor]] in a trial to the way that Doctor himself is written and played, noting that his relationship with [[Peri Brown|Peri]] has gotten less "tempestuous" and his friendship with [[Melanie Bush|Mel]] is outright sweet.  

The Valeyard argues this point, noting that the Doctor attempts to murder Peri in [[Part Five (Not Guilty)|Part Five]] and that if that doesn't count as tempestuous, he'd like to see what does. However, he is overruled by the Inquisitor, who explains that this attempted murder was either a Matrix fabrication, the Doctor acting because he was being watched, or something else altogether — but, at any rate, not anything that can be used to ascertain the true nature of his feelings towards Peri. ''The Trial of a Time Lord'' concurs and adds that no story is completely perfect: even ''[[City of Death (TV story)|City of Death]]'' is "only 99.99999 percent perfect", to shocked gasps from the jurors.  

It continues by stating that although the fact that part of itself was written by [[Robert Holmes]] might have been used by it as an argument of "poor health", it instead chooses to celebrate Holmes's contribution to its nature, which, despite the difficult circumstances under which the "master craftsman" was working, still contains excellent dialogue. It continues in this vein for some time until the Valeyard interrupts it, holding it to accounts for the "nightmarish treatment" of Peri in the Story's plot. The Story is initially reluctant to answer but eventually gives in and argues that Peri's death, while upsetting, is intentionally so, and as such, one of the great "scary moments" of ''Doctor Who''.  

Nearly beaten, the Valeyard weakly retorts that ''The Trial of a Time Lord'' has yet to answer the most serious accusation of all: [[carrot juice]]. The Story instead cackles that the Valeyard has fallen right in its trap, as carrot juice is in fact one of its greatest strengths, encouraging children to stay healthy ("lay aside the Sixth Doctor [[Wotsit]] packs"). This is the first the DWM Writer hears of these "Wotsit packs", and she hurries out of the courtroom to go buy some.  

''to be added''  

* An egregiously fourth-wall-breaking effort, ''Not Guilty'' parodies the structure of the Trial sequences of [[Season 23]] itself, lifting the characters of [[the Valeyard]] and [[Darkel|the Inquisitor]] from it but replacing the [[Sixth Doctor]] with ''[[The Trial of a Time Lord (Not Guilty)|The Trial of a Time Lord]]'' itself. The text of the story does not clarify how a television story can have a physical existence and be dragged into a courtroom; in the full-page "cover illustration" that precedes the story, however, it is depicted as an old-fashioned television set with the title screen of ''The Trial of a Time Lord'' flickering on it.  

* The clear implication is that the unnamed "DWM Writer" in the story is none other than [[Jacqueline Rayner]] herself, and that the transcript she promised to print in ''Doctor Who Magazine'' is the very story the readers are peering over. This explains why the story ends before a sentence is passed, as that is when the Writer leaves the room to go buy some Wotsits.