Poker Face (audio story)

Torchwood are in trouble. Terrorist attacks are rocking the city. Control of the police has been ceded to Cardiff's alien masters. And it looks like it's all been arranged by Captain Jack Harkness. Worse, there's a dead woman in the cells who says that Torchwood will be hers by dawn.

Plot[[edit] | [edit source]]

Jack has locked Yvonne in a cell in the Hub. She tells him that she is here to depose him and take over, criticising him and the state of the cells. Jack frisks her and confiscates her possessions on her person, including what she claims is a galactic lockpick, and she tells him that she will have control of Torchwood by dawn.

Jack forbids Orr and Ng from communicating with Yvonne and admonishes Mr Colchester for giving her a cup of tea. Jack, Ng and Mr Colchester watch her from the observation room and see her write "check my car" on the wall. Jack and Mr Colchester do so and find Xander Vaughn in her boot. They take him to the Hub and, when alone with Xander, Jack tells him to pretend that they do not know each other to avoid Torchwood knowing of his involvement with Red Doors.

Yvonne, who has been able to eavesdrop using a fireworm, asks Ng to come to her cell and makes her suspicious of Jack. Ng and Mr Colchester confide in each other that they think that Yvonne has come to help and they decide to talk to her together to find out whom the man in her car was. Yvonne tells them that he is with Red Doors. They confront Jack and accuse him of being uncommunicative, leading him to accuse them of being influenced by her.

Using her fireworm, Yvonne broadcasts a message across the Hub. She tells them that Red Doors have planted bombs around Cardiff, including one at the hospital, and that she believes that Jack is in league with them. Xander denies the involvement of Red Doors with these bombs and Jack claims that he is not involved with them. The bomb goes off at the hospital and causes a tremor, activating the Hub's semi-functional lockdown system which Orr goes about trying to undo.

Ng uses her phone to read the news, finding out that the bomb looked like a firework and that Red Doors have claimed responsibility for it, although Xander continues to deny it. He falls unconscious and Orr and Mr Colchester take him downstairs. Ng convinces Jack to go with her and Mr Colchester to talk to Yvonne, who tells them that the bombs are glitterbombs which will, once activated by a trigger device, scorch the city. She tells them to use a truth serum on Xander to learn where the other two bombs are and also tells them that she is from another universe, having crossed over when the Void was opened.

After Mr Colchester brings up the disorganisation of Torchwood, Jack threatens to fire him, but he claims that he does not have the authority. Yvonne tells him to use the face recognition system to follow Xander's steps and locate the remaining bombs.

A second bomb goes off above a school. Ng calls PC Nicki Owen and tells her of the bombs, asking her to mobilise a search for the third. Jack tells Ng that he thinks the bombs are a bluff and they go to Xander. Orr has removed a fireworm from his head and, per Jack's order, goes to Yvonne to give administer her the truth serum and scare her using their powers. Ng accuses him of having tunnel vision when it comes to Yvonne and implies that she would be a better leader.

Yvonne shows Orr her fireworm and tells them that she wants them to use the one they retrieved from Xander to listen back to his and Xander's conversation.

Mr Colchester pulls out a gun on Jack, having seen Jack and Xander talking at the protest on CCTV as well as footage of him arming the protesters. He shows Ng, who turns against Jack and demands to know where the last bomb is. It goes off above Roald Dahl Plass, giving Jack the opportunity to punch Mr Colchester in the jaw and take his gun from him, putting it down as a sign of good faith. He admits his involvement with Red Doors and claims that he was trying to shut them down and put a stop the protest, but Ng does not believe him.

Orr enters and has Xander, whom they have given the truth serum, identify Jack as his contact and tell them about their deal and his promise to hand over the quantum tech. Ng picks up the gun and shoots him. Orr searches him and finds the "galactic lockpick" that he had taken from Yvonne, which they identify as the trigger and disable. Ng sends Mr Colchester to release Yvonne and tells Jack to sit and wait in his office until the situation is dealt with, after which he must leave Torchwood.

Jack meets Yvonne on a rooftop and look out at the light of the glitterbombs. She announces her victory and tells him that she has retconed Xander, mopped the cells, written a report on the security of the city for 3Sol and that the rest of the team have agreed to stay on. She confesses to having been behind the bombs, which Jack concludes were actually fireworks, and suggests that he stay with Red Doors and guide them to become a force for good. After Jack asks her what she has been doing for all these years, she pushes him from the rooftop and declares that it is a "new and glorious dawn for Torchwood".

Cast[[edit] | [edit source]]

Worldbuilding[[edit] | [edit source]]

Yvonne mentions the Weevils.
Jack confiscates Yvonne's phone, stun gun, keys and what she claims is a galactic lockpick.
Yvonne says that Jack's stock phrases are cliché.
Yvonne tells Jack that she will take Torchwood, the base and the team from Jack, but will let him keep his coat.
Yvonne dabbles with poker.
Jack claims to have a good pout and poker face.
Ng says that Yvonne's entrance was like something out of EastEnders.
Ng mentions Ianto Jones.
The Hub has an observation room.
Mr Colchester gives Yvonne tea.
Yvonne smokes cigars.
Jack and Mr Colchester are accused of fly tipping.
Yvonne uses fireworms.
Rhys calls Ng.
Orr offers Xander a massage.
Torchwood have face recognition system from the Maxima System.
The Hub has a lockdown system.
Glitterbombs come from the Fifth Spark of Delta B.
Yvonne came from the parallel universe in 2007.
Yvonne says her universe's Jack Harkness isn't as handsome as the one here.
Yvonne vaguely remembers Ianto Jones from her universe, who worked in administration and made bad tea.

Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]

to be added

Continuity[[edit] | [edit source]]

The Battle of Canary Wharf is mentioned, where Torchwood One under the leadership of Yvonne Hartman was obliterated. (TV: Doomsday)
Yvonne mentions the Tenth Doctor opening of the Void. (TV: Doomsday)
Yvonne uses the phrase "for queen and country". (TV: Army of Ghosts, Doomsday)
Ng tells Orr that Ianto used to work for Yvonne back in the day. (AUDIO: Before the Fall)
3Sol have taken over the police force. (AUDIO: The Empty Hand)
Colchester says that Torchwood Three was destroyed many times. (TV: Fragments, Exit Wounds, Children of Earth: Day One)
Jack recalls salvaging all the alien technology from the ruins of Canary Wharf. (TV: Doomsday, Fragments)
Ianto Jones's death is mentioned. (TV: Children of Earth: Day Four)
Yvonne mentions Mary Cooper's death. (AUDIO: Aliens & Sex & Chips & Gravy)