Our Finest Gifts We Bring (short story)

Our Finest Gifts We Bring
Key crew
Publisher:	Arcbeatle Press
Writer:	various
Release details
Part of:	The Book of the Snowstorm
Release date:	26 December 2023
Format:	Short story
The Book of the Snowstorm
← Previous	The First Noël

Our Finest Gifts We Bring was the twenty fifth short story published in The Book of the Snowstorm on 26 December 2023 and was written by various people. It is split into 25 distinct vignettes.

Plot

Vignette 1

The Palatium of the Consistency Imperium stands in a fortified bubble-reality, led by the Lord of the High Council Vertolin, attempting to combat dimensional rifts, though will soon cease operation after Christmas due to the end of the Rifts Crisis which they had unwittingly been worsening for centuries. The Imperial Alchemist Mandagora enters the room, stating that there has been a "great disturbance in the plotlines", a Hyper-class threat rapidly streaking through the unknown multiverse that they cannot chase with their Void Ships. It is cloaked in a "highly magnified protagonist aura" and appears to be a denizen of the 10,000 Dawns who is moving through meta-time as well as dimensions and their local times, and delivering Christmas presents to people.

Vignette 2

Urizen senses that something is trying to penetrate his domain in the Time before Time. He welcomes the being and sees a gift upon his throne, perceiving it as a gift of Michaelmas. He opens the gift, finding a glass which tapers in the middle and rises outwards, with sand encased within, and is pleased.

Vignette 3

On Gulliver's Rest outside the glass-domed city following the end of the Cosmic War, Tyron and Dionus argue about Tyron's people and the Opposition, as well as the unusual banishment or pardon they granted Dionus. They change subject, and Tyron states that "Gulliver's Rest will see no interference or acts of aggression from the reigning powers" before leaving. Dionus makes the trek back to his new home, but spots a Christmas present in the crevice of a rock. He opens it to find a pocket watch and chain with an ennedecagonal inscription reading "Dionusavarnapexiandal — when times get rough, may your hearts beat strong."

Vignette 4

Abraytha Janus Colefia makes his way to Katioka's steaming engines. His horns catch an extruding pipe, causing him to fall into an "artery" of the ship, though flies upward to an archive. There, he searches for The Cosmography of the Bellbeaker's Cradle and Related Worlds Thereof and finds a chapter on Alice in Wonderland and the direction of its transfictivity. The doorbell of Katioka rings, and Abraytha opens the door to the void to look out, finding a decorated package and card at his feet. He opens the card, which is from an anonymous future acquaintance of his. The present is a battered hat, featuring a note directing Abraytha to return the hat to the Mad Hatter in Wonderland, accompanied by some coordinates. He then begins guiding the ship to Wonderland.

Vignette 5

Captain Gemini Shadow's log from Solar Date 2/1512.24 states that the crew of the Endeavour have been granted a week of shore leave for Christmas, while Shadow stays aboard.

On Christmas Eve, Shadow writes the reports on her recent missions, though is in a sullen mood; she has not celebrated Christmas since her mother died. Her door chime chirps, and first officer Caoimhe MacMurrough enters to keep her company and to hand her a blue box decorated in a snowflake pattern which is addressed to "a friend". Shadow opens the box to find a plush toy of a grey and brown unicorn wearing a jumpsuit. Deciding it is a "she", Shadow names it Ensign Cassiopeia Tenebrae, after the constellation, and appoints her as "executive officer in charge of yuletide celebrations". Much happier, Shadow leaves with MacMurrough to visit Violet O'Hara, who they suspect may be struggling with her family. Cassiopeia watches on as they leave.

Vignette 6

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Vignette 7

Members of SIGNET hear a loud knock on the door and Olivia finds a box on the ground, carrying it to the operations room. Charles Zoltan tells her to open it now rather than wait for Christmas Day, and they do so. Inside is a silver ticket with alien characters which seem to shift into English; it grants the bearer fifteen million Kallatins, redeemable on Pinalaxion XVII in Dawn 3721. Not knowing how to get to Dawn 3721, they end up disappointed.

Vignette 8

Viv-Gabriel Arch'ikaros lays staring at the sky in the Plume Coteries' Library, having been there for an unfathomable duration and his mind having embedded itself into the Library, degrading when the Plume Coteries burned the books there though never having met anyone there except the Bookwyrm. He picks up The Beauty in a Paradox for a few moments but puts it back down, bored. He then hears a crash, seeing a humanoid dressed in green; a Christmas Elf named Chortle von Krampus. The Elf gives Gabriel a green and white parcel and leaves. Gabriel opens the parcel to reveal a mug engraved with the name "Maritsa" alongside a coded map of the Library tellng him where to find her in the future; Maritsa was not the owner of the mug, but the engraving was an entreaty to trust Maritsa. He climbs down and begins to walk over to where she will be.

Vignette 9

In the busy Interdimensional Black Market during the holiday shopping season on the final month of the Prime-adjacent consensus Earth year, Wendy VII, a friend of the Queen of the Black Market, moves through the crowds. She slips past the Toadstool Salesman, who is arguing with a green gnome, through a hidden door, and past some guardian wraiths into the Queen's throne tunnels. The Queen had sent for Wendy via carrier-wraith to her room at a ski-lodge run by sapient snowmen in the 5777787th Universe.

Reaching the Queen's chamber, Wendy is almost speared in the neck by the Queen, who had not seen a flare from the Toadstool Salesman. Wendy is let in, and after some remarks on her black silk pyjamas, a drink of water, and some conversation on holidays of choice, the Queen hands Wendy one package of two addressed to each of them. Wendy feigns interest but is disappointed that the Queen seemingly didn't want to spend the holiday with her, and the Queen notices this. The Queen reveals that she doesn't actually care about the box, and Wendy smiles.

Vignette 10

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Vignette 11

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Vignette 12

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Vignette 13

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Vignette 14

In the Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh's walk is interrupted by Owl who tells him to come to see him and Christopher Robin at Roo's sandy pit by Kanga's house, and to fetch Piglet on the way. Joined by Rabbit and an unnamed feline, they see a present, but Pooh is wary that it may pounce on them; Piglet dives on the present, but nothing happens. Christopher Robin assures them that it is just a Christmas present. Opening it, they find that Owl received several books about the adventures of Biff, Chip and Kipper, Rabbit received a new apron, Kanga got a dress, Roo got a bouncy thing, the feline got a stretchy thing, Piglet got haycorns, Pooh got a jar of honey, Eeyore got a red umbrella, and Christopher Robin got a box of assorted writing equipment. Rabbit questions who sent them these things.

Vignette 15

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Vignette 16

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Vignette 17

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Vignette 18

On the Magic Island, First Narrator Ymetry Absinthe Wonglebongle Dooda Dodo Qualactin Rumplestiltskin Borridongdong Smeghead III, Mrs Furball, Mrs Supergranny, and Aquanafrahudy walk down the road with Pip the dog. Aquanafrahundy remarks that it is snowing while Mrs Furball notes that they are in a vignette in an anthology. The Evil Narrators try to kidnap the First Narrator, but they tell them they are not supposed to do so until the next book and they leave. Mrs Furball suggests they explain the premise of the Magic Island series to get people to read it, and addresses the reader to advertise the book, though notes to the First Narrator that the book hasn't yet been published on Earth, but has been published on Venus, Quytjible V, Betelgeuse Twelve and the Xargonian Empire. Believing they have messed things up, they go to consult the Wise Tortoise for advice.

After a long trek up a small mound to see the Tortoise, with the First Narrator feeling very proud of himself, they knock on the door. The Wise Tortoise tells them to go away. They have and drink tea, then decide go to visit Mrs Supergranny. Before that, they get stuck in a well, fall ill, and meet a dragon called Kelvin, before climbing a ladder pointed out to them by Aquanafrahundy.

At Mrs Supergranny's house, who is revealed to be Mrs Crumbshot from a previous vignette, the group have tea and then discuss the issues with the current vignette, which she reads over. The First Narrator gives the narrating to her, and she narrates the backstory of the Magic Island and those living there, and wraps up the story by narrating that the group realised the error of their ways and just needed to be themselves, and then went for a winter feast sent to them by an unknown gift giver.

Vignette 19

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Vignette 20

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Vignette 21

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Vignette 22

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Vignette 23

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Vignette 24

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Vignette 25

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Characters

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Worldbuilding

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Notes

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Continuity

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External links

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