Retconning Crocodile

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The Collective of the Retconning Crocodiles, also known simply as the Retconning Crocodiles, were a group of "fiendish metatemporal activists" who biologically resembled humanoid crocodiles. (PROSE: Auteur's Abecedarium (Issuu edition) [+]Loading...{"var":"Issuu edition","1":"Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)"}) Originating in the Prime Universe, they came to reside in the Time Sewers and concerned themselves with rewriting the narratives of different universes in their favour. (PROSE: Resurrection of the Author [+]Loading...["Resurrection of the Author (short story)"])

History[[edit] | [edit source]]

After the Crocodiles became aware that the Third Universe had entered its temporal Wilderness Years, they paid it a visit with a contingent of them among those who attended the Auction. However, harbouring no desire to be drawn into the Third Universe's "endless time-warmongering", they retconned themselves out of events as a "measure of caution".

Three Retconning Crocodiles rescued Auteur from the dying oxbow reality later dubbed the "Sanctum of the Heretic" and physically regressed him to an earlier form of himself. They promised to resurrect him more lastingly in exchange for him helping them to defeat their enemies, the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, by using a parallel narrative logic. Having analysed that Auteur was most iconic and that his narrative was at its strongest during his imprisonment in the Shadow Spire, the Crocodiles temporarily regressed him back to the Spire, giving him a short window of time in which to write something which would destroy the Cupids, with Auteur settling on a a cursed abecedarium. The Crocodiles swore by their own canonicity to uphold the bargain and, while they returned his skin, they left him trapped in the oxbow, taunting him by leaving behind a happy New Year message in shimmering emerald paint. (PROSE: Resurrection of the Author [+]Loading...["Resurrection of the Author (short story)","Resurrection of the Author"])

In December 2020, a mysterious Christmas present was found in the Cupid Homeworld containing the handwritten abecedarium. The Crew were intially suspicous of the gift, with Lord Thymon testifying that whoever was responsible must have had serious metatemporal capabilities. However, they ultimately chose to subscribe to Celebration-665's interpretation that the present was a Christmas miracle, with the Crew identifying the Retconning Crocodiles as the only group who would attack them in this way but eliminating them as suspects because of the abecedarium's handwriting, (PROSE: Auteur's Abecedarium [+]Loading...["Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)"]) being far neater than the Crocodiles could have managed. (PROSE: Auteur's Abecedarium (Issuu edition) [+]Loading...{"var":"Issuu edition","1":"Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)"})

The abecedarium was initially stored away due to its dangers but Auteur was eventually summoned to the Homeworld two years later when Herodotus-724 found the mysterious book in the Cupid Archives and decided to read it to record its contents. When laying eyes on Herodotus, Auteur noted how the thought of Copper Cupids had "sounded stupid" to him when "those maudits reptiles" had spoken of them. He also complained that the Crocodiles had "barely helped" in his goal to return to his native universe, advising Herodotus to "give them a pass". (POEM: Auteur and the Homeworld [+]Loading...["Auteur and the Homeworld (poem)"])

Other references[[edit] | [edit source]]

A pistol kept in the Vault was made by a Retconning Crocodile. Giles quickly put it down after reading what it could do if fired. (PROSE: A Worthy Successor [+]Loading...["A Worthy Successor (short story)"])

Crocodiles were among the "strange things" which filled the halls of the Cupid Archives. (POEM: Auteur and the Homeworld [+]Loading...["Auteur and the Homeworld (poem)"])

Journalist-649 suspected that the disappearance of all records of the first desktop computer brought onto the Cupid Homeworld, attributed to an internal filing error, may have been caused by either a Chronon Flea infestation or interference by the Crocodiles. (PROSE: "Christmas Calendar Conundrum Cracked!" [+]Part of Christmas Calendar Conundrum Cracked!, Loading...{"namedep":"Christmas Calendar Conundrum Cracked!","1":"Christmas Calendar Conundrum Cracked! (short story)"})

Behind the scenes[[edit] | [edit source]]

A Retconning Crocodile in Crocodile Time, a Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids comic story written and illustrated by Aristide Twain.

The Retconning Crocodiles originated from The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, the series with which Auteur's Abecedarium [+]Loading...["Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)"] and Resurrection of the Author [+]Loading...["Resurrection of the Author (short story)"] were crossovers.

Aristide Twain gave his permission for the brief mention of the Retconning Crocodiles in A Worthy Successor [+]Loading...["A Worthy Successor (short story)"] to occur[1], though he remained uncredited in the Cyberon anthology for their creation.

Footnotes[[edit] | [edit source]]