The Noodle Man
- You may be looking for the in-universe book series.
The Noodle Man was an all-seeing and all-knowing (PROSE: Tea Time!! Noodles!! [+]Loading...["Tea Time!! Noodles!! (short story)"]) man made entirely of spaghetti. (PROSE: Freaky Foolsday [+]Loading...["Freaky Foolsday (short story)"]) Inserted into every written and unwritten book in the Plume Coteries' Library by [[the most canon man]], (PROSE: How to Appear Noodles in Several Uneasy Lessons [+]Loading...["How to Appear Noodles in Several Uneasy Lessons (short story)"]) he was the main force behind the Noodle Incident, (PROSE: Taste the Noodles of Dracula [+]Loading...["Taste the Noodles of Dracula (short story)"]) ravaging the cosmos while attempting to sell a book series in which he himself was the main character. (PROSE: Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes [+]Loading...["Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes (short story)"], Tea Time!! Noodles!! [+]Loading...["Tea Time!! Noodles!! (short story)"])
Biography[[edit] | [edit source]]
Origins[[edit] | [edit source]]
The Noodle Man may have been created when [[the most canon man]] emerged from a pile of Nothing in the Plume Coteries' Library, said "introducing noOdle", and vanished. After this ordeal, the group noticed that every book in the entire library had been given noodle-related titles, many of which mentioned the Noodle Man. The Noodle Man was also credited as the Bible's author following this event. (PROSE: How to Appear Noodles in Several Uneasy Lessons [+]Loading...["How to Appear Noodles in Several Uneasy Lessons (short story)"])
The Noodle Man's origin story was depicted in many of these books. In the poem Baker and the Noodle Man, his original planet was laid to waste in the Great Spaghetti War and he wandered the universe alone for some time. In Just Add Water, he met his long-time sidekick Butter Boy and dedicated his life to protecting the innocent and downtrodden. Noodle Man Book 1: On the Griddle, the first of the Noodle Man series, depicted the transformation of the Noodle Man's arch nemesis, Eldoon, from an "arrogant bully" to a "dark sorcerer capable of melting even those with the purest of hearts" following an encounter with the Hand of Tergusa. The Noodle Man took Butter Boy on a journey to find his home, though both came to the conclusion that their real home was with each other. Eldoon melted Butter Boy down to nothing and cast the Noodle Man out of his home universe, sending him on a quest of revenge. (PROSE: Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes [+]Loading...["Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes (short story)"])
Odd Other-Dimensional Pickup Squad membership[[edit] | [edit source]]
After landing in the 10,000 Dawns and taking a brief stint as an actor, depicted in And Today, You - The Lost Chapters, The Noodle Man contacted the Odd Other-Dimensional Pickup Squad (OOPS), a team dedicated to helping those in need across the Dawns, for help locating his world of origin. Unsuccessful in this endeavour, he eventually agreed to a partnership with the team alongside Minerva Caputo, Fizz, Theo, and Jesslyn. His first meeting with the team was exactly mirrored in The Book of the Snowstorm in a section read by Callum and Maritsa.
During his time in OOPS, the Noodle Man helped Coloth and Rich find their way to the 925 Universe by reshaping his constituent noodles into a thirty-dimensional map. Another time, he stretched across multiple universes to give Chris Cwej a high-five and hand him an advertisement for Noodle Man Book 1, an act recounted in the book Cwej: Hidden Truths.
After a few months with OOPS, he helped the team cross the wastes of one Dawn by forming himself into a noodle rope bridge that extended into the horizon, taking a Big Dipper-like star formation and using it as a cosmic ladle to scoop up the stars in the sky, giving this to the parched Jesslyn to drink. The team came across HURRAY, whose leader called the Noodle Man "annoying", "an unnecessary addition to the cast," and "a stupid contrivance." The members of OOPS defended the Noodle Man. However, he realised his membership was not helping him sell many copies of Noodle Man Book 1: On the Griddle and promptly left; his former teammates finally realised he had altered their perception to make them accept him, though Theo still craved spaghetti. (PROSE: Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes [+]Loading...["Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes (short story)"])
Post-OOPS salesmanship[[edit] | [edit source]]
Arriving on the bridge of the UHS Endeavour and hoping to find some new customers, the Noodle Man swapped the bodies of executive officer Amalia Wildstar and Captain Gemini Shadow, and introduced himself repeatedly. He speculated that his series may receive a movie and that he would want Chef Boiardi to play him, before being approached by the swapped crew members. Wildstar offered to buy his book using Martian dollars; the Noodle Man took the money and disappeared, then reappeared on the other side of the bridge to introduce himself once more. (PROSE: Freaky Foolsday [+]Loading...["Freaky Foolsday (short story)"])
After stopping the ship Katioka from crashing on the way to Wonderland, as he decided the writer Ostara had done that plot point too many times, he was introduced by the Mad Hatter, who he had influenced to sell The Book of the Noodles and the Men, to the ship's captain Abraytha Janus Colefia. When Abraytha refused to accept the canonicity of the situation nor buy his book, the Noodle Man threatened to "turn [the] entire world into noodles", and carried out the threat when Abraytha left. (PROSE: Tea Time!! Noodles!! [+]Loading...["Tea Time!! Noodles!! (short story)"])
He then appeared in York, where five members of SIGNET were attempting to transport a thermonuclear missile; the crew accepted his presence immediately and were glad to have him to hand. Apparently skilled in this work as evidenced in his own books The Adventures of Noodle Man Volume 17: Kim Jong Un Gets Noodled and The Adventures of Noodle Man Volume 18: More of Beating Up Kim Jon Un with Noodles, he attempted to defuse it. However, Nrai, an evil Archon with a love for rearranging letters, appeared and tried to stop him defusing the bomb, stating that Noodle Man would never "get Noodle Wife back" before punching him with the power of twenty quadrillion suns. Announcing that he was "bixsesual" and seemingly releasing the SIGNET members from his psychological influence, he turned them into spaghetti, meatballs, and Olive Garden breadsticks. The thermonuclear missile exploded, killing everyone present. (PROSE: I'm So Normal I'm So Normal I'm So [+]Loading...["I'm So Normal I'm So Normal I'm So (short story)"])
More to be added
Personality[[edit] | [edit source]]
The Noodle Man was a fervent salesman and advocate for the books in which he himself appeared, sometimes directly urging others to "go buy the Noodle Man book, mm mm noodle noodle!" (PROSE: The Noodle Magic Island [+]Loading...["The Noodle Magic Island (short story)"]) He sometimes destroyed worlds when he was not able to get his way. (PROSE: Tea Time!! Noodles!! [+]Loading...["Tea Time!! Noodles!! (short story)"])
With the ability to slot himself into any narrative, he could alter the perception of those around him to make them like him. Minerva Caputo saw him as someone who "played by his own rules, but always came around to the side of good in the end", though changed her mind after he left. (PROSE: Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes [+]Loading...["Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes (short story)"]) Similarly, members of SIGNET immediately and falsely trusted the man with the task of defusing a thermonuclear missile. (PROSE: I'm So Normal I'm So Normal I'm So [+]Loading...["I'm So Normal I'm So Normal I'm So (short story)"])
Appearance[[edit] | [edit source]]
He wore a fedora and a classy coat, and occasionally an "absolutely rocking" pair of shades. His movement sounded like "worms fighting in a paper bag". (PROSE: Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes [+]Loading...["Uh Oh, Spaghetti Woes (short story)"])
Behind the scenes[[edit] | [edit source]]
The Noodle Man was initially created by Plum Pudding when they joked about the character with friends. The anthology The Noodle Incident, depicting the Noodle Man in all its stories and "the First and Final Entry in the Original Series 'The Noodle Man'", was announced on 1 April 2024 by Arcbeatle Press as an April Fools' joke. However, the anthology was revealed to be real and released two days later.
