Vince Cosmos

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Vince Cosmos
Main aliases:	Vincent Albert Smedley, Albert Smedley, Vincent Elven Wishbone
Job:	Musician, detective
Affiliated with:	Mr "Chuckles" Glister, Arthur Korn
Place of origin:	Glam
Adoptive mother:	Gladys Irene Smedley
Adoptive father:	Albert Thomas Smedley
First appearance:	Enter Wildthyme
Appearances:	PROSE: Hang onto Yourself AUDIO: Vince Cosmos: Glam Rock Detective PROSE: From Wildthyme with Love PROSE: Iris Wildthyme and the Polythene Terror PROSE: Mother, Maiden, Crone
Main voice actor:	Julian Rhind-Tutt

Vincent Aloysius Cosmos, more simply known as Vince Cosmos, was a musician from the planet Glam. He was also secretly a detective, fighting Martian infiltrators on Earth with the help of his personal assistant Poppy Munday and Mr "Chuckles" Glister.

Biography

Early life

Vince was born on Glam, (AUDIO: Vince Cosmos: Glam Rock Detective) but was believed on Earth to be born in South London in 1948, to Albert Thomas Smedley and Gladys Irene Smedley. At that time, he was known as "Vincent Albert Smedley". He was raised in Hammersmith (PROSE: Biography) and then in East Dulwich (PROSE: Biography, AUDIO: Vince Cosmos: Glam Rock Detective) after the death of his father. He was, as a child, known to be a dreamer who didn't have much going for him academically. (PROSE: Biography)

Music career

Despite this, he got a job in the advertising department of a local newspaper, and his his free time he performed in several bands, including The Scooters and Multiverse. He tried to get into showbusiness with BBC television, but failed.

Later, going by the name "Vincent Elven Wishbone", he tried to make songs that used the "hippie sound", and he released an album based on the works of J. R. R. Tolkien, but when Tolkien denied Vince the rights to his works, Vince had to remove many of the songs. During the late 1960s, Vince took refuge in many pub bands. (PROSE: Biography)

As "Vince Cosmos"

In 1971, Vince signed up with Hell for Leather Promotions, and the "notorious" Arthur Korn became his manager. At this time, he was now known as "Vince Cosmos", and soon he had a series of powerful dreams in which the Galactic Godhead spoke and dictated the lyrics of Vince's songs. He then released an album of space themed songs (PROSE: Biography) in 1972. (PROSE: Hang onto Yourself)

This gave way to the "invention" of Glam Rock, and Vince let go of his previous band, The Extraneous Organs, and replaced them with a new band, The Sky Rockets in Flight, and together, they released an album called Those Crazy Martian Cats. (PROSE: Biography) On May Day of that year, Vince attended a party at Hobbe's End hosted by Iris Wildthyme, along with a number of other celebrities. (PROSE: From Wildthyme with Love)

Vince quickly became a household name, in part for his outrageous outfits and persona, but his popularity also lead several assassination attempts. (PROSE: Biography)

It was believed that one such attempt was when he suffered from a near-fatal shooting at the Hammersmith Odeon, (PROSE: Biography) in 1973. The truth of the assassination actually involved a pair of Martian Time Agents who were sent to assassinate Vince by Anthony Marvelle, but this was foiled when Simon and Panda warned Vince of the imminent attack, and Panda scared off the Martians due to there being an ancient legend of a panda who arrived in a scarlet chariot on Mars. Later, Vince invited Simon and Panda to an after party in gratitude. However, according to this account, these events were in an alternate reality, and that in Simon's universe, this was the final retirement performance of Vince Cosmos. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme) Another assassination attempt on Vince's life was supposed to happen while Vince was performing in front of Princess Margaret, but the explosives only went off after everybody left. Vince began making public statements about the existence of Martians and the dangers they presented, but these were dismissed as everybody believed that Vince was becoming paranoid and was failing to distinguish fact from fiction. (PROSE: Biography)

End of an era

After a "series of weird accidents, financial disasters, sackings and behind-the-scenes dramas", and the steady decline of Glam Rock as a genre, Vince and his band moved to the USA to perform, but this also ended in disaster. Shortly, Vince funded an entire movie, but it flopped and was ill-received. Vince returned to England, where he tried to reclaim his fame, and he released an album entitled Gourd, which was performed with edible instruments. This album was recorded in Belgium, and during his stay there, he attempted to cure his addiction to Night Nurse and Silk Cut, and he also became fascinated by the works of novelist E. T. Horriblismus. This influenced him to release another album called A Sort of Morbid Panache, but his time in the limelight had unfortunately ended. (PROSE: Biography)

By 1978, Vince was depressed over the fact he wasn't in mainstream media any longer, (PROSE: Mother, Maiden, Crone) but he decided to surprise everybody by performing one last time at Wembly, where he performed his greatest hits. (PROSE: Biography)

Disappearance

In January 1979, it seemed for all intents and purposes that Vince had simply disappeared off the face of the planet. (PROSE: Biography)

The thing was, he genuinely had left the planet. Retiring as both a musician and a Martian-fighting detective, Vince returned to the planet formerly known as Glam. Iris Wildthyme travelled back in time to 1976, stole his map and gave it to MIAOW, so that they could fight the Martians in his place. (PROSE: Hang onto Yourself)

After Vince's disappearance, his assistant Mr "Chuckles" Glister only gave one statement about the incident, saying that Vince had "returned to the stars". It was known that the only person who actually knew where Vince had went was Poppy Munday, Vince's PA and founder of the Vince Cosmos fan club, who resided in a canal boat. (PROSE: Biography)

Undated events

Vince once told Daily Mirror reporter Sally Taylforth about his strange series of dreams. (PROSE: Biography)

Legacy

While Vince's film The Diachronic Messiah wasn't a success when it first premiered in the 1970s, by the 1990s, it was regarded by some as a "camp classic", and by others, a "cornerstone of a new age religion". (PROSE: Biography)

In the 21st century, Cosmos would be remembered as the "greatest glam rocker of all time". Simon was a big fan of Cosmos, and he owned multiple LPs and DVDs of Vince's performances.

Iris Wildthyme kept several Vince Cosmos tapes in her Celestial Omnibus. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme)

Behind the scenes

Vince Cosmos reappeared in Paul Magrs' 2016 Bafflegab Productions audio story Gobbleknoll Hall in the Baker's End series. The story, which features Tom Baker playing a version of himself, has Baker encountering Cosmos' spirit. [1]

Information from invalid sources

Gobbleknoll Hall

Tom Baker, Suzy Goshawk and the team of ghost-hunting TV show Manifest Yourself encountered his ghost in Gobbleknoll Hall. Vince talked to them through Suzy. (NOTVALID: Gobbleknoll Hall)