The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon

"The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon"
Type:	Song
Used by:	Steven Taylor, Kate Fisher
Appearance:	The Gunfighters [+]Loading...["The Gunfighters (TV story)"]

"The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon" was a song sung by Steven Taylor and accompanied by Dodo Chaplet on the piano. In October 1881, they were forced to perform at gunpoint in the Last Chance Saloon in Tombstone, Arizona when they were mistaken for companions of Doc Holliday. Their "hijackers" became suspicious when Dodo mentioned "the Doctor", and they noticed Steven was wearing guns. They wanted to satisfy themselves that Steven and Dodo were indeed "thespians" as they claimed and used the song as a test of their performance skills. (TV: The Gunfighters ^[+]Loading...["The Gunfighters (TV story)"])

During a later adventure in an alternate Paris, Dodo offered to play "The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon" for Dalville, but hesitated out of fear an unknown difference between the pianos of 1804 and 1966 would reveal her as an anachronism. (PROSE: The Man in the Velvet Mask ^[+]Loading...["The Man in the Velvet Mask (novel)"])

In 1812 Russia, Dodo agreed to teach Olga Nikitin how to play the piano on the condition that she not have to play "The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon". (AUDIO: Mother Russia ^[+]Loading...["Mother Russia (audio story)"])

Behind the scenes

• The ballad was an original song specially composed for the 1966 serial, The Gunfighters. As performed by Lynda Baron, the song also provided "Greek chorus"-like narration for the story. It had about twenty verses, although some were reprises in varying tempos and orchestrations. There would not be another original song commissioned for Doctor Who until the song playing on Ace’s radio in 1988’s Remembrance of the Daleks.
• During the fiftieth anniversary documentary, The Doctors Revisited - The First Doctor, John Barrowman, who played Captain Jack Harkness, expressed confusion at how out of place and bizarre this particular moment seemed in the First Doctor's era.

Lyrics

As televised

These are the complete lyrics as it was sung over the course of the four episodes. Each stanza break indicates when the singing stopped during the episodes. It will be noted when a character is singing the stanza instead of the offscreen Lynda Baron.

So fill up your glasses,
And join in the song.
The law's right behind you,
And it won't take long.
So come, you coyotes
And howl at the moon,
Till there's blood upon the sawdust,
In The Last Chance Saloon.

On your way then you cowboys,
The time will be soon,
When there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon.

It's your last chance of cussing
At a gunfighter's doom,
It's your last chance of nothin'
At the Last Chance Saloon!

Till there's blood on the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon.

With rings on their fingers
And bells on their toes
The girls come to Tombstone
In their high silk hose.
They'll dance on the tables
Or sing you a tune,
For whatever's in your wallet
At the Last Chance Saloon.

On your way then, you lawmen,
The time will be soon,
When there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon.

It's your last chance of boozing,
Where there's no-one to mind.
It's your last chance of losing
And the first place you'll find.
When there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon.

When there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon!

(sung by Steven)

With rings on their fingers
And bells on their toes
The girls come to Tombstone
In their high silk hose
They'll dance on the tables
Or give you a tune
For whatever's in your wallet
At the Last Chance Saloon
It's your last chance of giving
It's your last chance of rye
It's your last chance of living and
Your last chance to die
It's your last chance of boozing
When there's no one to mind
It's your last chance of losing
And the first place you find
Four days ride from the station
And you're leaving at noon
And your one consolation
Is the Last Chance Saloon

(continued to be sung by Steven)

...your last chance of rye
It's your last chance of living
And your last chance to die
It's your last chance of boozing
When there's no one to mind
It's your last chance of losing
And the first place you find
Four days ride from the station
You're leaving at noon
And your one consolation
Is the Last Chance Saloon

(continued to be sung by Steven)

With rings on...(Steven stops singing only to be forced to resume at gunpoint)
...Is the Last Chance Saloon
It's your last chance of giving
It's your last chance of rye
It's your last chance of living
And your...

(Kate interrupts)

(sung by Kate)

So fill up your glasses
And join in the song
The law's right behind you
And it won't take long
So come you coyotes
And howl at the moon
'Till there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon
You've a good chance of swingin'
It's your last chance to hide
It's your last chance of singin'
'Till your long last ride
It's your last chance of cussin'
At your hard-earned doom
It's your last chance of nuthin'
It's the Last Chance Saloon

You've a good chance of dyin',
It's your last chance to hide.
There won't be no flyin'
Till your last, long ride.

There's gamblers from Denver,
There's guns from the South,
And many a Cowboy
With a dry, dry mouth.
There's a ragtime piana'
And a small back room,
For to sleep off your troubles
In the Last Chance Saloon.

With rings on their fingers
And bells on their toes,
The girls come to Tombstone
In their high silk hose.

You've a good chance of dying,
It's your last chance to hide;
There won't be no flyin'
'Til your last, long ride.

You've a good chance of swingin',
It's your last chance to hide.
And your last chance at singin'
'Till your last long ride.

You've a good chance of swingin'
It's your last chance to hide
And your last chance at singin'
'Till your last long ride

So pick him up gentle
And carry him slow,
He's gone kind of mental
Under Earp's heavy blow.

It's your last chance of boozing
Where there's no-one to mind,
It's your last chance of losing
And the first place you find.

It's your last chance of earning
Your gunfighters fee.
The pay is in dollars,
But the bullets are free.
It's your last chance of cussing
At a gunfighters doom.
It's your last chance of nothing
It's the Last Chance Saloon.

So it's curtains for Charlie,
That barman of fame.
He met Johnny Ringo
And he knew Johnny's name.
He knew Johnny's name and
He spoke it out loud.
Now Charlie the barman
Has gotten a shroud.

He knew Johnny's name and
He spoke it out loud.
Now Charlie the barman
Has gotten a shroud.

Johnny Ringo has found her.
Johnny Ringo's found Kate.
The gunslinger's got her,
Now what is her fate?
Johnny Ringo has seen her,
She's coming his way.
Johnny Ringo and Katie
Were lovers, they say.

It's curtains for Warren,
They've gunned the kid down.
And them bad, cruel outlaws
Are heading for town.
On your way then you cowboys
The time will be soon
When there's blood on the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon.

He knew Johnny's name and
He spoke it out loud.
Now Charlie the barman
Has gotten a shroud.

It's curtains for Warren,
They've gunned the kid down.
And them bad, cruel outlaws
Are heading for town.
On your way then you cowboys,
The time will be soon
When there's blood on the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon.

So the Earps and the Clantons
Are aimin' to meet,
At the OK Corral
Near Calamity Street.
It's the OK Corral, boys
Of gun fighting fame,
Where the Earps and the Clantons,
They played out the game.
They played out the game
And we nevermore shall
Hear a story the like
Of the OK Corral.

So the cards, they are drawn and
The chips, they are down,
Them outlaws and lawmen
Are headin' for town.
And the Earps and the Clantons
Are aimin' to meet
At the OK Corral
Near Calamity Street.

So them bad, cruel outlaws
Are meeting up soon.
And they've drunk their last drink in
The Last-Chance Saloon.

It's the OK Corral, boys
Of gun fighting fame,
Where the Earps and the Clantons,
They played out their game.

They paid their sins and
They lost on the draw.
For the Earps they was faster
And they was the law.
So beware all you cowboys
Who's yearning to sin.
If the Earps is the lawmen
You ain't gonna win.

(sung by Kate)

So fill up your glasses
And join in the song
The laws right behind ya
And it won't take long
So come you coyotes
And howl at the moon
'Till there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon
You've a good chance of swingin'
It's your last chance to hide
It's your last chance of singin'
'Till your last long ride...

(fade out)

Soundtrack release

An abridged version of the song appeared on Doctor Who - The 50th Anniversary Collection soundtrack.

So fill up your glasses,
And join in the song.
The law's right behind you,
And it won't take long.
So come, you coyotes
And howl at the moon,
Till there's blood upon the sawdust,
In The Last Chance Saloon.

With rings on their fingers
And bells on their toes
The girls come to Tombstone
In their high silk hose.
They'll dance on the tables
Or sing you a tune,
For whatever's in your wallet
At the Last Chance Saloon.

It's your last chance of boozing,
Where there's no-one to mind.
It's your last chance of losing
And the first place you'll find.

It's your last chance of earning
Your gunfighters fee.
The pay is in dollars,
But the bullets are free.
It's your last chance of cussing
At a gunfighters doom.
It's your last chance of nothing
It's the Last Chance Saloon.

So them bad, cruel outlaws
Are meeting up soon.
And they've drunk their last drink in
The Last-Chance Saloon.

It's the OK Corral, boys
Of gun fighting fame,
Where the Earps and the Clantons,
They played out their game.

They paid for their sins and
They lost on the draw.
For the Earps they was faster
And they was the law.
So beware all you cowboys
Who's yearning to sin.
If the Earps is the lawmen
You ain't gonna win.