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Dr Alex Bendo / Johnny Wilmot
You are the Absurd Hero
Plot
0
You wake up on a road, an incorporeal man standing above you. He says he's trapped in an alternate reality, the Boulevard, but can be freed if you buy a certain book, The Book of the War, and perform a certain ritual. Offering you the power to rewrite time if you help him, he hands you a note that you will write tomorrow, vanishing.
Do you write the note? 1A
Or do you refuse? 1B
1B
Not only are you on the same road as before, but a weight is crushing your body, breaking it. A bolder rolls up the length of your body, flattening you bit by bit. You wish it would stop, that you could avoid what led you here. Yet still it moves.
We must imagine you happy. 0
1A
Okay, okay, you write the note. But what next? The book costs an absurd amount. Just bonkers. Who has that kind of money for a random book? Certainly not you. Oh, but, rewriting time. That's some strong motivation. Some really strong motivation You could sell everything you own, that might be enough. Or, hell, you could do something bad and then undo the consequences once you get the book. Why don't you steal things?
Do you steal the book? 1AA
Do you steal the money for the book? 1AB
Or do you think stealing is morally wrong, and you're no fun? 1B
1AA
The plan? As simple as it is elegant. Step one - you order something from the same person who sells The Book of the War, getting a return address from the packaging. Step two - You don a ski mask and parkour up the balcony, having practiced this move for some time. Step three - you enter the unlocked building in the middle of the night. And you're in. Looking around the room, it seems a bit spooky, but that's all you have time to notice before chanting starts, pledges to a Grandfather, to the spirits, and an invocation that insists you choke. You fall down, air flowing out of your lungs, a woman standing over you, holding a book and keys. She mutters her distaste for criminals as you die.
If you're trying for a life of crime, why not do it properly? 1A
1AB
A screenwriter, Tucker, goes on and on about the difficulties of robbing a bank these days, how much security they have. Handing you his card, he mentions he's been planning a heist movie, so it's been on his mind a lot. But he just can't get it to work, given the realities of the situation. But, hey. This is your bank right here. Maybe there's another option.
Like a good little capitalist drone maybe you could just sell everything you own, that might be enough? 1ABA
Or maybe, you really like heist movies. Like, you really like heist movies. Yeah, that's you. You're robbing the bank. 1ABB
Do you think this all seems too difficult, and it's easiest just to give up? 1B
Or, do you think you could always just take the book from the owner instead? 1AA
1ABA
You try to check the order status in the library, thin from starvation, but the librarian exiles you, it's closing time. You walk through the rain, your possessions gone, no rent, no phone or computer. All of it gone, all to buy the book. Soon it will all be worth it though, the package will arrive in the place you once called home. Soon. You try to cross the street, and a car almost hits you, knocks you down. More cars come, rolling over you, shattering your bones - a familiar sensation - as you crawl on. Until finally a mail truck passes over you.
Choose something other than the capitalist option? 1AB
A woman tells you that you should be dead. Sister-in-waiting Annie is carrying paper, and you bite her because she annoys you. She drops the paper, along with a clang of metal, before reaching down and stabbing you in the chest, grabbing her papers and leaving.
Death is preferable to capitalism. You're dead. 1AB
You roll over on the street to find a key jutting into your back. It's marked with ###. No clue what that means. But your wounds have healed, and the sun is shining above you. You return to the library and check the order status again. It's arrived.
Okay, fine, you're alive. 2A
Or do you mess this up somehow? 1B
1ABB
Okay, okay, talking to Tucker convinced you. The best option is to just go for it - the sheer insanity of the idea means that they won't expect it, and it'll work. And you know what? It did. You and Tucker got the cash, but not cleanly. The cops are onto you, surrounding the bank, and your gun is fake. So you do what any self respecting bank robber would do. Bluff. You pull the piece on Tucker, threatening to take him out if they don't let you go. But they've blocked the exits, and won't let you out, one pulls the trigger as you dive.
Did you dive forward? 1ABBA
Or did you dive backwards? 1ABBB
1ABBA
You dash forward with Tucker, the bullets missing you as you manage to run into a police car. None of the fun toys are present, but the keys still are. The two of you drive away, the cops following after in a high speed chase, a helicopter shadowing you from above.
Do you flee somewhere wet? 1ABBAA
Do you flee somewhere dry? 1ABBAB
Or do you turn yourself in? 1B
1ABBB
The front of the bank quickly becomes a less than safe place to be - the police are determined to storm the bank, and do so in full force. You dive out the back door, a stranger pulling you into an odd looking alley. You confirm your purchase of the book on your phone as he grills you about your relationship to Faction Paradox, how you're planning to break one of their worst members out of prison. You didn't know any of this, but you don't trust this man. Well, you didn't. Mother Camus greets you as his body hits the floor, telling you that she just needs to stop this incident right here - stop Sisyphus from escaping before you get time travel. And so you die.
Or do you? Maybe you can try again. 1ABB