The Best Joke I Ever Told (short story): Difference between revisions

The Best Joke I Ever Told

Key crew

Writer:

Simon Guerrier

Release details

Part of:

Short Trips: Dalek Empire

Release date:

18 December 2006

Short Trips short stories
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Suz	Hide and Seek

The Best Joke I Ever Told was the sixth short story in the Short Trips anthology Short Trips: Dalek Empire. It was written by Simon Guerrier. It featured the Sixth Doctor and Mel.

Summary

Zeet Frenzy makes television programmes, including a comedy about the Daleks. His only concern is his audience numbers.

Zeet is visited by the Doctor and Mel, who try to convince him that the Daleks are not funny. They are dangerous. He doesn't believe them or their motives, but the Doctor takes him to see the devastation on Guria, one of the many planets wiped out by the Daleks. While there, they are captured by the Daleks and Mel is taken away to be interrogated.

The Doctor and Zeet escape, and the Doctor sets up an explosion to destroy the Daleks. He prepares an escape pod for the two of them and Mel, whom they still have to rescue. Zeet, however, terrified, takes off in the pod. In orbit, he experiences the shock waves from the explosion.

Zeet is rescued by Captain J. V. Acondo, who thinks he is responsible for destroying the Daleks. She spreads the word of his accomplishment, and soon people are giving him credit for the deed.

The Doctor visits Zeet and assures him that Mel is recovering, but fine. After he leaves, Zeet realises that the "actors" playing the Daleks have been replaced long ago by actual Daleks, who have been using him to lull his viewers into complacency about the Dalek invasions. Zeet decides to inform his viewers the truth, well aware that the Daleks will kill him.

Characters

Worldbuilding

Carvoni is a city on Guria.
Zeet plays Mavic Chen on one of his programmes.
A bully named Andy Ledger used to pick on Mel when she was ten.

Notes

to be added

Continuity

to be added

Short Trips short stories

BBC Books

Short Trips	Model Train Set • Old Flames • War Crimes • The Last Days • Stop the Pigeon • Freedom • Glass • Mondas Passing • There are Fairies at the Bottom of the Garden • Mother's Little Helper • The Parliament of Rats • Rights • Wish You Were Here • Ace of Hearts • The People's Temple

More Short Trips	Totem • Scientific Adviser • Missing, Part One: Business as Usual • Moon Graffiti • One Bad Apple • 64 Carlysle Street • The Eternity Contract • The Sow in Rut • Special Weapons • Honest Living • Dead Time • Romans Cutaway • Return of the Spiders • Hot Ice • uPVC • Good Companions • Missing, Part Two: Message in a Bottle • Femme Fatale

Short Trips and Side Steps	The Longest Story in the World • A Town Called Eternity • The Not-So-Sinister Sponge • Nothing at the End of the Lane • Countdown to TV Action • The Queen of Eros • The Android Maker of Calderon IV • Revenants • Please Shut the Gate • Turnabout is Fair Play • Do You Love Anyone Enough? • Dr Who and the House on Oldark Moor • Gone Too Soon • Reunion • Planet of the Bunnoids • Monsters • Better Watch Out, Better Take Care • Face Value • Storm in a Tikka • Playing with Toys • Vrs

Big Finish Productions

Zodiac	The True and Indisputable Facts in the Matter of the Ram's Skull • Growing Higher • Twin Piques • Still Lives • Constant Companion • Virgin Lands • The Switching • Jealous, Possessive • Five Card Draw • I Was a Monster!!! • The Invertebrates of Doom • The Stabber • Introduction and links

Companions	The Tip of the Mind • The Splintered Gate • The Man from DOCTO(R) • Apocrypha Bipedium • A Boy's Tale • Kept Safe and Sound • The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe • Hearts of Stone • Distance • Qualia • Curriculum Vitae • Notre Dame du Temps • The Little Drummer Boy • Hidden Talent • The Canvey Angels • Balloon Debate • A Long Night

A Universe of Terrors	The Exiles • Mire and Clay • Ash • Face-Painter • Losing Track of Time • The Discourse of Flies • The Fear • Mauritz • The Comet's Tail • Long Term • Soul Mate • Whiskey and Water • The Death of Me • This is My Life • Gazing Void

The Muses	Introduction • Teach Yourself Ballroom Dancing • The Brain of Socrates • Mordieu • An Overture Too Early • Hymn of the City • Confabula • The Astronomer's Apprentice • Katarina in the Underworld • The Glass Princess

Steel Skies	Corridors of Power • A Good Life • Reversal of Fortune • Monitor • Dust • Light at the End of the Tunnel • No Exit • House • Deep Stretch • Inmate 280 • Doing Time • The Ruins of Heaven • Cold War • O, Darkness • Greenaway • Eternity

Past Tense	The Immortals • Far from Home • All Done with Mirrors • CHAOS • Ante Bellum • The Thief of Sherwood • Come Friendly Bombs... • Graham Dilley Saves the World • Bide-a-Wee • Mortlake • White Man's Burden • Of the Mermaid and Jupiter • The Man Who Wouldn't Give Up • One Small Step... • To Kill a Nandi Bear • Fixing a Hole • That Time I Nearly Destroyed the World Whilst Looking for a Dress

Life Science	Syntax • Primitives • The Northern Heights • Observation • Mortal Thoughts • Lant Land • A Star is Reborn • The Southwell Park Mermaid • The Destroyers • The Reproductive Cycle • Jonah • Scribbles in Chalk • The End • The Age of Ambition • Echo • A Rose by Any Other Name

Repercussions	The Time Lord's Story • The Ghost's Story • The Rag & Bone Man's Story • The Seismologist's Story • The Dead Man's Story • The Inquisitor's Story • The Gangster's Story • The Bushranger's Story • The Schoolboy's Story • The Juror's Story • The Farmer's Story • The Republican's Story • The Assassin's Story • The Diplomat's Story • The Steward's Story • The Tramp's Story • Repercussions...

Monsters	Best Seller • From Eternity • Last Rites • The Touch of the Nurazh • Flashpoint • These Things Take Time • Categorical Imperative • Trapped! • Not So Much a Programme, More a Way of Life • Screamager • The Colour of Monsters

2040	The Nuclear Option • Separation • Thinking Warrior • Observer Effect • Artificial Intelligence • Daisy Chain • Sustainable Energy • Culture War • The Baron Wastes • /Carpenter/Butterfly/Baronet • Outsourcing • Anteus • The Last Emperor • The Ethereal

A Christmas Treasury	Last Christmas • UNIT Christmas Parties: First Christmas • In the TARDIS: Christmas Day • Water's Edge • A Yuletide Tail • Spookasem • Christmas Special • Never Seen Cairo • The Man Who (Nearly) Killed Christmas • Last Minute Shopping • Every Day • The Eight Doctors of Christmas • The Little Things • UNIT Christmas Parties: Christmas Truce • The Clanging Chimes of Doom • Perfect Present • Present Tense • Goodwill Toward Men • It's a Lovely Day Tomorrow • All Our Christmases • Lily • ...Be Forgot • The Feast of Seven... Eight (and Nine) • UNIT Christmas Parties: Ships That Pass • Evergreen

Seven Deadly Sins	The Duke's Folly • That Which Went Away • Angel • Suitors, Inc. • The 57th • Telling Tales • Too Rich for My Blood • Seven Deadly Sins

A Day in the Life	After Midnight • Sold Out • Undercurrents • The Five O'Clock Shadow • The Sooner the Better • Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast • The Heroine, the Hero and the Megalomaniac • Waiting for Jeremy • A Life in the Day • Morphology • Making History • One Wednesday Afternoon • How You Get There • The Last Broadcast • The Terror of the Darkness • Visiting Hours • Before Midnight

The Solar System	Mercury • Venus • Earth • Mars • Jupiter • Saturn • Uranus • Neptune • Pluto • Sedna

The History of Christmas	The Lampblack Wars • Home Fires • The Feast • Rome • Set in Stone • The Thousand Years of Christmas • Presence • Danse Macabre • The Church of Saint Sebastian • The Prodigal Sun • Be Good for Goodness's Sake • Ode to Joy • Nobody's Gift • The Innocents • Comforts of Home • Christmas on the Moon • The Anchorite's Echo • The Revolutionaries • The Gift • Callahuanca • Not in My Back Yard • She Won't Be Home • Saint Nicholas's Bones • The Long Midwinter

Farewells	The Mother Road • Father Figure • The Bad Guy • Separation Day • The Very Last Picture Show • Into the Silent Land • Wake • The Velvet Dark • Life After Queth • Black and White • Curtain Call • Utopia • The Wickerwork Man • The Three Paths

The Centenarian	Prologue • Echoes • Direct Action • Dream Devils • Falling from Xi'an • Log 384 • The Church of Football • Incongruous Details • Ancient Whispers • First Born • Dear John • Checkpoint • Childhood Living • The Lost • Old Boys • Testament • Forgotten

Time Signature	An Overture Too Early • The Ruins of Time • Gone Fishing • The Avant Guardian • Second Contact • Resonance • Walkin' City Blues • The Hunting of the Slook • The Earwig Archipelago • DS Al Fine • Certificate of Destruction

Dalek Empire	Kalendorf • Natalie's Diary • Alby • Private Investigations • Suz • The Best Joke I Ever Told • Hide and Seek • The Eighth Wonder of the World • Mutually Assured Survival • Museum Peace

Destination Prague	Midnight in the Café of the Black Madonna • Room for Improvement • Life from Lifelessness • The Long Step Backward • Strange Attractor • Gold and Black Ooze • The Dogs of War • Sunday Afternoon, AD 848,988 • Nanomorphosis • Spoilsport • War in a Time of Peace • The End of Now • Suspension and Disbelief • Leap Second • Lady of the Snows • The Time Eater • Fable Fusion • Men of the Earth • Across Silent Seas • The Dragons of Prague • Omegamorphosis

Snapshots	Golem • Indian Summer • All of Beyond • The Eyes Have It • The Misadventure of Mark Thorne • Attachments • There's Something About Mary • My Hero • Plight of the Monkrah • Remain in Light • In Case of Emergencies • Puppeteer • Osskah • Piecemeal • The Report • You Had Me at Verify User Name and Password • She Knew • The Glarn Strategy • Salva Mea • The Sorrows of Vienna • Fanboys

The Ghosts of Christmas	Faithful Friends: Part One • But Once a Year • For the Man Who Has Everything • Tell Me You Love Me • The Cutty Wren • Do You Dream in Colour? • The Nobility of Faith • 24 Crawford Street • The Sommerton Fetch • Faithful Friends: Part Two • Dear Great Uncle Peter • Do You Believe in the Krampus? • They Fell • The Christmas Presence • Snowman in Manhattan • The Crackers • Jigsaw • Dr Cadabra • Far Away in a Manger • All Snug in Their Beds • Decorative Purposes • The Stars Our Contamination • Keeping It Real • Christmas Every Day? • Faithful Friends: Part Three

Defining Patterns	Machine Time • The Time and Tide • Losing the Audience • One Card for the Curious • Séance, or Smoking is Highly Addictive, Don't Start • The Celestial Harmony Engine • Mutiny • Numb • Closing the Account • The Great Escapes • Loose Change • Lepidoptery for Beginners • One Step Forward, Two Steps Back • Homework • The Devil Like a Bear • Stanley • Twilight's End • The Book of My Life • Defining Patterns

The Quality of Leadership	From Little Acorns • One Fateful Knight • The Slave War • Goths and Robbers • Good Queen, Bad Queen, I Queen, You Queen • The Price of Conviction • God Send Me Well to Keep • Peaceable Kingdom • Rock Star • On a Pedestal • Clean-up on Aisle Two • The Spindle of Necessity • Epilogue

Transmissions	Doctor Who and the Adaptation of Death • Policy to Invade • Only Connect • Gudok • Generation Gap • Lonely • Blue Road Dance • Tweaker • Link • Driftwood • Methuselah • Nettles • Larkspur • See No Evil • iNtRUsioNs • Breadcrumbs • Transmission Ends

How the Doctor Changed My Life	Homework • Change Management • Curiosity • Potential • Second Chances • Child's Play • Relativity • Outstanding Balance • The Last Thing You Ever See • The Shopping Trolleys of Doom • The Final Star • The Man on the Phone • The Monster in the Wardrobe • Suns and Mothers • Taking the Cure • Those Left Behind • Evitability • £436 • Time Shear • Running on Empty • Swamp of Horrors (1957) - Viewing Notes • Insider Dealing • The Andrew Invasion • Stolen Days • Lares Domestici

Christmas Around the World	Planet of the Elves • Exclave • A Visit from Saint Nicholas • Instead of You • Christmas Every Day • Mirth, or Walking Spirits • Do You Smell Carrots? • The Doctor's Cross Word • Dateline to Deadline • Autaia Pipipi Pia • No Room • Interesting Times • Revellers of Doom • Lost and Founded • The Best of Days • Conscription • Christmas in Toronto • Companion • Illumination • White on White

Indefinable Magic	Phoenix • The Power Supply • Favourite Star • Hiccup in Time • Shamans • The Fall of the Druids • Priceless Junk • Have You Tried Turning It Off and Then Back On Again? • The Reign Makers • Pass It On • The Science of Magic • Hello Goodbye • Trial by Fire • Death Sentences • Once upon a Time Machine • Mardi Gras Massacre • Blessed Are the Peacemakers

Re:Collections	I Was a Monster!!! • Apocrypha Bipedium • Face-Painter • The Glass Princess • The Ruins of Heaven • The Thief of Sherwood • The Age of Ambition • The Dead Man's Story • Flashpoint • Thinking Warrior • All Our Christmases • Suitors, Inc. • How You Get There • Venus • The Lampblack Wars • Life After Queth • Checkpoint • The Avant Guardian • Museum Peace • Midnight in the Café of the Black Madonna • The Glarn Strategy • Dear Great Uncle Peter • Losing the Audience • The Spindle of Necessity • Lonely • Lares Domestici • Lost and Founded • The Fall of the Druids

Dalek prose stories

For the purposes of this list, a "Dalek prose story" is one in which one living, authentic Dalek plays a part within the confines of the story, outside of flashbacks to previous stories and cliffhangers that lead into the following story.

Dalek annuals

The Dalek Book	Red for Danger • The Secret of the Mountain • The Small Defender • Break-through!

The Dalek World	The Secret Struggle • The Five-Leaf Clover • The Dalekreed • The Log of the "Gypsy Joe" • What To Do If A Dalek Attacks You! • Manhunt

The Dalek Outer Space Book	Dalek Saturn Probe • The Outlaw Planet • The Living Death • Diamond Dust • The Great Mercury Plot

Terry Nation's Dalek Annual 1976	Terror Task Force • Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! • Nightmare • Timechase

Terry Nation's Dalek Annual 1977	The Doomsday Machine • Report from an Unknown Planet • The Fugitive

Terry Nation's Dalek Annual 1978	The Castaway • The Seeds of Destruction • Assassination Squad

Doctor Who Magazine

Heliotrope Bouquet

Doctor Who
Poster Magazine

Davros • Special Daleks • Background • The Shoreditch Incident

Virgin New Adventures

GodEngine

BBC Eighth
Doctor Adventures

War of the Daleks • Legacy of the Daleks

Telos Doctor Who
novellas

The Dalek Factor

Quick Reads

I Am a Dalek

Doctor Who Files

Mission to Galacton • Birth of a Legend

Short Trips

Natalie's Diary • Alby • The Best Joke I Ever Told • Hide and Seek • The Eighth Wonder of the World • Mutually Assured Survival • Museum Peace

BBC New
Series Adventures

Prisoner of the Daleks • The Dalek Generation • Engines of War

Puffin eshort

The Ripple Effect

NSA anthologies

A Prologue • Master Faustus • The Stranger • The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes • The Jeopardy of Solar Proximity • The Monster in the Woods • The Third Wise Man • Father of the Daleks

The Brilliant Book 2011

The Lost Diaries of Winston Spencer Churchill • The New Dalek Paradigm • The History of the Stone Totems

Dr. Men

Dr. Fourth

Now We Are Six Hundred

Dalek • Harriet Jones, PM

Dalek: The Astounding
Untold History of the
Greatest Enemies
of the Universe

The Astounding Untold History of the Greatest Enemies of the Universe • The Dalek Invasion of Toyshops • Infection of the Daleks • Lost Patrol • War and Peace

Time Lord Victorious

The Guide to the Dark Times • The Restoration Empire • The Last Message • Mission to the Known • All Flesh is Grass

Others

Doctor Who and the Daleks • Daleks Invade Zaos • Doctor Who and the Time War

Because of the ubiquity of this race, no attempt will be made here to list every appearance in every medium. Instead, we focus on prose appearances here, and invite you to explore a complete list of appearances elsewhere.

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The Best Joke I Ever Told (short story): Difference between revisions

Revision as of 19:49, 9 November 2023

Summary

Characters

Worldbuilding

Notes

Continuity

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