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{{Infobox Story SMW
{{Infobox Story
|image          = Beige Planet Mars.jpg
|name= Beige Planet Mars  
|series         = [[Virgin New Adventures]]
|image= Beige_Planet_Mars.jpg  
|range          = Virgin New Adventures
|series= [[Virgin Bernice Summerfield New Adventures|Virgin <br /> Bernice Summerfield New Adventures]]
|number in range = 77
|number= 16
|number          = 77
|main character= [[Bernice Summerfield]]
|main character = [[Bernice Summerfield]]
|featuring= [[Jason Kane]]
|featuring       = [[Jason Kane|Jason]], [[Megali Scoblow|Scoblow]], [[Saldaamir]]
|enemy=  
|enemy           = [[Phillip York|Phillip]] and [[Christina York|Christina]]
|year= [[Mars]], [[2595]]  
|setting        = [[Mars]], [[2595]]
|writer= [[Lance Parkin]] and [[Mark Clapham]]
|writer         = Lance Parkin, Mark Clapham
|publisher= [[Virgin Books]]
|cover          = [[Mark Salwowski]]
|release date= [[October]], [[1998]]
|publisher       = Virgin Books
|format= Paperback Book, 242 Pages  
|release date   = 15 October 1998
|isbn= ISBN 0-426-20529-4  
|format         = Paperback Book, 242 Pages
|prev= Another Girl, Another Planet (novel)  
|isbn           = ISBN 0-426-20529-4
|next= Where Angels Fear (novel)}}
|prev           = Another Girl, Another Planet (novel)
'''''Beige Planet Mars''''' is the sixteenth [[Virgin Bernice Summerfield New Adventures]] novel. It features [[Bernice Summerfield]] and [[Jason Kane]]. This is the first novel to feature excerpts of Jason Kane's [[xenopornography]] literature based on his experiences first mentioned in ''[[Death and Diplomacy (novel)|Death and Diplomacy]]''.
|next           = Where Angels Fear (novel)
}}{{prose stub}}
'''''Beige Planet Mars''''' was the sixteenth [[Virgin New Adventures]] novel. It featured [[Bernice Summerfield]] and [[Jason Kane]]. This was the first novel to feature excerpts of Jason's [[xenopornography]] [[literature]] based on his experiences first mentioned in ''[[Death and Diplomacy (novel)|Death and Diplomacy]]''.


== Publisher's summary ==
== Publisher's summary ==
''"Professor Summerfield, your very presence here has raised this hotel's insurance premiums by seven point two percent."''
''"[[Bernice Summerfield|Professor Summerfield]], your very presence here has raised this hotel's insurance premiums by seven point two percent."''


It is the year 2595. Mars, once the distant target of humanity's ambitions in space, has been colonised for five hundred years. To mark the anniversary, the planet's university is holding an academic conference. Naturally, esteemed expert on Martian archaeology Bernice Summerfield is invited to present a paper based on her long career in this field.
It is the year [[2595]]. [[Mars]], once the distant target of [[human]]ity's ambitions in space, has been colonised for five hundred years. To mark the anniversary, the planet's [[university]] is holding an academic conference. Naturally, esteemed expert on Martian archaeology Bernice Summerfield is invited to present a paper based on her long career in this field.


But other matters distract Bernice from academia. Decades ago, hostile aliens invaded Mars. At their moment of greatest need, Mars' human population was betrayed by its leader. And although the occupation was swiftly ended, the anger of those who fought to save Mars still runs deep.
But other matters distract Bernice from academia. Decades ago, [[Dalek|hostile aliens]] invaded Mars. At their moment of greatest need, Mars' human population was betrayed by its leader. And although the occupation was swiftly ended, the anger of those who fought to save Mars still runs deep.


So when a veteran of the war is found dead, old wounds are reopened. Bernice finds herself investigating a murder with the least reliable of allies — and soon discovers that the consequences of the Siege of Mars are far from being ancient history.
So when a veteran of the war is found dead, old wounds are reopened. Bernice finds herself investigating a [[murder]] with the least reliable of allies — and soon discovers that the consequences of the Siege of Mars are far from being ancient history.


== Chapter titles ==
* Prologue: World of the Wars
# Planet of War
# Lobby Politics
# On the Internal Dynamics of Parties
# Wake Up, Sweet Benny
# The Past Catches Up
# Interlewd
# Drunk in Charge of an Imbecile
# Kane Unable
# Whizz Kids and Gratuitous Nudity
# Pensioner Mugged by Lizard
# Benny Comes to an Interesting Conclusion
# Mutually Assured Destruction
# Catch
# Implausible Deniability
# Fish and Ships
# Apocalypse Wow
* Epilogue: If You're So Rich, Why Aren't You Clever?


== Plot ==
== Plot ==
Line 35: Line 57:
* [[Bernice Summerfield]]
* [[Bernice Summerfield]]
* [[Jason Kane]]
* [[Jason Kane]]
* Seez
* Soaz
* [[Karina Tellassar|Professor Elizabeth K. Trinity/Karina Tellassar]]
* [[Megali Scoblow|Professor Megali Scoblow]]
* [[Megali Scoblow|Professor Megali Scoblow]]
* [[Isaac Deniken]]
* [[Isaac Deniken]]
* [[Skeez]] & [[Scoaz]]
* [[Karina Tellassar|Professor Elizabeth K. Trinity/Karina Tellassar]]
* [[Gerald Makhno]]
* [[Gerald Makhno]]
* [[Phillip York]] & [[Christina York]]
* [[Phillip York]]
* [[Christina York]]
* CATCH
* [[Saldaamir]]
* [[Saldaamir]]
* General Keele
* Ellias Cromwell


== References ==
== Worldbuilding ==
=== Botany ===
=== Botany ===
* According to Jason, Professor Scoblow's tail smells of [[wood]] shavings.
* According to Jason, Professor Scoblow's tail smells of [[wood]] shavings.


=== Corporations ===
=== Corporations ===
Line 53: Line 79:
=== Foods and beverages ===
=== Foods and beverages ===
* Benny and Isaac drink [[RedStar]] (Martian [[Vodka]]).
* Benny and Isaac drink [[RedStar]] (Martian [[Vodka]]).


=== Individuals ===
=== Individuals ===
* [[Bernice Summerfield]] has [[sex]] with Jason.
* Benny has [[sex]] with Jason.
* Benny knows how to dive.
* In the last ten years Benny has rubbed the [[Droge]] of [[Gabrielides]] up the wrong way when she refused to marry him; insulted the Master of the [[Fifth Galaxy]]; and "that business" with Lord Herring on [[Sqakker's World]].
* The last time Benny was on Mars was when she was twenty-four with a guy named Tim.
* During a hangover, Benny recalls using the word "[[clitoris]]" on the previous night, but could not remember the context.
* [[Jason Kane]] has sex with while he's at the hotel. He has been having sex with Professor Scoblow for a little while.
* [[Megali Scoblow|Professor Megali Scoblow]] is a [[Pakhar]]. Her original Pakhar name was ''Sk'o'bel'ou''.
* When Benny attends the opening parts of the conference, there is a reference to the [[Fourth Doctor]], [[Romana II]] and [[K9]]: "She (Benny) negotiated her way past a curly-haired man, his blonde companion and their robot dog."
* [[Karina Tellassar|Professor Elizabeth K. Trinity/Karina Tellassar]] is a very spry eighty year old.
* Tellassar is hated among veterans from the [[Dalek]]s' attack as the betrayer of Mars.
* [[Gerald Makhno]] is a fan of Bernice Summerfield's work. He would like to (but doesn't) shag Benny.
 


=== Literature ===
=== Literature ===
* This is the debut of Jason Kane's [[xenopornography]].
* This is the debut of Jason Kane's [[xenopornography]], inluding ''[[Nights of the Perfumed Tentacle]]''.
:* ''[[Nights of the Perfumed Tentacle]]'' By Jason Kane
* Benny's sequel to ''[[Down Among the Dead Men]]'' is still called ''[[So Vast a Pile]]''.
* Benny's sequel to ''[[Down Among the Dead Men]]'' is still called ''[[So Vast a Pile]]''.
* Professor Elizabeth K. Trinity is a professor and writer of books about [[Mars]], in particular ''[[A History of Mars]]'' (which Benny claims the author "treats her readers like morons").
* Professor Elizabeth K. Trinity is a professor and writer of books about [[Mars]], in particular ''[[A History of Mars]]''.
 


=== Planets ===
=== Planets ===
* Isaac Deniken asks Benny about [[Tyler's Folly]], as he spent some time there.
* Trinity and her academics debated economics in the shadows of the great spires of [[Denkam]].
* [[Vandor Prime]] was the planet on which [[Claire Summerfield]] died.


=== Species ===
=== Species ===
* [[Xlanthi]] are mentioned (in great detail); however the only one that actually appears turns out to be a guy in a high tech suit.
* [[Xlanthi]] are mentioned.
* Trinity asks Benny about the [[Argyre Clan]]. The nuclear explosion which wiped them out is also mentioned.
* [[Jeff Mett]] was killed by a [[Chelonian]] pilot smuggling drugs for genetic disorders. Scoblow and Trinity met on the ice plains of [[Prashant]] to discuss Chelonian floral culture.
 


=== Titles and offices ===
=== Titles and offices ===
Line 87: Line 103:
== Notes ==
== Notes ==
* This novel was written basically because [[Rebecca Levene]] told Lance Parkin over lunch that they needed a Benny book in six weeks.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://gallifreyone.com/interview.php?id=parkin|title=Interview with Lance Parkin Interview|author=Graeme Burk|date of source=April/May 2001|website name=Outpost Gallifrey|accessdate= 20 November 2009|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20050302200552/gallifreyone.com/interview.php?id=parkin|archivedate=2 March 2005}} </ref>
* This novel was written basically because [[Rebecca Levene]] told Lance Parkin over lunch that they needed a Benny book in six weeks.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://gallifreyone.com/interview.php?id=parkin|title=Interview with Lance Parkin Interview|author=Graeme Burk|date of source=April/May 2001|website name=Outpost Gallifrey|accessdate= 20 November 2009|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20050302200552/gallifreyone.com/interview.php?id=parkin|archivedate=2 March 2005}} </ref>
* Parkin has noted about the writing of this novel:{{simplequote|he ([[Mark Clapham]]) had this Benny plot and characters looking for a story and a setting, and I had a Benny story and a setting, but no plot or characters. And we slapped them together and that was ''Beige Planet Mars''. I honestly can't remember who wrote some bits of it. We're on the same wavelength on most things. ...I really enjoyed it, but it was written quickly, it was written when we were both busy with a million other things. And we got to three chapters before the end, and then realised we had not even the slightest clue how to end the book. Which is readily apparent to everyone that's read it.|Lance Parkin<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/news/cult/news/drwho/2004/01/01/13699.shtml|title=Interview with Lance Parkin|author=Lance Parkin|date of source=01 January 2004|website name= BBC - Doctor Who - News|accessdate=24 December 2011|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20100701062118/http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/news/cult/news/drwho/2004/01/01/13699.shtml|archivedate=1 July 2010}}</ref>}}
* Parkin has noted about the writing of this novel:{{quote|He ([[Mark Clapham]]) had this Benny plot and characters looking for a story and a setting, and I had a Benny story and a setting, but no plot or characters. And we slapped them together and that was ''Beige Planet Mars''. I honestly can't remember who wrote some bits of it. We're on the same wavelength on most things. ... I really enjoyed it, but it was written quickly, it was written when we were both busy with a million other things. And we got to three chapters before the end, and then realised we had not even the slightest clue how to end the book. Which is readily apparent to everyone that's read it.|Lance Parkin<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/news/cult/news/drwho/2004/01/01/13699.shtml|title=Interview with Lance Parkin|author=Lance Parkin|date of source=01 January 2004|website name= BBC - Doctor Who - News|accessdate=24 December 2011|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20100701062118/http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/news/cult/news/drwho/2004/01/01/13699.shtml|archivedate=1 July 2010}}</ref>}}
* This novel is referred to in [[Wikipedia:Oliver Morton (science writer)|Oliver Morton]]'s factual book, "Mapping Mars". A footnote on page 208 refers to BPM as "...a volume in the interminable 'New Adventures' series of ''Doctor Who'' spin-offs...".<ref>"Mapping Mars", Oliver Morton, 4th Estate paperback edition, ISBN 1-84115-669-8 </ref>
* This novel is referred to in {{w|Oliver Morton (science writer)|Oliver Morton}}'s factual book, "Mapping Mars". A footnote on page 208 refers to BPM as "...a volume in the interminable 'New Adventures' series of ''Doctor Who'' spin-offs...".<ref>"Mapping Mars", Oliver Morton, 4th Estate paperback edition, ISBN 1-84115-669-8 </ref>
 
* When Benny attends the opening parts of the conference, there is a reference to the [[Fourth Doctor]], [[Romana II]] and [[K9]]: "She (Benny) negotiated her way past a curly-haired man, his blonde companion and their robot dog." The story also references the [[old man (Beige Planet Mars)|42nd Doctor]] and [[Teenage girl (Beige Planet Mars)|his wife Iffy]] from Parkin's deleted epilogue to ''[[The Dying Days (novel)|The Dying Days]]''.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://lanceparkin.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/eulogy-of-the-daleks/|title=Eulogy of the Daleks|date of source=26 August 2013|author=Lance Parkin|accessdate=9 April 2019}}</ref>


== Continuity ==
== Continuity ==
* Jason was a prostitute (among other things) before he met Benny in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Death and Diplomacy (novel)|Death and Diplomacy]]''.
* Jason was a prostitute (among other things) before he met Benny in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Death and Diplomacy (novel)|Death and Diplomacy]]''.
* Tyler's Folly appeared in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Down (novel)|Down]]''.
* [[Tyler's Folly]] appeared in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Down (novel)|Down]]''.
* Pakhars first appeared in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Legacy (novel)|Legacy]]''.
* [[Pakhar]]s first appeared in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Legacy (novel)|Legacy]]''.
* The first stages of the Dalek's invasion of Mars were seen in [[PROSE]]: ''[[GodEngine (novel)|GodEngine]]''.
* The first stages of the [[Dalek invasion of Mars]] were seen in [[PROSE]]: ''[[GodEngine (novel)|GodEngine]]''.
* The Argyre Clan and the nuclear explosion, and how Benny knows so much about both (is because she was around for most of it) in [[PROSE]]: ''[[The Dying Days (novel)|The Dying Days]]''.
* The [[Argyre clan]] and the nuclear explosion, and how Benny knows so much about both, is from [[PROSE]]: ''[[The Dying Days (novel)|The Dying Days]]''.
* Tim (Benny's friend) was first mentioned in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Lucifer Rising (novel)|Lucifer Rising]]''.
* Benny's friend Tim was first mentioned in [[PROSE]]: ''[[Lucifer Rising (novel)|Lucifer Rising]]''.


== External links ==
== External links ==
* {{dwrefguide|who_na77.htm|Beige Planet Mars}}
{{dwrefguide|who_na77.htm|Beige Planet Mars}}
* {{whoniverse|bs16.php|Beige Planet Mars}}
 
* {{whoniverse|na77|Beige Planet Mars}}
* [https://mysite.science.uottawa.ca/rsmith43/cloister/beig.htm The Cloister Library: '''Beige Planet Mars''']


== Footnotes ==
== Footnotes ==
{{reflist}}
{{reflist}}
{{BNA}}
{{BNA}}{{Ice Warrior stories}}
{{TitleSort}}
{{TitleSort}}


[[Category:Bernice Summerfield stories]]
[[Category:Bernice Summerfield sources]]
[[Category:1998 novels]]
[[Category:1998 novels]]
[[Category:BNA novels]]
[[Category:BNA novels]]
[[Category:Stories set on Mars]]
[[Category:Novels set on Mars]]
[[Category:Stories set in the 26th century]]
[[Category:Stories set in 2595]]

Latest revision as of 20:41, 27 November 2023

RealWorld.png

prose stub

Beige Planet Mars was the sixteenth Virgin New Adventures novel. It featured Bernice Summerfield and Jason Kane. This was the first novel to feature excerpts of Jason's xenopornography literature based on his experiences first mentioned in Death and Diplomacy.

Publisher's summary[[edit] | [edit source]]

"Professor Summerfield, your very presence here has raised this hotel's insurance premiums by seven point two percent."

It is the year 2595. Mars, once the distant target of humanity's ambitions in space, has been colonised for five hundred years. To mark the anniversary, the planet's university is holding an academic conference. Naturally, esteemed expert on Martian archaeology Bernice Summerfield is invited to present a paper based on her long career in this field.

But other matters distract Bernice from academia. Decades ago, hostile aliens invaded Mars. At their moment of greatest need, Mars' human population was betrayed by its leader. And although the occupation was swiftly ended, the anger of those who fought to save Mars still runs deep.

So when a veteran of the war is found dead, old wounds are reopened. Bernice finds herself investigating a murder with the least reliable of allies — and soon discovers that the consequences of the Siege of Mars are far from being ancient history.

Chapter titles[[edit] | [edit source]]

  • Prologue: World of the Wars
  1. Planet of War
  2. Lobby Politics
  3. On the Internal Dynamics of Parties
  4. Wake Up, Sweet Benny
  5. The Past Catches Up
  6. Interlewd
  7. Drunk in Charge of an Imbecile
  8. Kane Unable
  9. Whizz Kids and Gratuitous Nudity
  10. Pensioner Mugged by Lizard
  11. Benny Comes to an Interesting Conclusion
  12. Mutually Assured Destruction
  13. Catch
  14. Implausible Deniability
  15. Fish and Ships
  16. Apocalypse Wow
  • Epilogue: If You're So Rich, Why Aren't You Clever?

Plot[[edit] | [edit source]]

to be added

Characters[[edit] | [edit source]]

Worldbuilding[[edit] | [edit source]]

Botany[[edit] | [edit source]]

  • According to Jason, Professor Scoblow's tail smells of wood shavings.

Corporations[[edit] | [edit source]]

  • Christina and Phillip York own YorkCorp (which owns most of Mars), but were facing a hostile takeover by the Bantu Corporation.

Foods and beverages[[edit] | [edit source]]

Individuals[[edit] | [edit source]]

  • Benny has sex with Jason.
  • In the last ten years Benny has rubbed the Droge of Gabrielides up the wrong way when she refused to marry him; insulted the Master of the Fifth Galaxy; and "that business" with Lord Herring on Sqakker's World.
  • During a hangover, Benny recalls using the word "clitoris" on the previous night, but could not remember the context.

Literature[[edit] | [edit source]]

Planets[[edit] | [edit source]]

Species[[edit] | [edit source]]

  • Xlanthi are mentioned.
  • Jeff Mett was killed by a Chelonian pilot smuggling drugs for genetic disorders. Scoblow and Trinity met on the ice plains of Prashant to discuss Chelonian floral culture.

Titles and offices[[edit] | [edit source]]

Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]

  • This novel was written basically because Rebecca Levene told Lance Parkin over lunch that they needed a Benny book in six weeks.[1]
  • Parkin has noted about the writing of this novel:

    He (Mark Clapham) had this Benny plot and characters looking for a story and a setting, and I had a Benny story and a setting, but no plot or characters. And we slapped them together and that was Beige Planet Mars. I honestly can't remember who wrote some bits of it. We're on the same wavelength on most things. ... I really enjoyed it, but it was written quickly, it was written when we were both busy with a million other things. And we got to three chapters before the end, and then realised we had not even the slightest clue how to end the book. Which is readily apparent to everyone that's read it.Lance Parkin[2]

  • This novel is referred to in Oliver Morton's factual book, "Mapping Mars". A footnote on page 208 refers to BPM as "...a volume in the interminable 'New Adventures' series of Doctor Who spin-offs...".[3]
  • When Benny attends the opening parts of the conference, there is a reference to the Fourth Doctor, Romana II and K9: "She (Benny) negotiated her way past a curly-haired man, his blonde companion and their robot dog." The story also references the 42nd Doctor and his wife Iffy from Parkin's deleted epilogue to The Dying Days.[4]

Continuity[[edit] | [edit source]]

External links[[edit] | [edit source]]

Footnotes[[edit] | [edit source]]

  1. ↑ Graeme Burk (April/May 2001). Interview with Lance Parkin Interview. Outpost Gallifrey. Archived from the original on 2 March 2005. Retrieved on 20 November 2009.
  2. ↑ Lance Parkin (01 January 2004). Interview with Lance Parkin. BBC - Doctor Who - News. Archived from the original on 1 July 2010. Retrieved on 24 December 2011.
  3. ↑ "Mapping Mars", Oliver Morton, 4th Estate paperback edition, ISBN 1-84115-669-8
  4. ↑ Lance Parkin (26 August 2013). Eulogy of the Daleks. Retrieved on 9 April 2019.
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