Auteur's Abecedarium (short story)

Auteur's Abecedarium
Main character(s):	Celebration-665
Main enemy:	Auteur
Main setting:	The Cupid Homeworld, December 2020
Key crew
Editor:	Aristide Twain
Writer:	Jacob Black
Illustrator:	Jacob Black
Release details
Release date:	14 December 2020

Auteur's Abecedarium was a 2020 online short story written and illustrated by Jacob Black, featuring the licensed use of his Faction Paradox character Auteur.

The story was also an official crossover between the Doctor Who universe and the continuity of The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, on whose official website it was released as part of the series' 2020 Advent Calendar. A day later, a "slightly-augemented special edition" was released on Issuu.

Publisher's summary

Advent calendar version

Being an exclusive crossover interlude
to "The Time of the Toymaker";
wherein which it is proven that the
oral hygiene of gift horses ought to be
investigated with careful circumspection;
that the Doctor Who universe is overflowing with books
which, if read but once, will change everything;
and that Pythagoras-858 should never be allowed
to leave the crew without supervision for any
extended periods of time if he likes to come back
to a homeworld that's still in one piece.

Issuu version

Solo edition of the 2020 crossover between "The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids" and the "Doctor Who" universe, featuring a licensed appearance by the DWU character of Auteur. Written & illustrated by Jacob Black. This edition contains additional material not present in the website version.

Plot

A few days before Christmas in 2020, a gift is found in the Cupid Homeworld, a pocket dimension inhabited by Clockwork Cherubs. One of them, Carter-1277, tears off its wrapping and discovers that it is a large book — a freshly-written abecedarium. The Cherubs summon Lord Thymon, a time-demon from the Void Between Worlds, and ask for his opinion.

Thymon identifies the book as coming from the Third Universe, and warns the Cherubs that whoever caused it to materialise in their dimension must have fearsome "metatemporal capabilities". However, one Clockwork Cherub, Celebration-665, head of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids' Department of Festivities, convinces the others that the appearance of the book is surely a Christmas miracle. He not only advocates for the opening of the book, but sets up a dramatic reading of it.

However, partway through the reading, Celebration finds himself relaying an interdimensional warning, which describes itself as being broadcast "on all psychic, telepathic and metamedial networks", which implores whoever receives it not to let Auteur get access to one's reality's story. Celebration does not realise he has spoken anything other than the text of the book, but his audience are not so oblivious, and thus fail to laugh or applaud.

Without bothering to explain what has happened to Celebration, another Clockwork Cherub, Bibliophile-962, confiscates the book, which he pledges to bury in one of the restricted sections of the Cupid Archives. Celebration then wins back the crowd by offering to invite them to a party at his home, where he promises cake for everyone. Thus, "and just like that, all was forgotten"... At least, "as far as the Cupids are concerned". Then, out of nowhere, strange laughter emanates...

Characters

• Auteur
• Thymon
• Carter-1277
• Celebration-665
• Thespian-315
• Bibliophile-962
• Larrikin-1029

References

Items

• Thespian-315 owns a gilded lectern.
• Larrikin is "excited" by the mention of a skull.

Locations

• Auteur's book mentions "Atlantis, sunk beneath the mire" as well as the terms "Aeris", "Arisian" and "Berahima".
• The Interdimensional Black Market is a bazaar that is home to Harpies.
• Kragza's only landmark is a set of nine peaks.
• The garbled telepathic warning appears to refer to the Spire as a "Bride of Discord and Lie".

Organisations

• Pythagoras-858 and Juliet-178 are the top members of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids' Department of Problem-Solving.

Retconning Crocodiles

• The Retconning Crocodiles, also known as the Collective of Retconning Crocodiles, are metatemporal activists.
• As they are biologically crocodiles, they cannot write in an aesthetically pleasing manner.

Species

• The Wellsians once engaged in a war that was halted by "their own blood’s revolt".

Universes

• The Cupid Homeworld is a pocket dimension.
• Auteur's Abecedarium is recognised by Thymon as hailing from "the Third Universe", as opposed to the Prime Universe.
• Thymon used to be the Embodiment of Time in the Void Between Worlds.
• Auteur's book mentions the Multiverse as well as the Euclidean plane, a world of "angles, shapework and geometric sheen", inhabited by the Geometrons, who are "all angles and no mass".

Individuals

• Jacob Black provided an illustration of Auteur.
• Auteur was played by [REDACTED] on the BBC television series, F[REDACTED] P[REDACTED], between 2067 and 7898.

Notes

• The story was billed as an "exclusive crossover interlude" to the then-ongoing multi-chapter Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids prose story The Time of the Toymaker. The story depicted an adventure by Juliet-178 and Pythagoras-858, referenced in Auteur's Abecedarium as being absent from the Cupid Homeworld on "official business", which suggests that Auteur's Abecedarium, from the perspective of the Clockwork Cherubs' continuity, takes place concurrently to The Time of the Toymaker.
• In the Issuu version, the addition of Auteur's laughter at the end of the story implies that he was narrating the story all along.

Continuity

• Auteur describes himself in the Abecedarium as "scribbling in his Spire". His shadow skin is mentioned. (PROSE: A Bloody (And Public) Domaine)
• The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids are familiar with Retconning Crocodiles. (PROSE: A Worthy Successor)
• The home universe of Auteur and his book is recognised by Lord Thymon as "the Third Universe". (AUDIO: Quinnis)

External links

• Auteur's Abecedarium at The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids
• Auteur's Abecedarium at Goblin Studios at Issuu