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Swipe Right was the first story in the audio anthology Star-Crossed, produced by Big Finish Productions. It was written by John Dorney and featured Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor and Alex Kingston as River Song.
Publisher's summary
There are strange rumours about the planet Crell. People have been vanishing. The mysterious Matchmaker is keen to get the populace paired up via his special dating app… but rejecting too many suitors can have fatal consequences.
It's precisely the sort of thing the Doctor would want to investigate. But unfortunately it's also precisely the sort of thing River Song would want to investigate too. The Doctor and River are on a collision course - but this time it might not be a match made in heaven.
Plot
The Doctor arrives at Barclay and Natalie's restaurant on Crell and is seated with Beth when he pretends to be meeting someone given that, like all other restaurants on Crell, they only serve couples. He pretends to be Julien, her date, and learns from her that the disappearances on the planet are due to the Matchmaker. She begrudgingly takes a napkin with his telephone number on when she leaves and, after the Doctor heads to the TARDIS to investigate the Matchmaker, River arrives and briefly speaks with the real Julien. River too is looking into the Matchmaker and assumes that Julien is being hyperbolic when he tells her that he will die if the date does not work out. Once she leaves, Barclay and Natalie report that the date was a failure despite Julien begging them not to and robots go after him and Beth.
River flees with Julien to his flat after retrieving her diary, having left it behind, and the Doctor saves Beth in the TARDIS when she calls him for help. Beth explains how the Matchmaker's dating app forces people into relationships under pain of death and that she accidentally passed her limit of rejecting suitors due to her not wanting to burden anybody with her asexuality, prompting the Doctor to try to match with her to keep her safe just as River tries to do with Julien. However, the system recognises that the two time travellers are married and the confused Doctor flies the TARDIS to River to find out who she is. He saves her and Julien from the robots and refuses to believe that he will marry River in a future incarnation, instead reasoning that she has been lying to get his attention. She claims that he is correct.
to be completed
Cast
Worldbuilding
- Paul is 37, works in finance and has a photograph in which he is posing next to a sedated marsh tiger.
- Graham is 46.
- Matt is 35 and works in education. He exercises.
- Natalie likes her steak well done. Barclay disapproves.
- Natalie is a restaurant manager.
- The Doctor mentions that Herman Melville once stowed away with him.
- The Doctor has seen the original stage production of Fiddler on the Roof.
- According to River, champagne which does not come from the Champagne region of the Crab Nebula is just sparkling wine.
- Michael is 41.
- Beth is asexual.
- River mentions a robot on Distrana Maxima who "knew how to treat a lady".
Notes
Continuity
- The Doctor mentions that some of his best friends were robots. (TV: The Invisible Enemy [+]Loading...["The Invisible Enemy (TV story)"], The King's Demons [+]Loading...["The King's Demons (TV story)"])
External links
- Official Swipe Right page at bigfinish.com