Party Kill Accelerator! (short story): Difference between revisions
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{{Infobox Story | {{Infobox Story SMW | ||
|range = The Panda Book of Horror (anthology) | |range = The Panda Book of Horror (anthology) | ||
|number in range = #5 | |number in range = #5 | ||
|image = Bidmead Iris and Panda in rain.jpg | |||
|setting = [[Zona Oscura Festival]] | |||
|main character = {{Manning}}, [[Panda]] | |||
|featuring = [[Theo Possible]], [[Ceol|Kelsey]] | |||
|enemy = [[Jimmy the Mandrill]] | |||
|writer = Blair Bidmead | |||
|release date = 12 December 2009 | |||
|number = 5 | |||
|publisher = Obverse Books | |||
|format = Short story | |||
|genre = Science fiction, horror, comedy | |||
|anthology = The Panda Book of Horror (anthology) | |||
|citation series = ''[[Iris Wildthyme (series)|Iris Wildthyme]]'' | |||
|series = ''[[The Panda Book of Horror (anthology)|The Panda Book of Horror]]'' | |series = ''[[The Panda Book of Horror (anthology)|The Panda Book of Horror]]'' | ||
|prev = The Party in Room Four (short story) | |prev = The Party in Room Four (short story) | ||
|next = Apocalypse Slough (short story) | |next = Apocalypse Slough (short story) | ||
}} | }} | ||
'''''Party Kill Accelerator!''''' was the fifth story in the ''[[Iris Wildthyme (series)|Iris Wildthyme]]'' anthology ''[[The Panda Book of Horror (anthology)|The Panda Book of Horror]]''. It was written by [[Blair Bidmead]] | '''''Party Kill Accelerator!''''' was the fifth story in the ''[[Iris Wildthyme (series)|Iris Wildthyme]]'' anthology ''[[The Panda Book of Horror (anthology)|The Panda Book of Horror]]''. It was written by [[Blair Bidmead]]. | ||
This story was notable for being the first appearance of [[Theo Possible]] and [[Ceol|Kelsey]] who would both later make several other appearances with Kelsey playing a major role in the novel ''[[Weapons Grade Snake Oil (novel)|Weapons Grade Snake Oil]]''. | |||
== Plot == | == Plot == | ||
On the cusp of [[night]] and [[day]], {{Manning|c}} and Panda trundle their way through thick, grey | On the cusp of [[night]] and [[day]], {{Manning|c}} and Panda trundle their way through thick, grey [[mud]], following directions written on the back of a [[cigarette]] packet to the [[Zona Oscura Festival]]. They arrive at their destination, with a [[Ron (Party Kill Accelerator!)|doorman]] granting them access, and giving them [[VIP]] [[lanyard]]s. | ||
Panda, fed up with the mud and the walking, insists that they purchase drinks. So they head to [[Madame Moiré's Burlesque Escapade]], and as Iris fails to explain to Panda about why [[Jimmy the Mandrill]] invited them in the first place, he is captivated by a rotund [[stripper]], Ms [[Carmen Tranquil]]. Iris leaves Panda to show his affection to Carmen and she heads to the VIP tent. | Panda, fed up with the mud and the walking, insists that they purchase drinks. So they head to [[Madame Moiré's Burlesque Escapade]], and as Iris fails to explain to Panda about why [[Jimmy the Mandrill]] invited them in the first place, he is captivated by a rotund [[stripper]], Ms [[Carmen Tranquil]]. Iris leaves Panda to show his affection to Carmen and she heads to the VIP tent. | ||
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Panda and Carmen then hear screaming until its silenced by roaring of the Beast, as the Beast tears apart all sorts of individuals. The duo run away. | Panda and Carmen then hear screaming until its silenced by roaring of the Beast, as the Beast tears apart all sorts of individuals. The duo run away. | ||
Iris tries to use her "whatchamacallit", but as it gives off odd [[reading]]s, she assumes it's | Iris tries to use her "whatchamacallit", but as it gives off odd [[reading]]s, she assumes it's glitching due to being [[water|wet]]. She heads inside a tent to dry it off, encountering an audience of [[robot]]s, [[cyborg]]s, and outdated [[Servo-furnishing|Servo Furnishings]]. They're watching a display of [[Poeticnology]], being performed by a simple [[fax machine]]. In one corner of the tent, [[Cyborg (Party Kill Accelerator!)|a cyborg]] burns its [[mouth]] with a [[blow-torch]], and Iris asks it to let her use the tool. | ||
[[Ceol|Kelsey]] drives a [[quad-bike]] behind the tents, bumping into Panda and Carmen. Upon asking what they're running from, Kelsey drives off in the direction of the Beast. | [[Ceol|Kelsey]] drives a [[quad-bike]] behind the tents, bumping into Panda and Carmen. Upon asking what they're running from, Kelsey drives off in the direction of the Beast. | ||
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The previous night, Iris had intended to go out, but had instead spent the night with Panda watching David Attenborough. In the tape, there was a remnant of an old advert, from which an idea of the Beast lodged in Iris' subconscious. Kelsey realises that they're aren't in the [[material world]], which the Beast, or rather Jimmy the Mandrill, confirms. | The previous night, Iris had intended to go out, but had instead spent the night with Panda watching David Attenborough. In the tape, there was a remnant of an old advert, from which an idea of the Beast lodged in Iris' subconscious. Kelsey realises that they're aren't in the [[material world]], which the Beast, or rather Jimmy the Mandrill, confirms. | ||
Panda goes to grab Carmen's hand, be she flings him backwards, sending him crashing into Theo's DJ booth. Standing up, he goes to leave, not before explaining that the Zona Oscura is situated between conceptual and material planes, a haven for lost ideas, born from the [[biomass]] that is the mud. Jimmy threatens to eat Iris, as the more people he eats, the more real he becomes. Facing her imminent fate as Jimmy's dinner, Iris sings her swan sing with Theo, which was a momentous event that went down in [[history]]. The tremendous performance even distracts Jimmy, who gets crushed along with Carmen by the giant mirror ball, which Kelsey loosened from the ceiling. | |||
Making their way outside to the car park, Theo gives Kelsey his box of [[record]]s as she departs with a group of [[Goth (subculture)|goths]] in a [[Volvo]]. Theo departs on a [[London Underground]] [[train]] that arrived next to [[Celestial Omnibus|the bus]], and as the duo enter the bus, Panda finds a [[white]] [[business card]] inside his [[sowester]] that repels the dirt on his paws. It reads, "[[S. Stratton]] of [[Ealing]], Bespoke Tailoring of Exceptional Resilience". | |||
== Characters == | == Characters == | ||
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* A [[troubadour (Party Kill Accelerator!)|troubadour]] | * A [[troubadour (Party Kill Accelerator!)|troubadour]] | ||
* [[Octopus (Party Kill Accelerator!)|Octopus]] | * [[Octopus (Party Kill Accelerator!)|Octopus]] | ||
* [[ | * [[Theo Possible]] | ||
=== Referenced only === | === Referenced only === | ||
* [[David Attenborough]] | |||
* [[Salome]] | * [[Salome]] | ||
* [[John the Baptist]] | * [[John the Baptist]] | ||
* [[George Formby]] | * [[George Formby]] | ||
== | == Worldbuilding == | ||
* The previous night, when it was believed Iris had left Panda to go to a party, Panda watched [[David Attenborough]]. | * The previous night, when it was believed Iris had left Panda to go to a party, Panda watched [[David Attenborough]]. | ||
* The historical performance of Iris' involved her singing "[[Je Ne Regret Rien]]" in a [[dub reggae style]]. | |||
=== Food and drink === | === Food and drink === | ||
* Iris gives Panda a large [[gin and tonic]]. | * Iris gives Panda a large [[gin and tonic]]. | ||
* Carmen offers Panda a [[hot dog]]. | * Carmen offers Panda a [[hot dog]]. | ||
=== Medicine === | === Medicine === | ||
* Ron dissolves like [[Alka Seltzer]]. | * Ron dissolves like [[Alka Seltzer]]. | ||
=== Individuals === | === Individuals === | ||
* Panda compares Carmen's performance to when [[Salome]] | * Panda compares Carmen's performance to when [[Salome]] received the head of [[John the Baptist]]. He then adds that he would decapitate a bus full of [[bible|biblical]] figures just to stimulate Carmen. | ||
=== Technology === | === Technology === | ||
* The cyborg has a "mass of [[USB]] [[cable]]s sprouting from its head". | * The cyborg has a "mass of [[USB]] [[cable]]s sprouting from its head". | ||
=== Music === | === Music === | ||
* In the VIP tent, Theo plays a combination of [[George Formby]]'s "[[Chinese Laundry Blues]]" alongside "monotonous [[Pincer-Movement]] music" that is played in [[Ice Warrior|Martian]] clubs. | * In the VIP tent, Theo plays a combination of [[George Formby]]'s "[[Chinese Laundry Blues]]" alongside "monotonous [[Pincer-Movement]] music" that is played in [[Ice Warrior|Martian]] clubs. | ||
=== Anatomy === | |||
* Iris seemingly has a [[larynx]]. | |||
== Notes == | == Notes == | ||
* To promote the story and anthology, Bidmead shared an excerpt of the story accompanied by an exclusive illustration of Iris and Panda standing in the drizzle outside the [[Zona Oscura Festival]].<ref>[https://battlefieldbythemeadow.blogspot.com/2013/07/mardi-gras-on-western-front.html Battlefield By the Meadow: Mardi Gras on the Western Front]</ref> | * To promote the story and anthology, Bidmead shared an excerpt of the story accompanied by an exclusive illustration of Iris and Panda standing in the drizzle outside the [[Zona Oscura Festival]].<ref>[https://battlefieldbythemeadow.blogspot.com/2013/07/mardi-gras-on-western-front.html Battlefield By the Meadow: Mardi Gras on the Western Front]</ref> | ||
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{{Iris Wildthyme series}} | {{Iris Wildthyme series}} | ||
{{TitleSort}} | {{TitleSort}} | ||
[[Category:The Panda Book of Horror short stories]] | [[Category:The Panda Book of Horror short stories]] | ||
[[Category:Stories set in the | [[Category:Stories set in the 21st century]] | ||
Latest revision as of 15:34, 25 October 2024
Party Kill Accelerator! was the fifth story in the Iris Wildthyme anthology The Panda Book of Horror. It was written by Blair Bidmead.
This story was notable for being the first appearance of Theo Possible and Kelsey who would both later make several other appearances with Kelsey playing a major role in the novel Weapons Grade Snake Oil.
Plot[[edit] | [edit source]]
On the cusp of night and day, Iris Wildthyme and Panda trundle their way through thick, grey mud, following directions written on the back of a cigarette packet to the Zona Oscura Festival. They arrive at their destination, with a doorman granting them access, and giving them VIP lanyards.
Panda, fed up with the mud and the walking, insists that they purchase drinks. So they head to Madame Moiré's Burlesque Escapade, and as Iris fails to explain to Panda about why Jimmy the Mandrill invited them in the first place, he is captivated by a rotund stripper, Ms Carmen Tranquil. Iris leaves Panda to show his affection to Carmen and she heads to the VIP tent.
Meanwhile, the doorman realises that he hasn't eaten for longer than he could remember. Upon this revelation, he dissolves.
After a while of walking, Iris finds a place to sit down, meeting Derek and Mavis. Talking to them, they reveal that they've been exactly where they are for as long as they could remember in order to enjoy every performance of The All-Star Dance Company. Mavis suddenly accuses Iris of knowing her husband previously, startling Iris. Concurrently, where the doorman dissolved, a new entity forms, the Beast, and it violently charges into the festival in order to devour and feed. Panda gets acquainted with Carmen, and Iris then resumes her journey to the other side of the festival.
Panda and Carmen then hear screaming until its silenced by roaring of the Beast, as the Beast tears apart all sorts of individuals. The duo run away.
Iris tries to use her "whatchamacallit", but as it gives off odd readings, she assumes it's glitching due to being wet. She heads inside a tent to dry it off, encountering an audience of robots, cyborgs, and outdated Servo Furnishings. They're watching a display of Poeticnology, being performed by a simple fax machine. In one corner of the tent, a cyborg burns its mouth with a blow-torch, and Iris asks it to let her use the tool.
Kelsey drives a quad-bike behind the tents, bumping into Panda and Carmen. Upon asking what they're running from, Kelsey drives off in the direction of the Beast.
The cyborg explains to Iris that he didn't exist before she arrived, but she's preoccupied with other matters, leaving the cyborg, and its existence ceases.
Kelsey finds the Beast tearing and eating the wings of a small troubadour at a stone circle, and it introduces itself.
At the VIP tent, Iris sees the biggest mirrorball that she had ever seen, and she asks an octopus-like creature who is in charge. It replies, telling her about Theo Possible.
The Beast finds Panda and Carmen, and Carmen traps the Beast under the metal shutter, making Panda reluctantly search for help. Panda arrives at the VIP tent where Iris is trying to get Theo's attention. The Beast arrives, bring Carmen with him, and the Beast reveals Iris never made it to the party.
The previous night, Iris had intended to go out, but had instead spent the night with Panda watching David Attenborough. In the tape, there was a remnant of an old advert, from which an idea of the Beast lodged in Iris' subconscious. Kelsey realises that they're aren't in the material world, which the Beast, or rather Jimmy the Mandrill, confirms.
Panda goes to grab Carmen's hand, be she flings him backwards, sending him crashing into Theo's DJ booth. Standing up, he goes to leave, not before explaining that the Zona Oscura is situated between conceptual and material planes, a haven for lost ideas, born from the biomass that is the mud. Jimmy threatens to eat Iris, as the more people he eats, the more real he becomes. Facing her imminent fate as Jimmy's dinner, Iris sings her swan sing with Theo, which was a momentous event that went down in history. The tremendous performance even distracts Jimmy, who gets crushed along with Carmen by the giant mirror ball, which Kelsey loosened from the ceiling.
Making their way outside to the car park, Theo gives Kelsey his box of records as she departs with a group of goths in a Volvo. Theo departs on a London Underground train that arrived next to the bus, and as the duo enter the bus, Panda finds a white business card inside his sowester that repels the dirt on his paws. It reads, "S. Stratton of Ealing, Bespoke Tailoring of Exceptional Resilience".
Characters[[edit] | [edit source]]
(In order of appearance)
- "Katy Manning" Iris
- Panda
- Ron
- Carmen Tranquil
- Derek
- Mavis
- The Beast/Jimmy the Mandrill
- A cyborg
- Kelsey
- A troubadour
- Octopus
- Theo Possible
Referenced only[[edit] | [edit source]]
Worldbuilding[[edit] | [edit source]]
- The previous night, when it was believed Iris had left Panda to go to a party, Panda watched David Attenborough.
- The historical performance of Iris' involved her singing "Je Ne Regret Rien" in a dub reggae style.
Food and drink[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Iris gives Panda a large gin and tonic.
- Carmen offers Panda a hot dog.
Medicine[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Ron dissolves like Alka Seltzer.
Individuals[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Panda compares Carmen's performance to when Salome received the head of John the Baptist. He then adds that he would decapitate a bus full of biblical figures just to stimulate Carmen.
Technology[[edit] | [edit source]]
Music[[edit] | [edit source]]
- In the VIP tent, Theo plays a combination of George Formby's "Chinese Laundry Blues" alongside "monotonous Pincer-Movement music" that is played in Martian clubs.
Anatomy[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Iris seemingly has a larynx.
Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]
- To promote the story and anthology, Bidmead shared an excerpt of the story accompanied by an exclusive illustration of Iris and Panda standing in the drizzle outside the Zona Oscura Festival.[1]
Continuity[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Kelsey is a member of Faction Paradox. (PROSE: Now or Thereabouts, Weapons Grade Snake Oil)[disputed statement]
- Some of the party guests are outdated servo-furnishings. (PROSE: Sick Building, Enter Wildthyme)
