Death of the Author (short story)

Death of the Author
Main character(s):	Brenda Soobie
Companion(s):	Panda
Main enemy:	Tomdroid
Main setting:	Samhain
Key crew
Writer:	Jay Eales
Release details
Part of:	The Perennial Miss Wildthyme
Format:	Short story
Iris Wildthyme
Next →	Right vs Left vs Wrong

Death of the Author was the first story in the anthology The Perennial Miss Wildthyme. It introduced the village of Samhain and the character of the Shopkeeper, who remained central to the rest of the anthology.

Summary

After partying with Elvis and Priscilla at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas, Panda and a barefoot Brenda Soobie end up stumbling onto an alien conspiracy to kidnap the Presleys and being chased through the corridors by an android duplicate of Tom Jones. Fleeing into the basement, they find, impossibly, a room with windows of multiple sizes and shapes. With no other way out, they clamber through an arched window, and exit through the changing room mirror of the establishment of a man called the Shopkeeper. He knows Iris, and recognises her almost a once, but she doesn't know him yet.

After Brenda and Panda explain the situation, the Shopkeeper finds another, larger mirror and maneuvers it into the changing room, placing it opposite the mirror through which Brenda and Panda arrived. As a result, when the android tries to follow them, it only briefly phases through the Shopkeeper's shop before being transported through the second mirror to yet another time and place — the middle of a desert. Crossing back, it ends up in yet another place, and on and on for twenty-eight consecutive attempts until it gives up and decides to go into hibernation mode until it can think of something to do.

While the Shopkeeper keeps watch over the changing room just in case the Tomdroid comes back, he invites Brenda and Panda to take a tour of the town, Samhain. Walking down Festive Road, they soon find that it is no ordinary place, with the passersby they cross paths with including a man in a bowler hat walking a carnivorous plant, as well as an old man man in Byzantine robes wearing a single scandal, currently locked in an argument with a lisping arachnoid creature about Jimi Hendrix lyrics, a nun riding a penny-farthing, and many other conspicuously eccentric sights. As Panda tries to the road, he is abruptly run over by a van being driven (or, rather, not driven) by a gaggle of clockwork monkeys fighting over the steering wheel.

Panda wakes up at Rifkind's with one arm missing and loose stuffing spilling from his shoulder. After he is given a glass of lemonade to get him back on his feet, he is introduced to the group of living stuffed animals who inhabit this shop: the RifKind, led by the wise old cat Wise Old Mog. They explain that they have been trying to continue the legacy of their creator, Mister Rifkind, who used to gather broken objects and toys and literally give them new life, and who went "over the bridge" many years ago. The RifKind have a rivalry with the clockwork monkeys, who are the assistants of Master Maker, the antithesis of Rifkind, who messes around with intact objects to create unlikely contraptions from them.

The Rifkind decide to show Brenda and Panda the memorial to Mister Rifkind that they created near the town church. When the RifKind explain that the stone was itself taken from Hebden Bridge, however, Brenda and Panda belatedly realise that "over the bridge" is not a euphemism for death, but rather, refers to the bridge which is the only, and perilous, point of contact between Samhain and the outside world. Brenda and Panda quickly attempt to make their way through the bridge, and the trail leading up to it, but harsh wintery weather prevents them, and they soon find themselves circling back to Samhain where they are welcomed back by the sight of Rasher fighting one of the clockwork monkeys.

Just as Rasher is getting the upper hand, Master Maker himself pulls up in his van. He apologetically explains that he accidentally sent the monkey with a note of apology for the trouble his monkeys caused Panda earlier; he never meant to allow them to drive the van, but they wound themselves up and took it for a joyride while he was distracted in his Makeatorium. In further apology, Master Makes Brenda and Panda a sledge to better navigate the trail out of Samhain.

To everybody's surprise, Wise Old Mog asks to go with them, most likely leaving Samhain forever; she explains that she was made to believe in things, and has run out of new things to be believe in in Samhain, thus wishing to explore the outside world. After a wild ride across the bridge, they grind to a halt in a very ordinary street in a very ordinary town, from which the bridge behind them does not look nearly as fantastical as did from the Samhain side. They are greeted by a man called Ned who recognises Mog and, referring to himself as a Netherwarden, uses a Dramatic Device disguised as a fob watch to tell them where to find Rifkind.

They find the middle-aged man trying to repair his car, and carrying a plastic bag full of serious, social-realist books. Upon seeing Brenda with Mog on her shoulders, he initially assumes them to be fans of his books who want a Mog replica signed. However, he softens up when he realises it's the real Mog, and they all go have tea. Rifkind has a long and rambling conversation with Brenda and Panda, alternating between acknowledging the RifKind as real beings and treating them as simply characters he made up; either way, he voices his dispirited despondency about where his writing career's going, explaining that he left Samhain because he felt he couldn't write anything without the puppet characters he created at a young age in it while he worked there.

As he talks through his problem, Rifkind makes up his mind to get over his hang-ups and embrace his love for his old, "silly" characters. Setting aside the serious-minded reference books he'd half-heartedly bought, he says goodbye to Brenda, Panda and Mog, who head back to Samhain. As he watches them walk back up the hill and to Hebden Bridge, for just one moment, Rifkind seems to see Brenda setting Mog down and the stuffed cat genuinely walking by herself, although he isn't sure whether to believe his own eyes. He leaves the café, leaving his serious books with the waitress and declaring that he's got "more important things to write".

Characters

• Brenda Soobie
• Panda
• The Tomdroid
• The Shopkeeper
• "Guy"
• "Sky"
• Unnamed nun
• Derek
• Wise Old Mog
• Pinch
• Punch
• Derek the Drummer Boy
• Rasher
• Pristeen
• Laddo
• Mister Rifkind
• Unnamed waitress

References

• Brenda notes that the Tomdroid is an extremely lifelike duplicate of Tom Jones, "none of your Tussauds rubbish".
• In his early life, the Shopkeeper was fond of Oor Wullie comic strips.
• Brenda recalls having once been "more than close" with Jimi Hendrix. She also claims that he "kissed a guy or two in his time".
• The old Byzantine man cites "Sidebottom" as a musical legend on par with Jimi Hendrix.
• Among many cases of mistaken identity, one of the Samhain passersby mistakes Brenda for a certain Jo-Ella and Panda for Smallbear, telling Panda to give BigBear their greetings.
• There are memorials to Olivia Price, Will Owen and Peter Wilde by the church.

Notes

• Iris's internal monologue suggests she had multiple older-looking incarnations prior to her present one. The Blue Angel suggested Brenda was Iris's third incarnation, in addition to The Golden Hendecahedron painting her as the second.
• The Shopkeeper's wearing of a fez is the occasion of a joking reference to the Eleventh Doctor's propensity to declare such hats "cool", with him beginning the sentence "Fezzes are c…" and Iris warningly interrupting him, only for him to claim that he was about to say "comfy".
• Rifkind is partially an in-universe analogue of Paul Magrs.

Continuity

• PROSE: Wildthyme and the Wolf revealed more about the shared past of Iris Wildthyme and the Shopkeeper.
• The Brenda Soobie incarnation of Iris Wildthyme visited Las Vegas on multiple prior occasions. (PROSE: Mad Dogs and Englishmen, The Golden Hendecahedron)