Parasite (audio story)

Gangsters are vanishing from the streets of Soho, there's a deadly Nazi secret on the loose, and something's moving in the smog. Norton Folgate should be sorting this out, but the Torchwood agent is in disgrace. Who's going to save London this time?

1. The Man From Room 13

2. Meet Mr Lyme

3. The Mould

4. The Spread

5. The Dead Hand

6. The Liberty of Norton Folgate

Plot

The Man From Room 13 (1)

At Room 13, Norton Folgate answers a telephone call concerning another dead Nazi and hands it over to his boss, Lizbeth Hayhoe, who deals with it and lets them know that Norton is "good enough" to speak with them. The Nazi, who had belonged to Project Hermod, had been killed after Norton informed the monastery that he had been travelling to of his arrival in search of a crystal skull. Norton is bored of dealing with petty Nazis, having come close to taking over the Torchwood Institute but ending up stuck in Room 13, and Lizbeth tells him to sit still, behave and celebrate the dead Nazi with crumpets.

Gideon Lyme attempts to catch the attention of a waitress, who ignores him until Norton sits with him and asks for tea and scrambled eggs with no more nasal hair in Lyme's than in his. Norton leaves with Lyme, who says that he is a reporter on Fleet Street, and heads to work where he finds that there is a power cut and Lizbeth is using the fag-end of candles to see. She tells him that something suspicious and likely bound for gangland is being shipped to the UK through the Suez Canal, something that she suspects is extraterrestrial. Norton, however, is flippant and leaves for "dreamland".

Norton goes to Margate and asks Belle Epoch about the Stagnant Pond's activities, learning from her that the Stagnant Pond were aware of the packages and that they intend to steal them before they reach their rivals. Norton sneaks his watch into Belle's pocket and threatens to blow a whistle to attract the attention of plainclothes police officers, forcing her to disclose that the pickup will be happening at Margate Pier.

The two head to Margate Pier and find that the pickup is late. Eventually, the motorboat arrives but is driven by someone other than Konstantin; it is driven by a creature which crashes into the pier and, aflame, chases Norton and Belle, unperturbed when Norton shoots it in the head, heart and major organs. Norton pulls out a disintegrator gun and uses its last shot to kill the creature. He determines that the package has been intercepted and leaves with Belle.

Lizbeth arrives at Room 13 and finds that Norton has arrived early and prepared a bacon roll with which he hopes to keep her from telling him off. She reads him a memo from Reginald Rigsby bemoaning Norton's behaviour and then scolds him herself for getting his hands dirty, having gone beyond Room 13's remit and gaining little to nothing from the excursion. However, Norton theorises that others were interested in the package and that Konstantin had been working with the alien, the other men involved having been shot. He asks Lizbeth to get more resources from Rigsby in order to investigate, which she agrees to do.

Norton returns to the café where Lyme is waiting and tells him that he was recently overlooked for a promotion. When Belle comes in looking for Norton, who is flirting with Lyme, Lyme invites him to his home the following night as he rushes off to speak with Belle. The waitress kicks Belle and Norton out and Belle tells him that there has been no sign of Konstantin.

Norton tells Lizbeth what he has learnt and asks Miss Clarke for a report on Konstantin, whom they believe to be in possession of the package and likely to be a target of the Stagnant Pond. A whistle heralds a delivery which Norton hopes to be Konstantin's location coaxed from the Metatraxis by Miss Clarke, but it turns out to be the forms that they have to fill in and a message that she is going home and can action it tomorrow. Lizbeth tells him that he should be nicer to the clerks and that they have to find Konstantin before anyone else in London does.

Meet Mr Lyme (2)

Arriving in London, Lyme is told that his luggage has been lost and tells the foreman that he needs a clean shirt as he is starting a job as a journalist today. When the foreman proves unhelpful, Lyme tells him that he will be working for a crusading newspaper and that he will be back.

Lyme arrives at the newspaper and, despite receiving a job offer following his application letter enclosing clippings from the Tobago Times, is turned away due to the colour of his skin, being accused of deceiving them by not telling them that he was black. He then goes to the accommodation at Lancaster Gardens that he had arranged to stay at, but is turned away by Mrs Fortescue for the same reason and tells her that his luggage might arrive there in the future. In despair, he stands in the way of a car in the fog but is saved by somebody who quickly disappears, leaving behind their briefcase.

Lyme returns to the newspaper with the briefcase, the contents of which concern Torchwood and impress the editor. The editor shakes his hand and welcomes him to the team, telling him to find out what Torchwood is. Later, he receives a phone call from Mrs Fortescue, letting him know that she has changed her mind and that she is welcome to stay at Lancaster Gardens. His luggage shows up, containing a note inviting him to the Lavendish Tea Rooms.

At the tea room, Lyme asks a man if he is the man that he is meeting, but he tells him to go away. The waitress asks if Lyme is begging and demands that he sit down and wait for her to take his order, which he does. He asks the man if he knows about Torchwood and he tells him to stay there before leaving, after which Norton enters and sits with him.

Lyme is told by the editor, who repeatedly calls him "boy", that he is being funded by the George Ezra Fund, meaning that he is not costing the newspaper any money, but that he has to come up with something. He goes to lunch and meets with Norton, who he feeds ducks with in a park. Norton suggests that they sneak behind a bush to have sex, but Lyme declines and instead suggests that they do so in a neglected stockroom at Norton's library. Norton says that that would not be possible and that, knowing that Lyme likes romance, suggests that he visit Lyme's room one evening, but Lyme says that that too would be impossible. Norton tells him that he has somebody staying over and that he will be busy for the next few days.

Without access to Norton, Lyme tells his editor that he has lost his source and will have to find another. The editor tells him to find another "low-hanging fruit", which Lyme recognises as homophobia.

Days later, Lyme is with Norton at the Lavendish Tea Rooms when Belle enters and calls for Norton. He gives Norton his address quickly as Norton goes after Belle. He follows them and listens to them talk about Konstantin before reminding Norton to meet him tomorrow. After Norton leaves, Lyme talks to Belle, who invites him to visit the Stagnant Pond for a quart of gin and points out that taxis without passengers are being driven by shapes. She says that Norton will have to put right whatever is happening in London.

Lizbeth scolds Norton for burning crumpets on the fire and tells him that there is another package, but Norton cannot stop thinking about Konstantin's, a statement that makes Lizbeth scoff. She shows him a telefax of the package taken by an operative using a long-distance lens and the two begin looking through documents to determine who it was being sent to. After Norton finds something, Lizbeth calls Rigsby and visits him, but he believes that the package likely contains counterfeit cigarettes given that "the wrong sort" were beginning to move to England. He changes his mind once Lizbeth points out that the crate contains a hidden Project Hermod insignia.

Norton suggests that he drive to Dover to impound the boat at customs, but Lizbeth is sceptical of his driving ability and points out that, in any case, the boat is docking at Portsmouth. The two stay at Room 13 overnight and, in the middle of the night, Lizbeth says that they must find a way to make it seem that the package is not intercepted. Rigsby visits them, accompanied by Nancy, and hears from them how the package will be transported from Portsmouth by Royal Mail to 58 Landsmeer Terrace instead of 53 thanks to an operative changing the label. Impressed, Rigsby calls for Nancy to bring him tea.

Rigsby goes to his club for a nap whilst Norton and Lizbeth stay up, excited about what they believe will be their way out of Room 13 and back into Torchwood's good graces. Lizbeth then reveals that the package will be delivered to Room 13 first and it soon arrives. She opens it and finds a locked briefcase which she breaks into using a paper knife, finding a spongey egg inside. Norton becomes suspicious, believing that they might have been tricked by Project Hermod into bringing the egg into Torchwood. Lizbeth points out that it is more like a mushroom and it then emits something into the air, making her cough. A bell begins ringing and Andy Davidson appears out of nowhere, telling Norton to take his hand or he will die.

The Mould (3)

Norton and Andy reappear elsewhere and Norton immediately begins stripping off, telling Andy to do the same due to the spores which Lizbeth breathed in. Andy tells him that the event was flagged up by the Torchwood computer, leading him to borrow a vortex manipulator to travel back and save Norton, although he had to turn on the psychic settings in order to find him. Norton wonders where they are when the lights are switched on by Lyme, who demands to know what they are doing in his room.

Norton reminds Lyme that they do have a date, although Lyme, who is exasperated, points out that he has brought a stranger and that both of them are naked. As Andy starts to retch, Mrs Fortescue walks in and screams upon seeing them. She throws them out and Andy tries to explain what happened. Believing Lizbeth to be dead, Norton suggests that they go to his house. On the way, Norton tells Lyme about Torchwood and says that he believes that something is hunting in the smog, although Torchwood have not listened to him. They hear a growl and run, aware that the creature can smell the spores on them. They manage to escape after the creature finds someone else.

Norton, Andy and Lyme arrive at Norton's house on Russell Square, which he says is a temporary measure due to him missing out on his promotion when they point out the mould and how it smells like something has died. As the house lacks central heating, Norton starts the gas fire with a sixpence and talks to Lyme, telling him that Torchwood has been destroyed and that it is up to the three of them to save London. He also admits that he found the house, which used to be a gangland hideout, whilst investigating the packages and decided to move in and goes to find more wine.

Alone, Lyme asks about the future and is disappointed when Andy indicates that racism and poverty are still around in the 21st century. Andy tells him that he "sort of" works for Torchwood in the future and that the computer found that Norton's timeline is collapsing, possibly meaning that Norton will die. He returns with scotch and they get drunk, Andy later seeing something move under the bed.

Lyme unwraps something wrapped in tarpaulin and finds a creature with human eyes like the one that attacked Norton and Belle at Margate Pier. It attacks and they realise that it has woken up because of the spores but is made dormant by the gas from the fire. Lyme goes to get a sixpence from his coat for the fire and is knocked out, but Norton and Andy manage to grab the coin and insert it. Andy, however, falls unconscious.

Andy wakes up and finds that Norton has dragged him out of the house, that Lyme is unharmed and that the creature is dormant. Although Lyme wants to present the creature to the authorities, Norton blows the house up and they head to Little Compton Street in a taxi. Lyme mentions that Belle is wary of the taxis and points out that the driver is taking them north instead of to Soho Square. They find that the driver is one of the creatures and they leap from the car and go to Soho Square by foot, Norton telling Andy that Little Compton Street is an underground route to Torchwood accessible through a gardener's hut.

The trio are subject to an antibacterial purge of thallo rays and head into the bunker, expecting to find the Torchwood employees from head office hiding within. The door closes behind them and Lyme lights a match so that they can see, revealing that the room is full of creatures.

The Spread (4)

Norton has the opportunity to leave Andy and Lyme behind with the creatures but, after thinking about it, saves them and they escape through a door which they close behind them. Lyme likens the creatures to mushrooms, making Norton realise that the creatures are connected to the type of mushroom which seems to have killed Lizbeth. The creatures partially unlock their side of the seal with the keypad, resulting in the airlock believing that there is no seal and the system not opening the exit until the other is resealed. As the door opens, Norton turns the antibacterial purge up, forcing them back into the bunker.

Norton takes Andy and Lyme to the Stagnant Pond and gets them some gin before going to "answer a call of nature". Andy and Lyme notice that the clock says that it is quarter to eleven when it should be about two o'clock in the morning and that everybody in the pub is looking at them. Making a note to ask Norton, they realise that he will not be coming back.

Asking a policeman for assistance and telling him that he works for Torchwood, Norton realises that the policeman has turned into a mushroom creature and flees.

Belle sits with Lyme and Andy, who gives away that he is a policeman, and tells them that "something happened" to the pub which caused it to become stuck in time, trapping her and her patrons. Lyme tries to leave but finds only darkness outside.

Norton uses a police box and calls Inspector Gondry. The inspector arrives and says that Norton's story about Nazi killer fungi is "bollocks", but Norton tells him that Konstantin Gregor had become a mushroom creature and mentions how many people have gone missing in London recently. To prove that he is right, Norton shows Inspector Gondry that he has the infected policeman in the police box.

Belle says that the pub is wandering in time and will not be properly back in sync for 512 years, according to Torchwood. She and her patrons always have to return to the pub before the shift ends or risk time catching up with them, but Andy and Lyme are safe, having been left behind by Norton to keep them safe. They will, however, be stuck there for some time.

Inspector Gondry has had a word with the British Army and is having the streets swept clean, armed with flamethrowers which Norton tells him will prove useless. Norton tells him that he believes that the spores have been specially-cultivated to make humans their ideal hosts, that they are vulnerable to natural gas whilst they adjust to the atmosphere and that they have a hive mind. Norton uses a truncheon to knock Inspector Gondry out and hides him in a police box whilst the soldiers prove a distraction for the creatures.

In the pub, Lyme looks out of the window at the murky blackness, wishing that he had not been left on the sidelines and still processing that the biggest teddy gang in London are genuine Edwardians. He tells Andy that he knows that what he believed to be the beginning of his story was actually the middle, leading Andy to slip away to buy lemonade.

Norton puts on a dead soldier's asbestos overalls, apologising but saying that his plan means that the soldiers will have fun fighting, the creatures will enjoy thinking that they are winning and that the conflict will allow him to get by unnoticed.

to be completed

The Dead Hand (5)

to be added

The Liberty of Norton Folgate (6)

to be added

Cast

References

Arts and literature

Norton mentions Lady Chatterley's Lover.
Rigsby writes that writing his memo meant that he missed out on the Lord Chancellor's recitation of Gilbert and Sullivan.
Lyme wrote for the Tobago Times, which he is told is "hardly the Morning Star".
Gideon's mother chose his name from the Bible, where she got most of her good ideas.
Norton is aware of Quatermass.
Andy mentions Star Trek.
Lyme says that not even Mantovani and candlelight could make Norton's house romantic.

Food and drink

Lizbeth suggests that she and Norton toast some crumpets. They eat them with margarine.
Norton asks for two teas and two scrambled eggs with no more nasal hair in Lyme's than in his. He later orders two teas, two ham sandwiches and no bogey in the pickle.
Belle used to eat jellied eels at Margate Pier as a girl.
Norton uses the last shot of a disintegrator gun and says that doing so always feels like finishing off a duty-free bottle of crème de menthe.
Norton makes Lizbeth a bacon roll and notes that it is proper bacon with no bits. He says that it has "more sauce in it than Danny La Rue".
With the end of rationing, Norton has found that he does not enjoy having so many sugars in his tea.
Norton suggests that he visit Lyme's home and they share pale ale, a pork pie and a candle.
Curry is from India.
Nancy gives Rigsby tea and a custard cream.
Lizbeth tells Norton to put on some coffee without chicory.
Norton makes Lizbeth some cocoa.
Mrs R gives Rigsby an egg when he asks Nancy to do something with.
Norton has wine at his house. When Lyme asks what it is, he says that it is "bad wine".
Norton brings Andy and Lyme scotch.
Norton gets gin, without tonic, ice or a slice, for Andy and Lyme. Andy asks for a pint instead.
Belle says that they have pork scratchings and pickled eggs.
Andy drinks lemonade.

Individuals

Torchwood used to send keen ex-Wrens to Lizbeth before becoming wise to her sexuality.
Lizbeth intends to stay at Room 13 long enough to get a pension, a cottage in Hebden Bridge and "a bitter old bull dyke called Marjorie" to "bicker out [her] twilight with".
Lyme's aunt has a London biscuit tin with Tower Bridge, Big Ben and a guardsman.
Norton mentions Princess Margaret.
Rigsby attended Eton College and had a fag. He was head boy.
Norton calls Lizbeth "Joan Littlewood".
Miss Clarke is a clerk. Norton says that he would kiss her bunions if she managed to coax Konstantin Gregor's location out of the Metatraxis.
Rigsby says that he has an appointment with the Cabinet Secretary.
Rigsby calls his wife "Mrs R".
58 Landsmeer Terrace was owned by an old tobacconist who was blown to smithereens whilst walking his greyhound, Lucky, in 1943. His daughter lives in Ontario and makes periodic visits.
On the ship to England, Lyme spoke to a nun in steerage who woke up with a rat on her pillow.
Andy was sent to the 1950s by Jack Harkness.
Lyme's uncle gave him a gold tooth as a present.
Inspector Gondry supplied Norton with a dozen of his best men to man a cordon whilst Torchwood cleared up Martian war machines in Leicester Square.

Locations

A Nazi has been killed in the Ganges, downstream from a dark monastery where Norton heard on the grapevine that he would be searching for a crystal skull.
Lyme works on Fleet Street.
Lyme stays in Room 3 at 14 Lancaster Gardens.
The packages are being shipped to the UK through the Suez Canal.
Norton knows of a Project Hermod member in Panama.
Norton blew up Leicester Square, but "saved the other half".
Rigsby's memo says that he was having dinner at Chequers.
Norton says that Rigsby learnt his management style from Emperor Ming.
A telefax of the second package is sent from Lahav.
Landsmeer Terrace is a bombed street; whilst the even numbers are largely untouched, the odd ones are severely damaged.
The tobacconist's daughter lives in Ontario.
Norton's house is a mouldy building on Russell Square which is soon to be demolished due to it "letting down" the area. It used to be a gangland hideout and was the destination of one of the packages.
Little Compton Street was a street which was covered over in the 19th century and became used as a passage between Torchwood and a bunker beneath Soho Square. The combination is 2150.
The Savoy had a bunker in the 1940s with, as Norton recalls, an unreliable generator which plunged those within into darkness at a moment's notice.
The Stagnant Pond has been around since before the Great Fire of London.

Technology

Norton uses a disintegrator gun.
Norton's heater requires sixpences to power the meter.
Andy's vortex manipulator has a "psychic mode" which can locate people.
Torchwood use telefax.
Lizbeth says that the second package might contain a pulse bomb which, as Norton says, could cause one's eyeballs to bubble.
Norton fetches a torch.

Miscellaneous

Some say that the smog is caused by Battersea Power Station.
Lyme jokes that Norton has solved racism and the smog.
Lyme says that there would be rioting in the streets after one day without the BBC and electrical lighting.
Lyme is paid by the George Ezra Fund, which funds the employment of colonials.
Whilst ducks cannot break one's arm, a swan can.
Lizbeth says that Norton is meditating with all the dignity of a chorus boy with the clap.

Notes

Parasite was recorded at WiseBuddah in Soho.
As has been the case for numerous audio spin-offs of Torchwood set in different eras, this set introduces a 1950s Torchwood theme. Previous themes have been the Victorian theme for adventures set in Victorian London and a 1970s disco theme for The Dollhouse.

Continuity

Norton Folgate tries to persuade Lizbeth Hayhoe to investigate the "living fog", to which she responds that Torchwood is leaving well alone, especially since the event in 1952. The Tenth Doctor and Donna Noble had previously defeated the Fumifugium in London, 1952. (AUDIO: The Creeping Death)
Lizbeth states that Norton's previous attempt at seizing leadership of Torchwood One failed miserably. (AUDIO: Goodbye Piccadilly)
Andy Davidson claims to be "sort-of working for Torchwood". (AUDIO: Red Base et al)
Andy claims he was sent to Norton's time by Jack Harkness to stop him from dying early and creating temporal instabilities. Andy is working for Jack following Torchwood Three's second downfall. (AUDIO: Thoughts and Prayers)
Norton recalls saving Andy from the "martians" and the "vats". (AUDIO: Goodbye Piccadilly)
Andy is using a vortex manipulator to travel through time. Jack Harkness of Torchwood Three regularly used a vortex manipulator. (TV: The Empty Child, Everything Changes et al)
It is noticed by numerous members of Torchwood that the taxis and their drivers are acting suspiciously. Similar events happened during the Christmas of 2007, (TV: The Runaway Bride) and the electric carriages investigated by the Paternoster Gang. (AUDIO: The Cars That Ate London)
Before her time working with Folgate, Lizbeth Heyhoe had been investigating those who had had their faces stolen before the coronation. These people's faces had been stolen by an alien known as the Wire. The Wire was later defeated by the Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler in 1953, and the faces of the victims were restored. At the time, the Doctor was unaware that those "kidnapping" the victims were Torchwood. (TV: The Idiot's Lantern)
While in their final moments, Reginald Rigsby is of the opinion that if the right woman can run an Empire, then perhaps the right woman can run the Torchwood Institute. One day, Yvonne Hartman will be one of the most successful and well-known leaders of Torchwood. (TV: Army of Ghosts et al)

External links

Official Parasite page at bigfinish.com