Hoax This! (short story)
Hoax This! was the sixth short story exclusively published on the Who is Doctor Who? website on 24 April 2005[source needed] by the BBC webteam to coincide with the broadcast of World War Three. This story was notable for featuring the UNIT website (which had launched under a week prior), marking the first interaction between two tie-in websites, as well as being the first story on Who is Doctor Who? to address Mickey Smith by name, as up until this point his character had remained anonymous.
Plot[[edit] | [edit source]]
Mickey, now using his real name, writes on Who is Doctor Who? about how, just hours before, he helped the Doctor defeat the Slitheen, and now he sees the world pretending like nothing happened. He continues, referencing the seat of the government is rubble and that a woman nobody ever heard of is now running the country, and stating that moving on is less "freaky" than being in an interplanetary war.
Mickey confesses, expecting what he has to say will be hard to believe, that he has "been in two minds" recently, doubting the evidence, facts, and secrets he uncovered, but is reassured by the emails he receives despite them being nothing new to him. He knows he isn't that brave nor strong nor even that open-minded, but the one thing he absolutely isn't, is a liar.
Mickey also writes about the Doctor, stating that he is beginning to think that the Doctor does mean well, but is still suspicious that he was in some way indirectly responsible for bringing the war to Earth.
Moving onto another subject, he mentions how UNIT — aka the Spooks, the Men in Black, the UN Alien Army — has now got a website: www.unit.org.uk. He exposes their passwords (telling his friends that they should use them sooner rather than later as UNIT will likely change them soon), and that if they "nose around", they'll find many "hair-raising" truths about how the Slitheen weren't the first aliens mankind has met which UNIT dealt with.
Concluding with an editorial, Mickey reveals that the Doctor gave a virus on a CD disc that would erase him from the Internet; but Mickey is apologetic, as he cannot bring himself to use it, as he doesn't want the Doctor to continue to make decisions on humanity's behalf, adding that is enough that he even is in possession of such a virus. However, he does admit, he is ready to use it if the Doctor does pose big enough of a danger.
Entries[[edit] | [edit source]]
The collection of entries is arranged in order, oldest first
| # | Character | Summary |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mrs. Smith | Mrs. Smith begins by saying that she has not seen the creature shown in the picture, though she says that it looks remarkably like her husband Leonard. She has just experienced a rather extraordinary incident in her high street. She had just had tea, some nice smoked fillet haddock which she does not like to be boney as the bones get stuck under the plate of her dentures. She had just nipped out to visit her friend, Lily when the mushy peas she had for tea started a reaction, causing her to suffer from chronic wind, causing her to be very embarrassing. Mrs. Smith's poor tummy was in turmoil and she was flatulating at a terrible rate when all of a sudden, a big helicopter landed in front of her and she was surrounded by soldiers with guns telling her not to move and saying she was an alien in disguise. Mrs. Smith, who is eighty-one, was not bothered by the guns as she had seen them all in the Blitz, but when the soldiers started proding her and trying to remove her cardie she was having none of it and hit out with her brolley. After a brief skirmish the soldiers realised their mistake and let her on her way, leaving just as the ambulance came to take away the Captain. Mrs. Smith is sure that the hospital will have no trouble removing her umbrella. |
| 2 | Joe smith | Joe was walking past Downing Street when he saw a blue light in the window. A strange man ran past holding a blue torch, muttering about what sounded like "slithers". |
| 3 | Ant | Ant was walking across Tower Bridge when the huge alien spacecraft flew overhead. Though the papers are saying that it was a hoax, Ant says that they know what they saw. |
| 4 | Markie, London | Markie asks what has happened at 10 Downing Street as they have seen a missile flying over Whitehall which appears to have scored a direct hit. Noting that everywhere has been blocked off again, Markie says that it cannot be covered up any longer after the last week's spaceship sighting. Markie considers whether to move away from London as things are getting really scary and strange now. |
| 5 | so not the man | so_not_the_man says that there is an obese Geography teacher who works at their school who was "gassy" this week. They are not sure if he is an alien, but notes that he did not come in to work the day after Big Ben was trashed by the spaceship. |
| 6 | Rob McCow | Rob does not know about aliens, but observes that the cloth screens placed around Big Ben to cover the damage up are very convincing; one can hardly see where the so-called spaceship hit it. |
| 7 | James Major | James saw a big fat bloke down the chip shop claiming to be Elvis. James believes that he may well have been one of the aliens. |
| 8 | Kathryn | Kathryn once woke up in the middle of the night and decided to go downstairs as she could not get back to sleep. When she got down she poured herself a glass of water and went to sit in the lounge. At that moment she heard a strange noise from outside. She looked out the window and saw a faint green light down the street. She raced back to bed as fast as she could. The next morning she went to look close and saw that near to where the light was a shape that had just earth on it, no grass at all. Kathryn concludes that her experience was "weird or what". |
| 9 | Data | Data does not believe the event is a hoax as there is way too much damage, lots of money would be needed to do it which could be better spent. |
| 10 | Sir Patrick Moore | Sir Patrick Moore has seen aliens before and so the recent events do not surprise him. He has seen most aliens but cannot tell as the BBC always edits The Sky at Night. |
| 11 | Rose | Rose tells Clive that a number of people have tried to contact the website and the messages are obviously not coming through. She suggests that the messages are being blocked and that if he receives hers to please look into it. |
| 12 | Daz | Daz tells Mickey that his photo looks like a drawing, that anyone with a computer and five minutes could make up a fake like that. Daz says that the news says it is all an elaborate stunt for the new Hitchhiker film. Daz maintains that there are no aliens and no Doctor. |
| 13 | John Doe Smith | John claims to have seen the crash landing and the pig, now said to be fake. John does not believe it was a hoax, rhetorically asking how someone could come up with it. He asks if anyone agrees with him, |
| 14 | daniel | daniel has seen an alien. |
| 15 | Terrance Docks | Terrance went for his check up at the now re-opened Albion Hospital that morning. He was shocked and appalled to note that the "tactless" canteen was cooking bacon. |
| 16 | Rosie Smith | Rosie says that both the the pig and Mickey's alien photo are hoaxes and that everyone she knows agrees. She adds that they both look like something off some sci-fi series run by the BBC. |
| 17 | Aero The Dragon | After seeing the news, Aero The Dragon believes "all of it" and that they will not be tricked. |
| 18 | Skeith | Skeith got lost looking for their dad whilst on a family holiday to England. Wandering through the streets, Skeith was getting more confused by the minute when they turned round a corner and saw something that looked like Mickey's picture. Skeith freaked out and took off as fast as they could, getting more and more lost, when they barrelled into a man who they thought might have been the Doctor. He pointed Skeith in the right direction and suggested that they spend the next day or so in their hotel room. Skeith did not argue. |
| 19 | Cartoonist | About a week after the terrible detonation at 10 Downing Street, Cartoonist saw one of those "persons" at a Tourist Stand next to Bond Street Tube Station, desperately trying to sell little toy rockets with the Union Jack printed on them. A mere coindence? |
| 20 | Silly Dan | Silly Dan says that the Doctor is beyond a doubt the silliest urban legend that he has ever heard of. He points out that the descriptions are inconsistent since the Doctor is said to be both tall and short, young and old, English and Scottish, and the "sightings" are spread out over decades. He ridicules the notion that the Doctor is some sort of immortal master of disguise, this century's version of the Comte de St. Germain. Dan then asks why are all these "alien" sightings concentrated in the UK, observing that, for instance, aliens never invade Canada. |
| 21 | dave | dave claims to see an alien every day, living in his bathroom mirror. |
Characters[[edit] | [edit source]]
(In order of appearance, oldest first)
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Referenced only[[edit] | [edit source]]
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Worldbuilding[[edit] | [edit source]]
- Mickey posts a photograph of the Slitheen.
- He asks his readers for their alien story.
- The Slitheen tried to "destroy all life on the planet".
- Mickey describes the defeat of the Slitheen a "war".
- Mickey writes that the world is forgetting.
- It is the morning after he helped the Doctor defeat the Slitheen.
- Mickey watches and rewatches the the evidence.
- Sometimes Mickey deletes the emails he receives and sometimes reads them.
- Mickey reads the lies that circulate.
- Mickey doesn't fake evidence or exaggerate claims.
- Mickey refers to the Doctor as a "God of Outer Mystery".
- Mickey describes UNIT's website as a dotcom.
- "bison" and "buffalo" are the passwords to the the website.
- One of the passwords grants access to their "internal bulletin board", while the other lets you "into all kinds of scary stuff".
- After being given the computer virus by the Doctor, Mickey thought his behaviour was all "I'm the big bad wolf and it's way past your bedtime."
- This is a small disclaimer about the photographs on the site not necessarily being in the webmaster's copyright, although no infringement is intended.
- There is a small icon for Campaign for Real Aliens and the "website of the month" distinction from Conspiracy GOLD.
Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]
to be added
Continuity[[edit] | [edit source]]
- This story is a sequel to World War Three, as well as the preceding short story Alien landing confirmed as well as the television episode it tied into, Aliens of London.
- This story, following on from World War Three, involves the passwords given to Mickey by the Doctor to access the UNIT website. In the 2016 audio drama Vampire of the Mind, the Sixth Doctor uses the password "buffalo" once again.
Gallery[[edit] | [edit source]]
the UNIT website.
External links[[edit] | [edit source]]
Footnotes[[edit] | [edit source]]
Notes[[edit] | [edit source]]
- ↑ World War Three, the episode that this short story ties into, happens the day prior.
Sources[[edit] | [edit source]]
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