Crazy Caption
From Tardis Wiki, the free Doctor Who reference
The Crazy Caption competition was one of the original features of Doctor Who Magazine from its inception in 1979.
Crazy Caption involved the printing of a photograph within the magazine which contained an empty speech balloon, with readers asked to send in funny comments to go inside it. The best entries were rewarded with prizes and the names of the winners were published in later issues.
The competition's original run lasted until DWM 29, though the format has been periodically revived for later iterations of Doctor Who Magazine.
Original run (1979-1980)[[edit] | [edit source]]
The first place prize for Crazy Caption's original run was £5 while the ten best runners-up received colour autographed photos of Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor.
In addition to their captions, readers were also encouraged in the first issue to list their three favourite features of the publication.
Beginning with DWM 7, one new Crazy Caption and one batch of winners were printed in each issue. The last Crazy Caption was published in DWM 29, after which larger groups of winners appeared without new instalments in DWM 31 and DWM 33.
| # | Winning caption | Winner | Runners-up |
|---|---|---|---|
| DWM 1 (results in DWM 7) |
Fourth Doctor: "Now don't forget to smile when we get to the counter, chaps!" | David Stew of Coventry, aged 13 | Colin Summer of Southport, aged 6 John Smith of Leeds, aged 7 Julie Escott of Cardiff Frank Gillam of Battersea, aged 13 Robert Coumbe of Alton Shaun Walker of Walthamstow Mrs Anne Jennings of Reigate |
| DWM 2 (results in DWM 8) |
Kaldor android: "Alright! Alright! You can be Al Jolson tomorrow night!" | Alan Gentle, aged 11 | Leigh Farringdon of Chertsey, aged 8 Paul Labelle of Shoreham, aged 11 Mark Howard of Gillingham Tam Simpson of Limekilns, aged 8 Nigel Jones of Salop, aged 7½ Gareth Thomas of Bath, aged 7 Spencer Butt of Southampton, aged 5 Liam O'Reily of Mansfield Nathan Cain of Liverpool, aged 6 T. Mountford of Isleworth |
| DWM 3 (results in DWM 9) |
Benton: "Sorry sir, you can't come in here without a tie!" | Paul Batten of Aylesbury, aged 12 | Louise Marriott of Nottingham Mark Dickson of Crawley, aged 9 Giles Addison of Withernsea Antony Dear of Upminster, aged 10 John Whitfield of Leighton Buzzard Nigel Jones of Shrewsbury, aged 7½ Daniel Rowley of Merry Hill, aged 9 Paul Bowler of Lowestoft, aged 9 Stephem Rowland of Axbridge, aged 11 Warren Reynolds of Tamworth, aged 10 |
| DWM 4 (results in DWM 10) |
Fourth Doctor: "If the pen is mightier than the sword let's see you write me out of this!" | Tim Westmacott | Andrew Roberts of St Annes Stephen Langford of Aylsham, aged 10 Sarah Jane Glynn of Welling Mark McGiveron of Liverpool, aged 10 David Gibb of Darrington, aged 10 Marion Marshall of Ayr Chris Charlmers of Ormskirk, aged 16 E. Rackstraw of Basingstoke Peter Esave of West Croydon |
| DWM 5 (results in DWM 11) |
Fourth Doctor: "You must be the head of the string factory!" | Mark Avery | Jason Hull of Hitchworth, aged 6½ Ross Sleight of Swindon, aged 9 Colin Bodenham of Llandrindod Wells S. Emmerson of Barnsley, aged 10 John Tomlinson of Saltborn, aged 9 Aileen Smith of Kirkcaldy Vincent Wilkins of Plymouth David Parker of Ellesmere Port John and Denise Wilkinson of Glasgow Glenn Miller of Irvine |
| DWM 6 (results in DWM 12) |
Romana II: Don't look now Doctor but there's a Cybermat climbing up your scarf." | Craig Spink of Guildford, aged 9 | Terry Lewing of Kent, aged 8 Peter Gintz of Cardiff, aged 15 David Barnes of Westcliff, aged 9 Craig Dellar of Hitchin, aged 9 Benjamin Dodd of Newcastle Christine Woodward of St Helens Matthew Waltham of Sutton Coldfield Andy Nevil of North Walsall Stephen Rowland of Axbridge Nicholas Perie of Kendal, aged 9 |
| DWM 7 (results in DWM 13) |
Sarah Jane Smith: "Watch out, here comes Tarzan!" | Robin Latchford of Enfield | John Lymer of Weymouth Jonathan Strickland of Fareham Mary Joyce Holmes of Birmingham Graham Brook of Byfleet>br>Christine Woodward of St Helens Ian Smith of West Hendon Spencer Schopepfer of Brentford Paul Fisher of Newton Heath Simon Thrower of Doncaster Andrew Bowerbank of Southwick |
| DWM 8 (results in DWM 14) |
Cyberman: "I'll find that two pence if it kills me!" | Nicholas Johnson of Bedington Wirral | P. Rhodes of Leeds David Russell of Wedmore Alan Smith of Leicester David Walker of Aberdeen Martin Shadbolt of Somersham Barry Pigott of Ashton Under Lyne Darren Tamsley of Colchester William Hodgson of South Shields Mrs V. Douglas of Tenterden J. Gardner of North Petherton |
| DWM 9 (results in DWM 15) |
Dalek: "This is the last time I have a date with a Silurian!" | Jill Amanda Haworth | Kevin O'Roueke of Workington Philip Barrett of Trowbridge Steven Johnson of Coventry Andrew Kneale of Southbourne Kenneth Gardiner of Stowmarket David Burton of Eastbourne Geoffrey Henman of Rainham Keith Jones of Oswestry Philip Landau of Finchley Andrew Smith of Oldburywarley |
| DWM 10 (results in DWM 16) |
Voord: "Give it to me straight Doc, is it serious?" | Carl Cheetham of Harrow | Alan Tucker of Frimley James Fidler of Croydon John Treasure of Slough Michael Holliman of Bletchley Jeff Taylor of Blyth Andrew Abbott of Ayr C. Cooper of Leicester Mark Adams of Birmingham Peter Chu of Liverpool Simon Madden of Leeds |
| DWM 11 (results in DWM 17) |
First Doctor: "No! Not like that. Watch. Here's the church and… | Peter Moore of Filey | Andrew Goble of Leyton Stewart Maclaren of Bexley Gary Broad of Northfleet Martin East of Wistaston Christopher Denyer of Tring Kevin Mullins of Leamington Spa Robert Watson of Liverpool Ian Gardiner of Gloucester Simon Green of Manchester Naeen Malik of Ilford |
| DWM 12 (results in DWM 18) |
Fourth Doctor: "It can't be! It is! It's Leela hang-gliding!" | Mark Siredzuk of Wallasey | Alison McCall of Rustington Richard Reid of Basingstoke Jason Turner of Birmingham Christopher Hockley of Swansea Mark Beattie of Basingstoke Alan Owasu of Forest Gate David Simpson of Hamilton Helen Fairbairn of Ashington Stuart Alder of Benfleet Brad Perry of Beckenham |
| DWM 13 (results in DWM 19) |
Krynoid: "Hey! Give me back my golf ball!" | Andrew Foot of Glastonbury | Christopher Smith of Blackwood Thomas Williams of Bangor Brian Carbonero of Harlesden Andrew Bright of Billericay W. Westwater of Glasgow Gary Jones of Dyfed Jeremy Minton of Corbridge M. Capel of Aldershot Barry Johnson of Birmingham Jane Grant of Cardiff |
| DWM 14 (results in DWM 20) |
Edward Travers: "Erm… um… pass!" | Christopher Fuggle of Stamford | John Gardner of Petherton Richard Matthews of Bath Ama Esesien of Wimbledon Anthony Boswell of Uckfield Jane Wilcox of Ripon D. Forrester of Dundee Karen Booth of Manchester Adrian Eastwood of Cambridge Jacqueline Bond of Blackburn Guto Williams of Betwsycoed |
| DWM 15 (results in DWM 21) |
Fourth Doctor: "I don't know why you bother with the gun bit mate, 'cause I'm in your pocket!" | Adrian Ward of Peterborough | Andrew Godsmark of Winsor Mark Greaves of Leamington Spa Alan Bond of Wirral Joanne Shaddock of Plymouth Louise Marshall of Portsmouth Carl Beattie of Harborough Michael Cleary of Liverpool James Deighton of Leeds Matthew Corbett of Fareham David Appleby of Dulwich |
| DWM 16 (results in DWM 22) |
Cyberman: "No André, Madam does not want a short back and sides!" | Matthew Corbett of Fareham | Paul Ottaway of Devizes Paul Hearne of Wallsend Scott Fraser of Shiregreen Paul Campbell of Kelso Nigel Moseley of Buxton Paul McAdam of Bangor Terry Doyle of Stechford Robert Lauglin of Preston Jan Marshall of Kingston Mark Greaves of Leamington Spa |
| DWM 17 (results in DWM 23) |
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: "Don't you think we've had enough of this self congratulation?" | H. Williams of Llangwin | David Pemberton of Dukinfield Steven Reynolds of Huddlesfield Dennis Cattell of Derby Neil Evans of Penthe Nathan Rimell of Croydon Christopher Steven of Southampton David Allen of Birmingham Alison White of Bethnal Green Ben Lawrence of Winsor Paulene Yates of Southampton |
| DWM 18 (results in DWM 24) |
Linx: "Yee neva was any guid at the highland fling wus yee, wully?" | Gavin Ledwith of Sunderland | Sandra Simpson of Hexham Anthony Lydon of Kirby L. Dowis of Edinburgh David Tarrington of Hornchurch Nicholas Kirk of Ilkeston Simon Horton of Walsall Lindsey Gall of Orpington Kenneth Hardman of Poyton David Devine of Glasgow David Robertson of Glasgow |
| DWM 19 (results in DWM 25) |
Cyberman: "Impressive, but it'll never get of the ground." | Simon Rogers of Oxford | Darren Smith of Ramsgate Paul Bond of Manchester Damian Clayton of Rawtenstall Paul Jepson of Sheffield Jeremy Starling of Cottenham J. Edwards of St Helens Guy Edmonds of Birmingham Tom Gribbin of Belfast Graham Andre of Newport Don Keywood of Wellingborough |
| DWM 20 (results in DWM 26) |
Dalek: "They jeered at our demands for a Dalek weekly… so let the invasion of Earth commence!" | A.J. Waters of Tonbridge | David Claridge of Coventry Jonathan Terry of Ruddington Gary McGough of Sheffield Wayne Hall of Warly Michael Cotterall of Stourbridge David Smith of Sheffield Nick Ford of Cobham Paul Dick of Salop Malcolm Stevens of Godalming Jeffrey Forster of Battersea |
| DWM 21 (results in DWM 27) |
Third Doctor: "I see water… yes! You are going on a long journey…" | Jonathan Gudgion of Olney | S. Simpson of Hexham Hyrum Haworth of Brandlesholme James Lupton of Missenden Andrew Nixon of Shipley A. Goodman of Birmingham David McGarva of Eckington Steven Pagomenos of Hendon Stephen Storey of Loughborough Terry Stopher of Stowmarket Martyn Hopkins of Port Talbot |
| DWM 22 (results in DWM 28) |
Third Doctor: "Who's 'ed goes in the stewpot?" | Gary Price of Oldbury | Christopher Hockley of Swansea Robert Reeve of Ilford Richard Barrett of Olney Stephen Nottingham of Beaconsfield David Devine of Glasgow James Ponton of Chalfont St Peter Paul Emery of Welwyn Garden City Sean Phelan of Westgate Richard Phillips of Blackburn Lee Cartmell of Havant |
| DWM 23 (results in DWM 29) |
Third Doctor: "I don't care how friendly it is we are not having any pets in this house!" | Maria Richmond of Bath | Gary Broad of Northfleet Michael Holliman of Bletchley Mark Johnson of Lincoln John Frost of Liss Mark Wilmot of London Carole Jackson of New Malden Robert Watson of Warley Jeremy Starling of Cottenham Shaun Harding of Oakley Robert Griffiths of Lonsett |
| DWM 24 (results in DWM 31) |
Vicki: "So much for computer dating!" | Gareth Didd of Stevenage | Hyrum Haworth of Brandlesholme P. Rhodes of Arbroath Philip Kindness of Newcastle Andrew Nixon of Shipley Robert Watson of Warley Michael Beswick of Frodsham Simon Smith of Jarrow Ian Richardson of Croydon Matthew Bateman of Bristol Gary Simons of South London |
| DWM 25 (results in DWM 31) |
Dalek: "Makes a change from unblocking sinks!" | David Hayles of Tetbury | Jason Aris of Coalville Athony Neil of Portsmouth Richard Warren of Bognor Regis David Barnett of Wigan Paul Sobanski of Newcastle Andrew Jones of Wrexham Martin Burns of Stanford le Hope David Crees of Chichester Mark Wilmot of Holloway Stuart Ward of Westcliff-on-Sea |
| DWM 26 (results in DWM 31) |
Sensorite: "I'm sorry. I'm afraid you've got the wrong number!" | Sheryl Brook of Skegness | Peter Carey of Easington Craig Borland of Kilmarnock Robert Watson of Warley David Moran of Leicester Adrian Clark of Lincoln Nicholas Randell of Norwich Paul Damaa of New Malden Nicholas Seeran of Swindon Neil Devereux of Norwich M. Ferris of Bromsgrove |
| DWM 27 (results in DWM 33) |
Second Doctor: "Nan's Christmas cards get stranger every year!" | J. Smith of Peterborough | J.R. Swales of Gateshead Andrew Fulker of Hanworth Christopher Gray of Fife Robert Watson of Warley Gillian Eckersley of Manchester Simon Farquhar of Upminster Mark Wareham of Bournemouth James Haiey of Ayshire Chris Drake of Leicester Igor Czajhowski of Lowestoft |
| DWM 28 (results in DWM 33) |
First Doctor: "Alright! Alright! I'm sorry the TARDIS landed on your horse!" | Jason Hart of Peterborough | Ron Keywood of Wellingborough John Wing of Enfield Suzanne Barry of Lossiemouth Sean Wilson of Hull Lee Waite of Romford J. Brownsey of Fordingbridge Alan Statt of Glasgow Colin White of Bethnal Green Richard Tampion of Shipley David Cornes of Atherton |
| DWM 29 (results in DWM 33) |
Menoptera: "Bartender, I want of Denebian slime devil, on the rocks, and a packet of regular blood worms please." | Steven Hewitt of Portsmouth | Aaron Byrne of Belfast Peter Chu of Liverpool John Anderson of Belfast Edward Rendell of Farnham John Gardner of Pertherton Timothy Rodmell of Lowestoft Mark Hillman of Brentwood Mark Cumming of Glasgow Neil Rosney of Runcorn Grant Meadows of Corringham |
